What Does ‘FWB’ Mean? Experts Share if This Type of Relationship Is Right for You

Ashley Broadwater
·7 min read
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In a society full of acronyms and slang terms such as SMH, delulu and FWIW, “FWB” is one of many. You may have seen it on dating apps, near the phrase “Netflix and chill,” or in a text from a friend. However, if you don’t know FWB's meaning, you’re not alone! That’s totally fair, and Parade is here to help.

Sneak peek: “FWB” is a relationship(ish) acronym. Read ahead for what it means, experts' answers to common FAQs, and how to set yourself up for success in a FWB relationship.

What Does FWB Mean?

FWB is an acronym for “friends with benefits.”

The term was probably first said in Alanis Morissette’s song “Head Over Feet,” in which she sings, “You’re my best friend, best friend with benefits.”

While Morissette was referring to a long-term relationship, FWBs nowadays typically aren’t serious or romantic. A FWB is a type of relationship where you have a platonic friendship and also engage in sexual activity (hence the “benefits” part).

It’s also important to note that the “friends” descriptor doesn’t necessarily mean you lean on each other emotionally all the time, but you might do other things together or hook up more regularly than you would with a one-night stand. In other words, sex is probably a big (if not the main) reason you hook up (literally) with the other person.

Related: What Exactly Is a Platonic Friendship? Plus, How To Make It Work

Can a FWB Fall in Love?

While FWB relationships typically aren’t romantic, it is possible for the people involved to fall in love!

“Research studies indicate that while the rate of long-term relationships among friends with benefits is low, it’s not impossible,” says Caitlin Opland, LCSW, a licensed clinical social worker with Thriveworks in Littleton, Colorado. who specializes in relationships, stress and coping skills.

The success depends on one main factor, according to Opland: mutual communication about commitment levels.

“Building a deeper connection, honesty and setting boundaries are crucial steps for moving from FWB to a committed relationship,” she continues. “However, challenges may arise if these arrangements aren’t established upfront. If one partner is open to commitment and the other isn’t, or if commitment styles differ, the chances of love remain limited.”

Allison Kent, LCSW, a relationship and sexuality counselor, agrees it’s absolutely possible—and that it requires communication to be successful. “The challenge with FWBs is that it is a relationship,” she says. “All relationships change in time. Without clear communication, the changes in an FWB dynamic can result in feeling rejected, abandoned, or pressured to escalate into dating and romance.”

And again, that can be positive—if both people feel the same—or negative, if the love is unrequited and the friendship is hurt in some way, Kent adds. This is just something to be aware of.

Related: The 8 Communication Red Flags To Work on in Your Relationship Before It’s Too Late, According to Divorce Attorneys

Is Friends With Benefits Right for You?

But how do you know if a FWB relationship is what you’re looking for? Some people may think they're fine with this, and find out they actually desire something more serious. For others, a casual FWB situation may be exactly what they're craving.

“If you are interested in having sex but not interested in building a romantic relationship, and can practice excellent communication skills and uphold boundaries, a FWB might be right for you,” Kent says.

One of the pros, in a way, is that you don’t necessarily have to share as much in common with them as you might need in a serious relationship. “What you like in a friend (different politics or religious preferences, income or career trajectories, parenting choices) may not be what you like in a romantic partner, and just because the sex is good does not mean you are soulmates,” she adds. So yes, good sex doesn’t always mean a good romantic relationship—and that’s okay.

Since understanding what you’re looking for can be fairly complicated, Opland speaks to the importance of knowing yourself well, and she explains what that might look like. “When contemplating a friends-with-benefits relationship, it’s crucial to understand your own desires—whether it’s seeking physical closeness with ‘no strings attached’ or simply companionship without emotional commitment,” she explains. “Equally important is open communication with your partner about boundaries and expectations.”

A couple of key factors can help you decipher what you’re looking for. The first, Opland says, is what aligns with your current life circumstances. Is providing time and emotional space to someone feasible for you right now?

Along those lines, the second factor she mentions is whether you’re ready to commit your heart to someone right now.

“Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer; trust yourself to navigate this unique relationship,” she adds.

6 Tips for a Healthy FWB Relationship

So, you’ve decided a FWB relationship is right for you. If that’s the case, here are therapist-backed tips on ensuring it's as healthy and smooth as possible.

1. Be open and honest

While this can be hard, it's vital—even with feelings that seem “small.” Further, it's not only for the other person, but something to practice within yourself too.

“Honesty and transparency with your own emotions, as well as your partner’s, is needed to address anything that might change the dynamics of your relationship,” Opland says.

After all, how can you be open and honest with another person if you aren’t open and honest with yourself?

2. Discuss parameters and safety

Having an FWB relationship isn’t as simple or cut-and-dry as it may seem. Kent encourages discussing several aspects, such as whether the FWB is private, if other people will ever be involved, and what information and activities will be shared versus what’s off-limits (examples: family updates, the annual holiday work party, meeting the kids).

Safety is a huge part of this. Kent recommends checking in with your partner about sexual practices. Are all partners practicing safe sex and getting regular STI/STD screenings? How do you each define “regular” screenings?

3. Set boundaries and expectations

More specifically, Opland mentions establishing ground rules around exclusivity, frequency of interaction, and emotional involvement.

“Remember the intended purpose of this relationship and keep it casual,” she says. “Avoid romantic gestures or any expectations of long-term commitment.”

Related: 35 Phrases to Set Boundaries Firmly and Fairly, According to Mental Health Pros

4. Talk logistics

Getting down to the nitty-gritty specifics is another part of the expectations discussion.

“Be clear about your sexual needs and what your time needs are (weekly standing appointment, or if we happen to be at the same party, we can go home together?)” Kent says.

5. Provide and ask for updates

Communication isn’t a one-and-done thing you only do at the beginning of a relationship. “Share updates as situations change,” Kent says. Perhaps you can’t meet as often, or are starting to develop feelings, for example. What constitutes an “update” can vary widely.

6. Have mutual respect

Last but not least, respect. It’s paramount.

For example, let's say your FWB is in an open relationship. “Avoid jealousy and possessiveness if your partner is dating someone else,” Opland says. Going back to setting clear boundaries, she continues, and communicating your wants and needs are two steps that can help with this.

The mutual respect extends to how you treat yourself, how you treat the other person, and how the other person treats you. Opland finds this to be a key to FWB success. “FWB relationships work best when you prioritize respect and kindness between each other.”

Next up: Experts Say There Are 4 Major Stages to Every Relationship: Which One Are You In?

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