Gwyneth Paltrow Is Reframing the Idea of an ‘Empty Nest’ as Son Moses Preps for College

Don’t ask Gwyneth Paltrow how she’s feeling about her youngest son Moses, 18, going to college this fall. Chances are, she might just break down crying if you do. The Goop founder opened up about approaching empty nester status as her son gets ready to move out in an emotional new interview — and the thoughtful way she’s working on reframing this stage of life in her head.

Paltrow said that the thought of Moses going to Brown University this fall is hard for her. “It’s kind of giving me a nervous breakdown, if I’m honest,” she told The Hollywood Reporter at the 11^th In Goop Health Summit last weekend. “I started being like, ‘Oh my God, and I need to quit my job and I need to sell my house and I need to move.’ It’s sort of putting things into turmoil.”

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The Shakespeare in Love star, who shares Moses and daughter Apple, 19, with ex Chris Martin, continued, “My identity has been being a mother. Apple’s going to be 20 in May. So I’ve oriented my whole life around them and their schedules and when school starts.” She added, “You start to let go in increments when they’re driving themselves around or doing certain things. It is a slower process. I feel really lucky because I have a close group of mom friends and we all raised our kids alongside one another. So we’re kind of in it together.”

In addition to leaning on her mom friends for support, Paltrow is doing her best to follow some well-meaning advice she heard to reframe the idea of having an empty nest. “Psychologist-astrologist Jennifer Freed said, ‘I would like you to think of it as being free birds instead of having an empty nest.’ And that resonates,” Paltrow told the outlet. “Instead of creating a sense of loss, what if I were free? And I could say yes to a girls’ weekend, because I didn’t feel guilty. That kind of thing.” Absolutely love this idea, BTW! Turning this sad situation into a major positive (so much freedom!) has got to do wonders for your mental health.

The Oscar-winner has been talking about her kids a lot lately. In a recent interview with Cultured, she admitted that her kids teach her about memes that she doesn’t understand. “This one meme, ‘I’m baby,’” she explained. “I’m like, What the f–k? What does that mean? And then everyone tries to explain what ‘I’m baby’ means. I finally got it.”

And when Moses heads out to college, Paltrow has high hopes he’ll still keep her up to date on internet culture.

“Luckily, I talk to my daughter multiple times a day, and I’m sure when Moses goes it will be the same,” she added. “But in the meantime, until September, I have my son here to explain to me what all these crazy things that pop up are.”

She also told The Sunday Times that motherhood has made her “so defined and so fulfilled.”

“On the one hand, [I feel] incredible sadness,” she added about Moses moving out soon. “A deep sense of impending grief. On the other hand, this is exactly what should be happening. Your kids are supposed to be, you know, young adults who can achieve and cope and make connections and be resilient. That’s exactly what you want. And that means they leave the house.”

She went on, “I’ve been so defined and so fulfilled by motherhood. It’s been kind of the central … it’s been like the central kind of … I don’t know even how to articulate it! It’s like the guiding force. It’s what I return to. I observe a lot of my friends who’ve had kids who’ve gone off to college. Your kid … it changes. And, you know, they come home a lot and all that stuff, but it’s not quite the same as living under the same roof all the days of the year. So I’m just trying to be open to what that means.”

“I never really go anywhere or do anything because I want to be around my kids while they live at home.” Paltrow added. “You know, it’s like, ‘Oh, we’re doing a girls’ weekend here and there,’ and I’m like, ‘F*** no, I have 88 days left of Moses living [with me],’ you know? It’s been basically 20 years of me being beholden to a school calendar — so what will that feel like, to not have that? I don’t know. It’s sort of exciting, in a way, if you let it be. Maybe?”

No stage of motherhood is necessarily “easy,” but having all your kids move out might be the very hardest. Luckily, Paltrow has a big support system and a great relationship with her teens to lean on!

These celeb parents have gotten very real about their kids growing up.

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