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Paulina Porizkova is opening up further about feeling "betrayed" and "blindsided" after a series of vulnerable social media posts.
The 56-year-old supermodel got candid about her "path of recovery" when she posted a tearful selfie alongside a sentimental message to Instagram on Thursday. In it, she shared that she's had experiences throughout her life that have made trust difficult for her. In her most recent post, she's clarifying that her emotions weren't tied to just one event — namely, her relationship with her husband, Cars frontman Ric Ocasek, who removed Porizkova from his will months before his death.
"His betrayal is just one of many in my life, all of which I’m working on to forgive," she wrote about her ex. "Sometimes, I just have a hard time moving forward emotionally when feeling like I’m not worthy of love. And that is a confluence of events in the past, which my husband is only a part of, not the sole perpetrator. I am not blaming him for how I feel today. I’m trying not to blame anyone. Everyone does what they can, and everyone is the hero of their own narrative."
Her latest post is in response to comments she received on Thursday's message, in addition to a follow-up that she wrote on Saturday where she explored her reasoning for opening up about such personal experiences on Instagram, where she has nearly 500,000 followers.
"I’m here because I’m trying to exorcise my shame. I post thoughts and emotions that I’m ashamed of. I am ashamed that I’m am grieving, heartbroken and sad," she wrote at the time. "I’m ashamed of all my vulnerabilities. So I share them. Sharing them is making them less shameful and in return, I gain acceptance of who I am. The authentic me. Not the one I would like to sell you."
Still, as people continue to try to place meaning on her words, the model felt the need to further clarify where all of these shameful feelings are stemming from.
"This post here is just to clarify certain important things I don’t want to be misunderstood," she wrote on Monday. "I loved my husband for almost my entire life. We had more good years than bad, and that’s saying something in the span of being together for 35 years. I love him still."
After sharing the series of candid posts, she also noted that the less positive and filtered content is simply just an attempt to be more "real," rather than ungrateful.
"Please understand that on many days, I’m filled with gratitude and hope and feel strong, and then I can slide into a few weeks of misery," she wrote. "I know this is all absolutely normal. That why I share it. It’s real life. It’s the real me."
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