Shock and Awe: I Spent a Few Days with a Ferrari 488GTB and Dodge Charger Pursuit

If you’ve ever watched VH1’s Behind the Music, you know that there’s a story behind every album. I mean, Mötley Crüe didn’t create a head-banging juggernaut like Dr. Feelgood in a vacuum, people. This magazine, similar to the Crüe in so many ways, also has stories behind the, um, stories. And I’m not just talking about Phillips’s solo rap career. As a prelude to “How Fast Does Your Car Need to Be to Outrun a Cop?”, I spent a few days with both the Dodge Charger Pursuit and the Ferrari 488GTB, giving me some ­contemporaneous experience with life on the far end of the automotive public-­affection spectrum.

I thought the cop car would be fun. I thought people would get a kick out of it. But it turns out that a black Charger with a light bar just makes everyone nervous. It even made me uneasy. I constantly felt the need to explain myself, possibly because I was constantly asked to explain myself. When I stop at a rural gas station, the clerk nervously asks, “What’s going on out there?” It occurs to me that the local cops probably have their own pumps, so they don’t stop at the gas station unless there’s trouble. I assure her that nothing’s wrong. It’s just a Charger Pursuit with a light bar and spotlights and no rear interior door handles. I’m sure I come off exactly like a cop who’s trying not to act like a cop.

And you’d think you could get where you’re going extra quickly in a cop car, but it’s actually the opposite. Everyone gets so wigged out when they see Darth Charger that they slow way down, turning you into the grand marshal of a never-ending parade. On that front, I have one major piece of advice for the motoring public: Don’t act guilty. Because when a cop rolls up behind you in a 35-mph zone and you immediately slow to 27 mph, that does not tell him that you’re a conscientious driver. It tells him that there’s something in your pocket that you’re suddenly very nervous about. Whatever that thing is—a stolen derringer, half-empty nips of homemade Fireball, tropical frogs—he’s now certain it’s there. Just drive 5 mph over the limit and you won’t even be noticed. Stay cool, man, is what I’m saying.

In contrast, let’s talk about the Ferrari 488GTB. Everybody loves a red Ferrari. And I’m happy to spread the joy. By which I mean, show off and act rich.