I Was Accepted To Raya—Here’s What To Know About Getting On The Exclusive Dating App
"Hearst Magazines and Yahoo may earn commission or revenue on some items through these links."
A few years ago, I did the impossible: I was accepted onto Raya. As a 22-year-old college senior and magazine intern, I applied just to see what would happen. Of course, I was also dying to know what was so special about the elusive dating app. Within a few days, I got in (I'm guessing because I had bylines at some cool magazines) and saw what goes on within Raya's realm. And now, I'm spilling its secrets.
But first, the basics: Raya is a subscription- and application-based dating and networking app originally designed for people in creative industries. Many people on the app live bicoastal lifestyles, so naturally, a handful of celebrities and influencers have been seen on it.
However, tons of normies—who've gone through the mysterious application process and been admitted—are also on Raya, which makes the app even more intriguing. (Like, how were they admitted without that A-list status? That's what was going through my head when I applied, TBH.) “Anytime there's something that seems a little less attainable or unattainable, many people want it all the more,” says Carla Marie Manly, PhD, a clinical psychologist, the host of the Imperfect Love podcast, and the author of Date Smart based in Sonoma County, California.
Meet the Experts: Carla Marie Manly, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, the host of the Imperfect Love podcast, and the author of Date Smart based in Sonoma County, California. Jess Carbino, PhD, is a dating and relationship sociologist who has worked with Tinder and Bumble based in Washington, D.C.
Wondering how you can join in on the famous-adjacent fun? Ahead, learn all about how Raya works, how to get accepted, and, of course, if this dating app is worth the trouble.
What is Raya?
Raya is an exclusive application-based subscription dating and networking app that has historically been “directed at the creative community,” says Jess Carbino, PhD, a dating and relationship sociologist who has worked with Tinder and Bumble, based in Washington, D.C. Consequently, it's common for app users to live in New York or Los Angeles and work in the entertainment industry.
Part of the allure of Raya is that many celebrities have been seen on it, such as Demi Lovato, Channing Tatum, Andy Cohen, Olivia Rodrigo, Drew Barrymore, and others, per Us Weekly. Plus, you’re not really supposed to take screenshots on the app, either—making the Raya experience more private and, theoretically, safer for single celebrities.
In addition to its celebrity demographic, many features make Raya quite different from most other dating apps on the market. For instance, while many dating apps operate through a freemium model—i.e., the app can be used for free, but there’s an option to pay for premium features—Raya requires payment, with the most basic plan costing $24.99. Additionally, most dating apps don’t require people to apply.
Raya is also not heavily location-based, Carbino says—it generates matches based on shared interests instead. “It is predicated on the idea that people who are on this app might be a bit more interested in a bicoastal or a jet-setter lifestyle,” she adds. However, that can make it difficult for anyone who’s seeking a relationship within their own community, Manly notes.
How does Raya work?
The concept is pretty aligned with other dating apps: You create a profile, match with people, and talk to them. Simple enough, right? In my experience, though, the app had a bit of a learning curve—it was honestly hard to figure out how to tell if you matched with anyone because the buttons were hard to understand and there wasn't a ton of text explaining how the app worked logistically. (I'm honestly still not 100-percent sure how the map function works!)
Photo-Based Profiles
Raya is heavily focused on showcasing users' images, says Manly. When you’re viewing profiles, the photos take up pretty much the entire screen, leaving the text on the bottom smaller and more insignificant to the eye. So, if your potential partner's physical appearance is a priority, you’ll definitely find people who meet those standards on Raya, she says.
Of course, when it comes to building any long-term relationship, you’ll want to focus on more than looks, Manly says. What's most important “are matching values, matching priorities, matching agendas in life,” she says. But because of the app’s design, it might be a bit harder to learn about someone’s personality and interests.
Slideshow Format
Another unique feature of Raya is that users can view someone’s profile photos as a slideshow without any text on the page. From a psychological standpoint, however, a slideshow might not be the best way to look through someone’s profile, Carbino says. Take traditional dating apps, for instance, like Hinge and Bumble—their designs weave together photos and text (biographical info, prompts, etc.) throughout someone’s profile.
These types of apps are based on the idea of "thin-slicing," whereby individuals take bite-sized pieces of information and then make decisions in seconds, Carbino says. Even though this format enables app daters to form first impressions of potential partners quickly, “those impressions are relatively stable and fairly consistent with reality.”
However, because Raya functions differently with its emphasis on photos, Carbino doesn't believe that the impressions people make of profiles are necessarily realistic. You can even think of Raya like Instagram, because both apps encourage users to spotlight the best photos of themselves. (While any dating app is a place to showcase your fave pics, Raya feels more like a highlight reel than others.)
Map Feature
Raya also has a map feature where you can see who else around your location is on the app. While it’s nice that this feature values community, there’s a downside as well. Since Raya is inherently more exclusive than a normal dating app, it already has fewer members by default, so the dating pool will naturally be smaller.
Having fewer options can also hinder the process of finding a serious partner because “you may find that you are prone to settling for someone just because of proximity rather than being a really good match,” says Manly.
How To Get On Raya
Unfortunately, there’s no magic formula to getting on Raya since “their application process is relatively opaque,” says Carbino. But here’s what I do know: After you submit your application, there’s reportedly a large vetting community that goes through it, per Manly. And they’re not just admitting celebrities—"they are looking for an eclectic community that has a really nice balance of diversity, of creativity, of gender differences,” she adds.
