Impression Management: How to Influence the Way Others See You

These strategies can help you take control of your image.

Impression management is all of the conscious and unconscious processes that we use to control how others perceive us. It involves actions that often cast us in a favorable light in order to achieve our goals.

"We all engage in purposeful and subconscious behaviors to manage the perceptions that others have of us. This kind of behavior is a normal aspect of everyday behavior in personal and professional settings," explains Nicholas Forlenza, PhD, a psychologist, licensed certified social worker, and founder of Psychological Wellness Partners.

Controlling the impression we leave with others doesn't just help us get what we want—it also influences our interpersonal relationships. Forlenza also notes that being able to manage the impression you leave on others is an essential part of building trust, strengthening bonds, and avoiding conflict.

Good impressions forge friendships, attract romantic partners, and foster professional connections. Such meaningful relationships impact our social health, mental well-being, and career success.

At a Glance

Impressions matter, which is exactly why we spend so much time and energy devoted to conveying a certain type of image. Sociologists and other behavior experts suggest that this is a lot like an actor putting on a performance. But if your social life is a theater, it is important to remember that you are both a performer and an audience member.

You are trying to manage your own image while at the same time interacting with and making judgments about other people’s images. It’s a complex interplay that can have an impact on your relationships, accomplishments, and emotional well-being.

Theories of Impression Management

Sociologist Erving Goffman took a dramaturgical perspective to explain how people manage and evaluate impressions. Social interactions, he suggested, are much like theatrical performances.

In order to form an impression, people craft their performances and engage in social environments as both actors and performers.

At the heart of Goffman's theory were his ideas of the "front stage" and "backstage" self. A person's public persona, or the image they present to others, is their "front stage" self. This can be contrasted with their less formal, more relaxed "backstage self." The backstage self is more authentic, but its something you probably only show in private when you are by yourself or around close friends and family.

Goffman also suggested that people use various techniques to form, maintain, and repair the impressions that they give. We all use various methods to do this, including nonverbal communication, body language, facial expressions, and other signals. How we act, the way we dress, and the signals shape impressions and relationships.

Takeaway

Simply put, Goffman's theory suggests that people engage in performance when they are interacting with other people. The goal of this act is to cultivate the image they hope to convey. It is in private that people act like their genuine, authentic selves.

But our actions alone aren’t the only factors that shape impressions. According to social identity theory, the people we spend time with and the groups we affiliate with also have an essential role in the impression management process.

This theory suggests that group memberships have an important role in impression management. To form positive impressions, people align themselves with certain groups that suit the image they are trying to convey. For example, if you want to convey the impression that you are a competent professional, you might join certain professional or networking groups associated with your values.

Types of Impression Management Behaviors

"Impression management is an important part of many social interactions in order to achieve desired outcomes. Adapting our behavior in this way increases the likelihood of being viewed positively and accepted in various forms of social groups," Forlenza explains.

The tactics we use to form these impressions can vary depending on our needs, the situation, and the audience. There are several key behaviors that people use to control the impression that others form. These behaviors include:

Ingratiation

Ingratiation is all about trying to get approval from others. It involves behaviors like complimenting, flattering, or agreeing with others to encourage people to like you more.

Takeaway

At a job interview, for example, a job candidate might try to ingratiate themselves by expressing admiration for the potential employer's accomplishments.

Such behavior can be genuine or manipulative, depending on what the person doing it is trying to accomplish. If they are trying to get someone to do something for them, it may be manipulative; if they are trying to forge a genuine bond, then it may be authentic.

Intimidation

In some cases, people utilize intimidation to assert power or exert influence over others and shape their perceptions and beliefs. Common ways of doing this involve being assertive, acting aggressively, or even displaying dominance to encourage compliance (or even fear).

Exemplification

Have you ever encountered someone who seems like the epitome of perfection? They might be using an impression management tactic known as exemplification. They go all-out to project an image of perfection. The goal of this type of behavior is to win the admiration of others. 

For example, they might seem to have the perfect work ethic, the highest moral standards, and the most flawless image–which goes a long way toward making them a role model. This tactic can sometimes work, but it can sometimes backfire if the image people project seems phony or inauthentic.

Supplication

Revealing weaknesses and appealing to people's sympathies can also be a way to influence others' impressions. In such cases, people might present themselves as needy, helpless, vulnerable, or dependent. The goal is to tug at your heartstrings, leaning on people's natural empathy to ensure they're willing to lend a helping hand. 

Takeaway

It can be an effective tool when people need a little extra help. Plus, it fosters prosocial behaviors that can be important in positive interpersonal dynamics.

