The rituals of commencement: What we miss when they aren’t there

Remember your last few weeks of high school? Perhaps it involved a senior skip day, maybe a day steeped in tradition at your school where the whole surrounding neighborhood knew that the local seniors on their way to bigger and better things would be cutting loose and having a little bit of a fun around town, or maybe it was your last gathering of friends at your favorite late-night diner for an evening filled with some hijinks?

Whatever it was, it most likely involved a graduation day.

Most years and for most students, a college graduation is the second time in their lives that they will have the commencement experience. Just four years earlier, most students hear their name called, walk across the stage in front of friends, family members or loved ones, and feel that ritualistic sense of conclusion after four years of learning both about the subjects they have been taught and about themselves.

However, this year is different. This year’s graduating seniors did not have the opportunity to experience one of the most important rites of passage in life: their high school graduation.

The COVID-19 pandemic brought challenges and disruptions, both large and small, to all our lives. But for the class of 2020, it meant missing out on the traditional celebrations and ceremonies that mark the end of the high school journey.

No prom, no last day of class, no goodbyes to their favorite teachers — no closure to some of the most formative years of their lives. At best, they had a graduation on Zoom.

Rituals play major roles in our lives

In my position, I have the honor of witnessing the growth and transformation of our students as they voyage through their academic careers. Each year, it is my greatest privilege to stand before our graduating seniors as they prepare to embark on the next chapter of their lives — as that truly is what the meaning of a “commencement” is.

After speaking with students preparing for May’s commencement, the absence of this important high school ritual has left many of our college seniors feeling a sense of loss and longing as they prepare to leave behind the classroom and step into the unknown terrain of adulthood.

Rituals like graduation ceremonies play a crucial role in our lives. They provide structure and meaning, and they help make order in the face of change. They mark important milestones, celebrate achievements and honor traditions. Many rituals are a rite of passage into the next stage of our lives — and when we don't get to experience that rite of passage, it is easy to feel as if one stage of life just blurs into the next.

As the writer and educator Terry Tempest Williams said, “Rituals are the formulas by which harmony is restored.” In other words, they allow us the sense of completion and give us a guiding post for what comes next.

As we approach commencement, I am reminded of the resilience and strength that our graduating seniors have demonstrated throughout their challenging academic careers. Despite the setbacks and the disappointments they have faced, they have persevered with grace and determination, showing a remarkable ability to adapt and thrive in the face of adversity.

And it is important to remember just how much adversity they faced — and the toll it took on them — at a time when they should have been preparing for the excitement of what is next.

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Embrace the power of rituals

As we gather to celebrate the achievements of the Class of 2024, I encourage all graduating seniors to embrace the power of rituals in their lives. Whether it be a simple daily routine, a special ceremony or a meaningful tradition, rituals can provide a sense of comfort, stability and connection in a world that is constantly changing and evolving.

Here at Pace, we understood this profound sense of loss that many students in the Class of 2024 had when they arrived on our campus. We took steps to ensure that their mental health is cared for the same way that their education is.

For everyone who has a family member, loved one or friend who will get to hear “Pomp and Circumstance” for the first time as their name is finally called and they get to stride across a stage and shake hands, I ask that you make a point to make it special for that graduate.

And I urge all graduating seniors to reflect on the lessons they have learned from the challenging times they overcame and the resilience they have demonstrated in the face of such blurred lines.

The college Class of 2024 has shown a remarkable ability to adapt, innovate and overcome obstacles, and I have no doubt that they will continue to do so as they navigate the uncertainties that lie ahead.

Marvin Krislov is president of Pace University, with campuses in New York City and Pleasantville, New York, and a law school in White Plains, New York.

This article originally appeared on NorthJersey.com: High school and college graduations are essential rituals in our lives