Friends, family recall former SD attorney killed in NC

SIOUX FALLS, S.D. (KELO) — On March 17, 44-year-old Emily Christine Steinhoff James was shot and killed. Police in North Carolina say that she was shot by the father of her sister’s 14-month-old child.

Emily Steinhoff had reportedly accompanied her sister to pick up the child who had spent the weekend with the father.

Now, Emily is being remembered by people in different cities, half a nation apart.

KELOLAND News has spoken with a number of people who knew Emily through a very accomplished, if too short, life. Her adopted father, Daryl Steinhoff, spoke briefly with KELOLAND by phone, outlining the progression of Emily’s adult life; serving in the military, getting her law degree, working as an attorney for the V.A. and the Minnehaha County Public Defender’s Office before starting her own practice.

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Following this, Emily moved to North Carolina to be closer to family, went to Duke for a nursing degree, met her husband, had a child and became a fixture in the community.

Emily’s sister-in-law, Sheena Steinhoff shared her memories. Steinhoff moved out to North Carolina in the early 2000s to live with her boyfriend (Emily’s brother) Ryan. At the time, Ryan was living with his sister Emily, who had just ended a five-and-a-half-year stint in the military.

“That’s kind of where our story started,” Steinhoff said. When asked about Emily’s personality, she said there is one word that really stands out. “I could keep just saying ‘love’, but that was Emily,” she said. “She always let you know how loved you were — when you were with her, you were the center of the world.”

Steinhoff at one point described Emily as a person who ‘filled people up.’ This was a characterization that echoed through conversations with others who knew her.

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After getting her law degree, Emily moved home to Sioux Falls and eventually wound up working as a public defender. Traci Smith at the Public Defender’s Office still remembers her, now more than a decade after they last worked together.

“She worked here in the early 2000s,” said Smith. “She had a lot of energy. Really cared about her clients and was just very compassionate.”

One thing that Smith recalled in particular was the amount of empathy that Emily had. “It’s not surprising that she would be somebody that people would reach out to if they needed help,” she said.

The community of attorneys, and especially public defenders, is a small one in South Dakota. “Once a public defender, always a public defender,” said Smith. “You still stay in touch on social media and you still stay in touch that way.”

Despite the fact that Emily moved out of state and was no longer practicing law, Smith said she didn’t really fade from memory in the South Dakota legal community. “Her name was still someone that when you hear her name — everybody still remembers each other,” she said.

Smith remembers Emily as a big voice in the community for those in need. She’s not the only attorney in town who remembers her.

Dick Johnson is another Sioux Falls attorney and a friend of Emily’s adopted father. “I knew Daryl really well and so I think that I got to know Emily kind of through Daryl,” he said.

Johnson spoke to Emily’s accomplishments. “She got a JD — a law degree — and then she also had an RN too. I would say she had a lot of energy and determination,” he said.

Emily’s death is a tragedy, says Johnson, for a woman who worked so hard. “She was an accomplished lawyer — she had the determination and drive — she worked herself up, she joined the armed services, she went to college, she went to law school and she became an attorney largely through her own efforts and her own drive,” she said.

This drive of Emily’s was evident to Sheena Steinhoff too. “Emily always went above and beyond in literally everything she did,” she said.

Emily’s death now leaves behind a large community of those who will miss her, spanning the 1,000 miles from Sioux Falls to Raleigh, N.C., and likely beyond. That community includes those KELOLAND talked to today, and also her husband, Chris, and their young child, Miles.

A fundraiser to support Emily’s family in this time has been set up, and a celebration of her life will be held on Wednesday, March 27 at The Fountain of Raleigh Fellowship. A family visitation will begin at 11 a.m., followed by a noon funeral service.

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