Assertiveness

If you are trying to convey the impression of confidence, knowing when to speak your mind and assert your opinion can be particularly important. Assertiveness means stating your opinions and setting boundaries calmly and confidently. It can also involve personal storytelling and self-promotion.

This approach helps people feel empowered and lets people know you are self-assured and willing to take charge when needed.

For example, while negotiating a contract with your employer, you might use assertive behaviors–like making eye contact, actively listening, and calmly asserting non-negotiable points–to convey your boundaries and ensure that people see you as confident and competent.

Self-Monitoring

Monitoring and regulating your emotions and reactions is critical to effective impression management. Self-monitoring involves reading social cues and attuning your behavior to suit the situation and achieve your goals. It requires a high level of self-regulation and emotional intelligence, which helps you read the room and respond in ways that suit your needs.

For example, when interacting with others in a social setting, you might match your demeanor and communication to match the demands of the situation. Because you can clearly recognize the tone and image you need to strike, you can create a favorable impression in that particular situation.

Self-Presentation

Self-presentation is a specific component of impression management that focuses on the ways people present themselves to others. It involves putting out signals conveying the image we hope to communicate in order to get social approval and positive feedback from others.

Much of this behavior is conscious, but unconscious forces can also shape the impressions that we give to others.

Factors Influencing Impression Management

Factors that can influence impression management include:

Self-Esteem

If you want to present yourself as confident and assured, it often involves having a strong sense of self-esteem. People with good self-esteem are able to assert themselves in social situations, while people with low self-esteem may come off as more guarded and defensive.

Personality Traits

Personality traits and tendencies influence how you present yourself to others. For example, extroverted people tend to be more outgoing and gregarious in social situations, while introverted people are more cautious and reserved.

Social Roles

Our roles in different situations also affect the impression behaviors we use to manage how others perceive us. You might adopt different strategies as you interact with your friends versus how you respond to your colleagues. In many cases, the impression we strive to form is influenced by the norms associated with different social roles.

Motivation

We also modify our actions based on what we hope to accomplish in a situation. How you present yourself to your friends will probably differ from how you present yourself at a job interview. You adjust your impression management strategies based on whether you are trying to win approval, build rapport, convey competence, or establish authority in a situation.

Audience Characteristics

We also tailor the image we present based on our audience. If you are more familiar with the audience, you are more likely to act informally and casually. More formal situations, on the other hand, dictate a more cautious approach based on that audience's expectations and goals.

Cultural Factors

Your cultural background also influences aspects of self-presentation and impression management. Individualistic cultures prize conveying autonomy and self-reliance, while collectivist cultures emphasize expressions that support group harmony.

Impression Management in Everyday Life

We utilize impression management as part of our everyday life in many different ways. In our day to day relationships, it helps us form a consistent image to help the people around us understand who we are. Some other ways that impression management functions in everyday life include the following examples:

• First impressions: You might engage in behaviors like smiling, making good eye contact, and listening actively to help people form a positive first impression and view you as friendly and likable.

• Job interviews: You might intentionally adjust your behavior to portray yourself as competent, confident, and experienced. By projecting a professional image, you are able to highlight the abilities and achievements that make you an ideal candidate.

• Social media: You might curate your social media presence to convey a specific image. This can include the type of comments you post, the pages and people you follow, and the posts you choose to like and share.

• Public speaking: When presenting in front of a group, you may adapt your behavior and speech to ensure that people form the right impression of what you have to say. This can include using body language, speech structure, and persuasive tactics to ensure people remember your argument.

• Social identity: By managing the way we present ourselves to others, we are able to align ourselves with certain norms, values, and groups that help reinforce our identity and create a sense of belonging.

• Politics and media: Politicians, actors, and other public figures also utilize impression management to shape how the public perceives them. This is done through tactics like strategically communicating information, framing narratives to suit their image, garnering public trust, and espousing certain values.
  

Impression Management in Professional Settings

"Impression management is essential in professional settings as well, where such skills increase the likelihood of obtaining employment, advancing in careers, and improving professional relationships," Forlenza says.

In competitive work settings, making a positive impression on your colleagues, supervisors, clients, and extended network can make or break your efforts to advance your career. If people perceive you as effective, competent, and trustworthy, you may be more likely to be promoted and achieve other career benefits.

Managing your self-image also influences your professional relationships. Creating a positive impression on co-workers, employers, and customers can lead to more opportunities for further career growth and impact leadership success.

Tips for Managing Impressions Effectively

What can you do to help ensure you leave a good impression on others in both personal and professional settings?