When it comes to the application itself, Manly’s advice is to be yourself, because if you try to be someone you’re not, it’ll harm you in the short- and long-term, she says.
The Raya Application
The Raya application is pretty standard, asking things like:
First name
Last name
Email address
Date of birth
Instagram handle
Location (both the city you live in, and the city you’re from)
Career industry
Work/occupation
Company (optional)
Instagram Handles
Yes, the Raya application asks for your Instagram handle—which might ultimately play into whether you get accepted or waitlisted. (Carbino has anecdotally heard that you can increase your likelihood of acceptance by having a high amount of followers on social media.) Still, Manly likes this aspect because they are “using their vetting process to get people who are a little more like-minded, creative, collected,” she says. “That often means that you'll find a better match.”
Referrals
As part of the application process, you can ask for a referral from any of your phone contacts who are already on Raya. While a referral can up your chances of getting on the app, according to Carbino, that’s not always the case.
Results
Then, you’ll get your outcome—an acceptance or waitlist message. People typically don’t get rejected, so if you’re waitlisted, your application might just look like it’s pending on the app.
Remember, if you don’t get admitted, that’s completely okay. “If the app doesn't like you for who you are and their committee doesn't see that you're a good fit, it's not a rejection of you,” Manly says. “It is simply them saying, ‘It doesn't seem like you will thrive in this dating community.’”
How much does Raya cost?
Raya has two different membership options: its regular membership and Raya+. With Raya+, you can see who likes you, see more daily recommended profiles, get two times the amount of map and directory results for people near you, receive unlimited likes, and get unlimited travel plans, where you add your destination(s) to your profile so you can link up with locals there.
Raya
Monthly: $24.99 per month
Semi-Annual: $113.99 every six months ($18.99 per month)
Yearly: $155.99 for one year ($12.99 per month)
Raya+
Monthly: $49.99 per month
Semi-Annual: $239.99 every six months ($39.99 per month)
Yearly: $349.99 for one year ($29.16 per month)
The upside of Raya's fees? People who pay for a dating app have a stronger degree of commitment to find a partner because they've made a financial investment in their romantic life, according to Carbino's research. Of course, on the flip side, the app is mainly marketed to those who are willing and have the financial ability to date people in different parts of the world, so “I would really think about the commitment level associated with somebody like that,” Carbino adds.
Who is Raya for?
Before you apply, ask yourself why you’re applying and what’s compelling about the app to you, Carbino suggests. If you’re the creative jet-setter type who’s cool with a long-distance relationship, Raya makes sense as a viable option. However, if you’re a physician in your mid-thirties who wants to meet someone quickly and settle down, it might not be a good fit since you aren’t matched with others in your area, she says.
Whether you should use Raya depends on what you’re looking for and your priorities in life, says Manly. If you want to try a new way of engaging with people—whether for dating or networking—then go for it, she says. “If it feels like a win to you to get into an exclusive club," then that itself can be a little self-esteem boost, Manly adds. “But I would caution anyone about judging your self-worth [and] your lovability by acceptance into any club.”
Because, yes, Raya is something of a status symbol. If you’re really interested in getting accepted to it, the time you spend applying may be better spent reflecting on why you need that external validation, Manly says. From her perspective, the best way to approach dating and ultimately attain the type of relationship you want is in a way that feels good from the inside out—not necessarily on an exclusive dating app.
But hey, if you’re trying to get on Raya for the clout (like I was), then there’s no shame in that, either. “People are excited fundamentally by the idea of being on an app that feels exclusive,” Carbino says. You can always apply, try it for a month or two, and then delete it if you want.
Another important note: Raya *may* seem a bit elitist, but the way it curates its community of like-minded individuals is what everyone does internally when they date anyway, says Carbino. Everyone engages in some form of self-selection process with the goal of finding a potential partner who is similar to them and matches their own standards. But “whether or not an app should be doing it themselves is subject to debate,” Carbino adds.
What’s the best way to use Raya?
If you’re a firm believer that Raya can work for your lifestyle, there are some ways you can maximize your usage to find a partner. Think about your priorities in a potential partner and select criteria that is meaningful to your life, Carbino says. For instance, maybe you want to share similar values, a religion, or a specific level of education with a potential partner. When you're on the app, use the filters in their directory to search for people by their interests, professions, and more based on that criteria.
“With any dating app, and particularly Raya, it's important to stay grounded in who you are and what you want in a relationship—it is easy to get starstruck,” Manly says. When all of the shininess of someone’s beautiful profile photos fades away, you’ll want to make sure you select a long-term partner who you get along with, who you have things in common with, and who is safe, she adds.
Is Raya worth it?
A word to the wise: “What I have heard is for someone who's really seeking a deep connection, it can be underwhelming,” says Manly. “Once you get behind the doors, it can feel as though, ‘Oh yes, a lot of pretty people, a lot of carefully curated images,’” but it might not be deeper than that for someone who is looking for romance.” (I can totally confirm the underwhelming-ness of the app, as well.)
Overall, Raya provides a great way to connect with people all around the world—and maybe even a few celebs in the process. Still, if it’s not really your jam, you can always go back to the O.G. dating apps, or even try and meet someone in the wild.
You Might Also Like
