Country singer and actress Jana Kramer, 38, revealed that she "destroyed" ex-husband Mike Caussin's things — including an expensive tuxedo and multiple Xboxes — upon discovering that he cheated on her with more than 13 women.
"I shattered so many things in my house," she said on the recent episode of Facebook Watch's Red Table Talk. "There was this pantry door ... so me and my girlfriends took a bat to it ... I destroyed all his Xboxes and all those things he said was his only vice. I wrote all over his tux. I went real crazy for a minute."
Kramer and Caussin split in April 2021 after six years of marriage — though it's not the first time they'd separated. The former couple previously separated in 2016, citing Caussin's multiple affairs. They ultimately reconciled and chose instead to work on their marriage.
They worked on multiple collaborations together during their reconciliation — including co-authoring the bestselling book The Good Fight, which chronicled their journey of forgiveness, and launching the Whine Down podcast, during which Caussin opened up about having sex addiction and claimed he was in a 12-step program.
In hindsight, Kramer says Caussin "did not tell the truth" in the book, which she says makes her feel ashamed. She also said he gaslighted her into thinking it was her fault he'd been having affairs.
"We had just became New York Times bestselling authors about how we got passed this, and I'm like, I look like a f***ing idiot," she says. "But he says the podcast was a catalyst for more of his cheating because it made him feel like he 'always had the spotlight on him,' so then I felt like it was my fault, because if only we didn't have that podcast, he wouldn’t have cheated."
Though the ex-couple continues to co-parent their daughter Jolie, 6, and son Jace, 3, Kramer was quick to explain the complicated reasons why she chose to stay with Caussin in the first place, despite seeing multiple "red flags" at the beginning of their romance.
"I was 30 and I really wanted a family. I had just been searching to find my worth through a man," she said. "There were flags in the beginning. He had cheated a month into dating but I'm like, 'It's OK, I've cheated in past relationships and I didn't forgive myself for it so I'm going to forgive you. I can make this work. We can grow together.' In the marriage, too, every time he cheated for a second, third, however many times, I'd be like, I forgive you."
Being unable to let go of those dreams, she says, kept her from leaving him.
"I came from a broken family and my whole thing was, I do not want my children to grow up in a broken house," she explained. "Even when he would have a few months of no cheating, then something would happen, and I'm like, now I'm back to that overwhelming, oh my God, my family is falling apart and now I need to grasp tighter. And then I'd get even more anxious attachment, and then he couldn’t breathe because I'm just like clinging on to him. And so it just became this cycle.
"I didn't forgive him. I said I trusted him, [but] I didn't trust him," she added. "I still was always looking, trying to find things and I was ... waiting for the next shoe to drop. And it wasn't good for my kids. By that time we had two kids, and you just put all this pressure on yourself, 'I'm gonna stay again and try this, and next time not to be controlling. Maybe then he'll not cheat on me.'"
After looking through phone bills and discovering multiple numbers she didn't recognize, Kramer then discovered that Caussin had been having affairs with more than a dozen women.
"I started calling these numbers and that's when I found out the truth," she said.
Kramer says she's been trying to stay strong for the sake of her kids, and admits that forgiveness — not only for him, but for her as well — has been a process.
"People slide into my DMs: 'How much longer are you going to keep talking about it? Won't you heal already?'" she said. "And I'm like, shoot you are right. I'm like, is it time to really let it go so you can grow?"
Kramer has been incredibly vulnerable with her fans throughout her divorce process, including how she's been handling "mom guilt" as she continues to work.
In April, the singer shared some behind-the-scenes footage of her upcoming movie while opening up about the guilt she feels as a newly single mom.
"I hope they know this is all for them," she captioned the post, which featured a few clips of her two kids watching her on set. "Mom guilt is so real when I'm working but I pray they see in the end it's all for them."
Wellness, parenting, body image and more: Get to know the who behind the hoo with Yahoo Life's newsletter. Sign up here.