Learn More About the Organization

Forlenza suggests that you should start by familiarizing yourself with the a company's culture and value system. In professional settings, it's important to ensure that your behaviors and decision-making align with these aspects of the organization.

Be Authentic

"Leaving a good impression is important but more importantly that you are being authentic in the impression you are leaving. People will feel more comfortable and feel a real connection when you are acting like your true self," explains Abbey Sangmeister, MS.Ed, LPC, ACS, a therapist, burnout coach, and founder of Evolving Whole.

Different situations call for different behaviors, but being genuine in how you present yourself can lead to the best outcomes.

Practice Active Listening

Forming the right impression requires being abe to read the room and understand what other people expect and need in any given situation. That means paying attention to others and using active listening to hear and understand what they are trying to communicate.

"It is also important when you are meeting people to actively listen to them, not focus on only selling your services or product, and to ask how you can support their endeavors," Sangmeister says.

Present Yourself Professionally

Forlenza notes that you should make sure that your impression matches the tone and expectations of the setting. This means dressing appropriately and maintaining a professional appearance.

"Basic workplace behaviors such as punctuality, reliability, and respect towards coworkers are important for managing the perceptions others have of us," he explains.

Communicate Effectively

Forlenza and Sangmeister both note that effective interpersonal communication is a critical component of impression management. This means listening to others, communicating clearly, and taking a genuine, empathetic approach when interacting with others in the workplace.

Forlenza also recommends staying open to feedback and staying motivated to keep learning. Showing that you are a team player who is open to ongoing growth can help others form a more positive impression of you in the workplace.

The Psychological Effects of Impression Management

Managing the impressions we leave on others can have a range of psychological and social effects:

Self-Concept

The process of cultivating and projecting an impression can influence our self-concept and self-esteem. When we form positive impressions, we are more likely to get positive feedback and have rewarding social experiences, both of which bolster how we see ourselves.

Takeaway

Negative experiences, on the other hand, can undermine self-esteem. When we fail to create a good impression, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt.

Social Anxiety

For some people, worrying about the impression they leave on others can be extremely anxiety-provoking. Such anxiety can become particularly severe during high-stakes situations, like when a person is interviewing for a new job or speaking in public. The fear of negative evaluations can lead to feelings of social anxiety that can become debilitating at times.

Stress

Constantly monitoring your behavior in order to forge a specific impression can be exhausting, especially if the image you are trying to create contrasts with who you are in private. For example, if you are an introvert trying to act like an extrovert, you might find yourself feeling fatigued and overwhelmed when you have to spend a lot of time in social situations without any time to yourself.

This can lead to feelings of chronic stress and burnout that can ultimately take a toll on your health and well-being.

Cognitive Dissonance

Impression management can create feelings of cognitive dissonance in cases where your public self conflicts with your private self. You might find yourself feeling dissatisfied that your own image of your ideal self doesn't match up with how others see you. Or you might feel inauthentic if your public perception is wildly different from who you are in your private life.

Takeaway

One study found that impression management could negatively affect life satisfaction. While maintaining impressions plays a major role in social functioning, the researchers suggested that it can undermine one's personal sense of control and contribute to feelings of loneliness.

Impression Management and Deception

Managing the impression we give to others is usually about presenting ourselves favorably. This may not always present the full picture—it's not necessarily dishonest, but people often take steps to disguise their flaws so people don't get a bad impression.

Explainer

However, people sometimes use impression management to intentionally manipulate or mislead others. This may involve presenting false or deceptive information as a way to avoid negative consequences to for personal gain.

Ways that impression management can be used deceptively include:

• Strategically presenting information to downplay flaws, fabricate information, or conceal negative aspects of a person's behavior.

• Misleading or lying by engaging in exaggeration, embellishment, or omission.
  

Unfortunately, using deception to manage impressions erodes trust and hurts social relationships. When people sense that someone is being deceptive or dishonest, suspicions and distrust are generated, making communication harder.

Takeaway

Research suggests that such behaviors can also negatively affect a person's professional performance and success. One study found that using ingratiation and self-promoting behaviors in the workplace can deplete self-control resources. When this happens, it can lead to harmful, counterproductive behaviors.

Keep in Mind

Impression management is a complex process that involves many different aspects of your self-concept, personality, social behavior, and interpersonal relationships. Forming good impressions is vital for success, but maintaining impressions that are inauthentic or that conflict with your true values can lead to stress, conflict, and other problems.

In order to form impressions and develop relationships that support your well-being, strive to cultivate a strong emotional awareness that allows you to adapt to the situation while still remaining true to who you really are.

Read the original article on Verywell Mind.