Jennifer Lopez got rave reviews for her performance at Monday night’s VMAs, but it’s what she said about her boyfriend, Alex Rodriguez, during her acceptance speech for the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award that caught the attention of fans.
“Alex. You’re like my twin soul. We’re like mirror images of each other,” Lopez said. “You know, my life is sweeter and better with you in it because you make me realize that every day, the sky is not the limit — the universe is infinite, and so is what we can accomplish together with love and trust and understanding. There’s so much more to do — to experience — and there is no one I’d rather do it with. You’re my macho baby, and I love you.”
The concept of the couple being “twins” has come up before. In a 2017 interview with Vanity Fair, Rodriguez said that he and his girlfriend are “very much twins.” “We’re both Leos; we’re both from New York; we’re both Latino and about 20 other things,” he added.
But while Lopez talked up the similarities between herself and her partner Monday night, Ariana Grande’s brother, Frankie Grande, was pointing out the differences between his pop star sister and her fiancé, Pete Davidson. “[Davidson is] super chill, and he adores her,” Frankie told Us Weekly. “He is calm. They’re the yin and yang in a way, where they fit so beautifully together.”
There’s a lot of societal hype about the importance of being similar to your partner, but how much does this ultimately matter? Not much, clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, the author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?, tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “It’s not important as much as it is common,” she says. “We are drawn to people similar to us, in background, culture, interests, and values.”
Still, partners don’t need to be carbon copies to make a relationship work, according to David Klow, a marriage and family therapist, the founder of Chicago’s Skylight Counseling Center, and the author of You Are Not Crazy: Love Letters From Your Therapist. “There needs to be a connection,” he tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “Sharing similar values and worldviews can help, yet successful couples that I work with aren’t always similar … they just find a way to stay connected.”
While having similarities in a relationship is generally a good thing, being too alike can also be bad, Klow says. “Different people can create a dynamic that complements one another,” he says. “Two people who are too similar might not create enough optimal tension in the relationship. They might feel too much like buddies and not enough like romantic partners.”
Overall, it’s important for couples to agree on what Durvasula calls “the big-ticket stuff” like values and expectations and to simply get along. “As long as there is respect, empathy, mutuality, kindness, and compassion, you are good to go,” she says. “It doesn’t matter if one hates pizza with anchovies and the other loves it.”
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