Life and death separated by a thin line

The wind was blowing very hard this morning and the chimes melody was echoing across the front yard. As I glanced out my window, I saw the empty wooden rocking lawn chair swaying back and forth under the maple tree.

The only thing missing in this picture was my wife Sheila sitting peacefully under that tree dotted with those arriving beautiful spring blossoms from the deep sleep of winter to the birth of spring, I was thinking.

It was always an enjoyable resting place for Sheila.

It is indeed somewhat strange too how special memories seem to appear at the most unusual times and places in one’s walk of life.

A short piece behind that yard’s rocking chair sits a fully bloomed and beautiful "bleeding heart" plant placed gracefully into the ground by maybe one who looked into the future.

No finer specimen of this plant has ever looked so pleasing as it does this very spring.

Have you ever had such memories of a loved one who left for the heavens; do you believe they are at another place and time, and visit this realm of the living to keep you company and bring you comfort?

Lao Tzu, a Chinese philosopher and writer, who most believe, was born in the Sixth Century during China’s Spring and Autumn period, is a most interesting character.

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He is supposed to have met Confucius one day and later wrote the Tao Te Ching, his views of being, before retiring into the wilderness. He is considered the founder of Taoism.

Some consider him an "immortal hermit," while others suggest his life and writings are a manufactured story which includes many characters. No true witnesses live today, so we must decide ourselves what to believe and not based on those writings.

But those words attributed from his quill are quite provoking in nature and life, thus, he remains a topic of conversation even in this 21st century.

As I thought about this moment of watching out my window as the empty lawn chair was rocking in the wind, I imagined one of those verses attributed to him in regard to life and death.

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“Life and death are but one thread, the same line viewed from different sides.”

As I wondered about Lao Tzu’s impressions of life and death, I wondered as I was looking out my window at the wind-blown lawn chair, and the bleeding-heart plant as if perhaps my departed loved one was rocking there; perhaps in that lawn chair this very day looking back at me from the other side of that thread.

Nope, that doesn’t seem humanly possible, does it?

But another verse in Lao Tzu’s writings suggest that "those who die without being forgotten get longevity." I suppose he must have contemplated that aspect of "memory" and death himself at one time.

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Tzu also shares from the ink of his quill, that "Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes; resisting them only adds more sorrow and grief for a loved one."

Are you hanging on to that sorrow associated with the loss of a loved one today; it for sure is a heavy weight, and I suspect that loved one would not want those left behind to bear that extra burden of grief.

This journey of life is difficult enough as we often wrestle with things we cannot control. Tzu, suggests like a river, we should flow with the current and accept the future as it takes us downstream.

To resist the current and fight against the inevitable flow of the water is to create stress, pain and exhaustion; one’s physical and mental being will become more challenged as we fight against that current of life.

Many have difficulty dealing with grief and the loss of a loved one, but reality suggests that death is our destination from birth.

Let reality be reality; things are much better when they flow naturally as they do in that stream of water, suggests Lao Tzu.

I remember reading in one of my ancient philosophy courses that:

“Fear of death is not wisdom, since no one knows whether death may be the greater good.”

To grieve night and day and every waking moment is not a healthy or good resolution to the loss of a loved one, and I am reminded of that thought of psychiatrist Kubler Ross:

“Watching a peaceful death of a human being reminds us of a falling star, one of the million lights in a vast sky that flares up for a brief moment only to disappear into the endless night forever.”

And "when someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure.”

May peace be with you.

Pete Waters is a Sharpsburg resident who writes for The Herald-Mail.

This article originally appeared on The Herald-Mail: Life and death separated by a thin line