On August 12, the supermodel posted a to Instagram, along with a lengthy caption about . Many believe the post to be in reference to her deceased husband, Cars frontman Ric Ocasek, who removed her from his will months before he died of heart-related issues.
“When you've been betrayed — promised something, only to have that promise broken without your participation — you were blindsided,” Porizkova wrote at the time. “You trusted someone you loved, and now all love is suspect.”
“A few of my friends accused me of being a narcissist and posting my emotions on IG for so I could get attention and my ass kissed by sycophants,” she explained in the caption of a selfie. “I had to think about it. Am I here to gather sympathy? And what I discovered is really important to me. No. I’m here because I’m trying to exorcise my shame.”
She continued, “I post thoughts and emotions that I’m ashamed of. I am ashamed that I’m am grieving, heartbroken and sad. I am ashamed that I am needy. I am ashamed that I’m aging. I’m ashamed that I can be a judgmental bitch. I’m ashamed I wasn’t the parent I meant to be.”
Porizkova declared that she is “ashamed of all my vulnerabilities,” but that “sharing them” makes them “less shameful.”
“In return, I gain acceptance of who I am,” she wrote. “The authentic me. Not the one I would like to sell you.”
“Right now I feel like I'm in a much stronger position than I have been in a long time,” she explained. “I feel like I'm getting my voice back and reclaiming who I am. My biggest hope for the future is to continue to figure out who I am on my own. I've been a part of a couple for so long that finding out who I am outside of a couple is really hard and really traumatic. I don't like it, but it's like taking cod liver oil — it's good for me.”