These Exes Got Petty Revenge in the Messiest Ways Possible, And You Won't Believe How Far They Went
Reddit user u/pizzzaR2R2 asked the community, "What is the worst thing you've done to an ex?" Many users saw this as an opportunity to share the pettiest revenge they've ever got on an ex (in particular, cheating exes). Here's what they shared:
1."I crapped in her favorite designer purse after she cheated on me."
2."I caught my first husband cheating on me. The car we shared was in my name. I called and had it towed back to our apartment. He came out of his girlfriend's house to find no car. His name wasn't on the car, so he couldn't report it stolen. He came home to the car hidden in the garage, the garage locked (he didn't have a key since he left keys in the car I had towed), and his crap in trash bags on the front lawn. Everything in the trashbags was soaked. I made sure."
3."Early WiFi days. I drove by her apartment during finals week in college and changed her WiFi router's ID and password so she couldn't connect. We broke up because I caught her cheating on me. It was with a guy she got mad at me for being jealous of how much she talked to him. She started dating him right away. Years later, I ran into the guy and he told me she did it to him too, and they had been doing stuff for months before I caught them. He told me she was in a rage about the internet not working when she needed it."
4."My ex had an affair, and she moved in with him pretty much straight away. I went around to pick up my kids, used the toilet, saw their toothbrushes, and left a little pee on them."
5."I knew her Jersey Mike's rewards password. I waited until she built up a lot of points, then went and got myself a free sandwich."
6."I emptied a whole litter tray full of stinking, dirty cat litter all over the inside of the cheating bastard's car. It was everywhere. I can only imagine how hard that was to clean up."
7."I ordered surströmming fish and stuffed it in her curtain hangers after she cheated on me, then poured the remaining juices in her washing machine and left."
8."I let my dog pee on the clothes he left at my house."
9."Petty as hell, but I told her that her favorite designer purse I had bought her was a fake. It wasn't, but I heard she gave it away quickly. Some random person out there has a really nice genuine Saint Laurent bag, which makes me happy."
10."She was having an affair with her boss. I sent an anonymous email to his manager, who I already knew didn't like him, with proof, making it sound like it was from someone within the company. They both ended up getting fired."
11."I threw away every one of his left shoes (just the left). I poured a pound of sugar into his toaster. I put dog crap under the passenger side handle of his truck, so when he opened the door for the girl he was cheating with, he got a handful of poop. I'd do it all again, too."
12."She was behind me in a line at a bakery. Her kid wanted cupcakes, and there were only five left. I brought them all and left."
13."I sent Jehovah's Witnesses and signed him up for Scientology literature."
14."I put glitter in the cat box. It was not super evil, but it was everywhere once the glitter was out of the litter box."
15."Allegedly, I sprinkled instant mashed potatoes all over his front lawn knowing his sprinklers would come on the next morning before he woke up. Allegedly."
16."I found out he was cheating on me, so drove to his parents' house and left my engagement ring with them. No contact after that."
17."We are both lawyers. I found out he cheated on me. I took his lawyer's robes and hid them when I knew he needed them to appear in high court. He had to show up before the judge and explain why he didn't have his robes."
18."I requested $20 from them on Venmo with the subject, 'You owe me a drink for all the annoyances you've caused,' when they tried to reach back out to make amends."
19."I guessed her password and deleted her MySpace."
20."My ex-boyfriend cheated on me multiple times when we were together. He never confessed to it. Either his brothers would tell me or I'd find out from the girls. He would always blame me for cheating. In the last three months of our relationship, he had a new girlfriend, and I didn't find out until later. Anyway, I carved 'cheater' on a pumpkin and put it in front of his house."
21."I was working full-time and taking evening classes, so we didn't spend as much time together, which I guess gave her the green light to hook up with a co-worker. We broke up and they immediately started dating. About a year later, they got engaged. The summer after they got engaged, I ran into her and we talked for a bit. She admitted she still had feelings for me, and I told her I did too. We ended up hooking up that night. I didn't actually have feelings for her anymore, and on my way home, I texted her fiancé. I had his number because he texted me and returned my stuff after the breakup. I told him I just hooked up with her. The engagement was called off and she had to move home. I don't feel bad about it at all."
22."After discovering she was sleeping around while I was at work, I decided to end it. I'm not proud of what I did, but looking back, it does make me laugh a bit. She spent a good amount of money on a nice king-sized bed. I was a welder at the time. You don't come home coal miner-level dirty, but you still come home with black gunk all over. I decided to take the sheets off, and every night after work, I'd roll around the bed or just chill in it with my work uniform on. I'd eventually get clean and sleep on the couch. One day, I came home, and everything was gone, including the bed."
23."I sent a case of Vienna sausages to my ex-husband's new girlfriend (the one he cheated on me with in our bed). I put a note in the box saying I hoped she likes Vienna sausages because she was now stuck with a loser who has a penis that resembles Vienna sausages in size and shape. I think it was one of my finest moments."
24."I replaced the number of the woman he was secretly sending dick pics to with his mom's number in his contacts. Neither had a profile pic, so he was doomed."
25."I dropped off a sealed FedEx box of cat poop and found out he brought it inside, went to work, and then opened it. It smelled bad. He realized it was from me."
26."I may have cleaned the toilet with her toothbrush multiple times after I found out I was being cheated on the whole time we were together. Wild how common cheating is!"
27."I cut off the ends of all his socks, balled them back up, and put them back in his drawer. I also cut the legs off all his pants and the arms off all his shirts. The best, in my opinion, was the chili powder at the bottom of his Fleshlight. Cheating bastard."
28."I chucked prawns all around his house in very difficult-to-reach places after finding out he cheated. I returned a few days later to get something I'd left behind, and it already smelled bad."
29."I took down the website I built for her, and, using the domain I paid for until 2029, put up the screenshots and FB chat transcript of her and my cousin's conversations. It was about two years' worth of them sleeping together regularly. I ended up taking it down when her mom and I had a heart-to-heart conversation about it, which I now know was a two-faced appeal to save face for her daughter. I regret doing that now, but I won't put that stuff back up on her domain name because my word is worth something, unlike her family's."
30."He cheated on me after three years and living together, so I snuck out in the middle of the night, went to a 24-hour grocery store, bought tilapia, and stuffed it all down in the air conditioning vents of his truck. It then sat in the sun for several days before he moved it. You know that had to smell really nice."
31."Keyed 'cheater' on his hood and threw five bottles of glitter inside."
32."I went through his Netflix 'continue watching' section and changed all his shows to the last episode of the last season so that he lost track of his shows and hopefully had some things spoiled for him."
33."He put me down as a character reference. He must have forgotten. I let the organization know he was trash."
34.And: "Before I moved out, I hid 100 tiny plastic ducks in his house. I numbered them so he could keep track. One is located in his ski gear; he doesn't ski anymore. It may be years before he finds them all. At first, I did it because I didn't want him to forget me. Now I'm a bit embarrassed and wish I had just left. The last time I talked to him, I apologized, but he still thought it was cute and funny. I doubt a new partner will, which is the cause of my embarrassment. Oh, well."
Have you ever gotten petty revenge on an ex? Do you have any regrets? Tell us in the comments!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
