How to Master Tricky Social Situations Like an Expert, with Sara Jane Ho
Sara Jane Ho is the etiquette expert you’ve been waiting for. Ho, founder of China’s first etiquette school, the Institute Sarita, host of the Netflix show Mind Your Manners, and author of the book by the same name, is answering some of the biggest and trickiest questions we all need the answers to. Read on for her solve to every dilemma, from what to do when you forget a name (hey—we’ve all been there!) to leaving a conversation like an expert.
Is it okay to ask guests to take off their shoes before coming into my house?
Short answer? Yes. Long answer? Yes, but you should do it at the beginning, right as they walk through the door. Ho has a few lines she likes to use (watch at the 30-second time stamp), but she also has a few tricks up her sleeves—like having slippers at the ready. And if your guest is a fashion maven, it might be a good idea to give them a heads-up before, so the shoes aren’t a critical part of their outfit.
You’ve forgotten someone’s name. Fess up, or pretend you know it?
Ho will never admit that she has forgotten someone’s name—and there’s no need to. According to her, there are actually several different ways to go about this particularly sticky social problem, though it can depend on whether you’re in a group setting or alone. (Spoiler alert: If it’s just the two of you, try asking for their contact information again.)
You get cornered at a party by someone you don’t want to talk to. How can you extricate yourself?
As Ho points out, the great thing is that you’re at a party! Use the other people around you as a buffer. You’ll likely end up chatting with that person for a few minutes—but if you introduce them to someone else at any point, there’s an opportunity to exit quickly and gracefully. It’s not even rude, since you didn’t leave them on their own. Watch Ho’s eloquent dialogue just before the two-minute mark.
You’re talking to someone who has something stuck in their teeth. Should you tell them?
Like with a lot of things, it depends on your relationship. If it’s a good friend, then yes, you should absolutely tell them. Ho says that even if it’s somebody she doesn’t know well, she likes to tell them (because who wants to be talking with something stuck in their teeth?). The key is something she calls sandwiching—watch at the 2:35 time stamp. To sum up, mention it, but don’t focus on it: If you draw too much attention, you run the risk of embarrassing them.
Mind Your Manners
hachettebookgroup.com
$30.00
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