Intrusive Thoughts
/in-ˈtrü-siv ˈthȯts/
Did I leave the stove on? Should I steal this shirt instead of paying for it? What would happen if I pushed my partner off this bridge? These aren’t just scary what-ifs—they’re intrusive thoughts, and, don’t worry, we all have them. “They’re part of the everyday human experience,” says Chandler Chang, PhD, a clinical psychologist and founder of Therapy Lab, who defines them as instances “when a ‘random’ thought comes into our awareness.”
Typically, intrusive thoughts are “distressing, odd, or unsettling,” Chang says. They can also occur when someone is extra-worried. Say you’re having sex with your partner and suddenly start thinking about an upcoming family function—does this mean you’re attracted to your cousin? No. You’re probably not recognizing a real fear: that your mom will corner you at the party and ask when you’ll give her grandkids.
Intrusive thoughts can also increase or become problematic when they occur in tandem with certain mental health conditions, including OCD. “Someone with OCD might believe they need to do something to ‘take care’ of the thought,” Chang says. “But in reality, a thought is just a thought. Just because you have it doesn’t mean it’s real or of any consequence.” For perspective, he recommends borrowing a technique from CBT therapy: holding your thoughts lightly. “Question them, laugh at them, observe them.”
In other words, don’t judge yourself for wondering what would happen if you randomly kissed the person next to you or smashed your face into your birthday cake. On the contrary, think nothing of it.
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