I'm Pretty Much The Dumbest Guy On Earth So These 60 Absolutely Incredible Pictures Put My Brain In A Blender Immediately After I Saw Them Last Month
1.This is what Mount Rushmore looks like "zoomed out":
It's almost cute. Our adorable l'il disembodied presidents.
2.This is what a solar eclipse looks like from space:
Anyone else experience totality? That was cool.
3.This is what the cabin of a passenger plane looked like in the 1930s:
Can we PLEASE bring back candalbras in planes? That's all I'm asking.
4.This is what the skeleton of the tallest man who ever lived, 8'1" Robert Wadlow, looked like:
The Wadlow family should get a piece of that sweet Home Depot 12 foot skeleton money.
5.There's a pink lake named Lake Hillier in Australia:
It's pink because of a whole bunch of red-colored microorganisms in the lake. Ain't that something.
6.Here's what it looks like from space:
7.Clouds can be square:
Clouds: what can't they do?
8.If you win a car on The Price Is Right you get a special little license plate cover:
I never knew how much I needed something I didn't have until I saw this.
9.This is what the tank underneath the pumps at a gas station looks like:
Now I need to see the tank that holds all the Slurpee juice.
10.This is what a living sand dollar looks like compared with a dead one:
So the next time you're on the beach whippin' a sand dollar into the ocean... just remember... that dollar had a MOTHER.
11.Owls have big ol' long legs:
Check out the gams on Birdie.
12.This is what a 3-year-old Albert Einstein looked like:
Unmistakable Eistein mug on our friend Al, there.
13.This is what Nicolas Cages' father, August Coppola, looked like:
For some reason, it never occurred to me that Nic Cage could possibly have a dad.
14.This is how big (or small) France is compared to the United States:
It's barely a Nebraska and a Kansas long.
15.This is how long it took to travel to different parts of the United States in 1800:
I don't know if my phone can store the six weeks of downloaded podcasts I'd need to get to Illinois.
16.This is what a volcano erupting looks like from an airplane:
Folks, it might have also been like what my college dorm room looked like from space.
17.Traffic lights are almost the size of a full grown human:
But they cannot do many things humans can do. Only be as tall as them.
18.This is what the shadows during an eclipse look like:
Neat!
19.This is what first class on a plane in 1960 looked like:
Okay... but... do they get free pretzels?
20.This is what a pick-up truck from 1985 looks like compared to the behemoths that are modern pick-up trucks:
21.This is how big Pluto and its moon Charon are compared to the Earth:
You know what? I'm glad that puny little dwarf planet doesn't count as a planet anymore.
22.This is what a Fanta from Europe looks like compared to one from the United States:
Much less orange... or is it?
23.This is what store bought strawberries look like compared to strawberries bought at a farmer's market:
Shout out to farmers and their ability to make red things more... red.
24.This is what the editing timeline for the movie Dune 2 looks like:
You gotta think it must have taken at least three... maybe four hours to get that done.
25.Back when people were so inclined to do so, this was one way to board and travel by blimp:
Thanks, but no thanks.
26.Strawberries, my friend, strawberries can be very, very big:
Would love it if a cartoon caterpillar came out of one of these. Would absolutely love it.
27.This is how much it cost to go to Disneyland in 1997:
In case you were wondering how much it cost to go to Disneyland in 1997.
28.This is the first computer Apple ever developed:
It looks nothing like an apple. Not even like an orange.
29.The Great Red Spot on Jupiter is shrinking:
According the NASA, "Some unknown activity in the planet's atmosphere may be draining energy and weakening the storm, causing it to shrink."
30.This is a champagne inspector wearing a champagne-inspecting mask in case of any champagne-related explosions:
I need a champagne-inspecting mask NOW.
31.This is a picture of the construction workers who built the Chase Manhattan Bank posing with their work:
Me, personally? I'm getting in the second row for the big "stand on the edge of a building" picture.
32.This is what the grave site of President James Monroe looks like:
A little dramatic, James... but I'm not here to harsh any good feelings.
33.This is what the steering wheel of an F1 race car looks like:
Looks simple enough.
34.This is what a canal in Venice looks like completely drained:
Sound off in the comments how much money it would take for you to take a big ol' gulp of Venice canal water.
35.Duck eggs can be black:
This is the egg of a Cayuga duck. Shout out to all the Cayuga ducks in the world. Keep being you.
36.For two brief years, 1934-5, the United States issued a $100,000 bill with Woodrow Wilson's big ol' mug on it:
It never circulated publicly but if it did I would use it to buy 100,000 Arizona iced teas.
37.This is a list of the causes of death of everyone who died in London in 1632:
Me, personally? I'm dying from "Planet."
38.Pictured here is a proto-type space suit, the Hardsuit AX-3, developed in the 1970s:
It was made to be much more mobile than contemporary space suits. Me-thinks someone doth watcheth a bit too much 2001: A Space Odyssey.
39.This is how giant Galapagos tortoises sleep:
That's a lot of tortoise.
40.This is the Dale Creek Bridge, an bridge built in Wyoming in the 1800s that was so rickety that trains had to slow down to 4 miles per hour to cross it safely:
My friends, you'll have to miss me with the rickety ol' 19th century bridge.
41.This is selection of prosthetic face parts designed for World War I veterans:
Me, personally? Can't say I'm a fan of war.
42.Bookworms are not only REAL, this is the kind of damage they can do to a poor, defenseless book:
Just plain disrespectful.
43.This is what the fang of a ball python looks like after it bites you:
Smaller than I would have thought but, unfortunately for this python, you'll have to miss me with that.
44.This is what the control panel of the Spirit of Saint Louis, the plane Charles Lindbergh used on his historic flight across the Atlantic Ocean, looked like:
Truly like what a 3rd grader would draw as the controls of a plane.
45.And this is the chair Charles Lindbergh sat on for his entire 33 hour flight:
Folks, my rear-end would be barkin' after that trip.
46.While we're at it, here's a diagram of his entire plane, for reference:
Looks... comfy!
47.Elephant seals are really, really, really, really big:
This giant boy here is Tristan the sea elephant. Folks, do we stan Tristan?
48.There are four miles of tunnels 72 feet underneath Tokyo designed to prevent the city from flooding. The whole system is absolutely huge:
It cost two billion dollars to build.
49.This is one very, very, very safe example of what a baby's car seat used to look like in the 1950s and 60s:
50.Here it is in action:
Looks great to me. Totally safe and not making my palms sweat at all.
51.This is the world's oldest surviving photograph, taken by Nicéphore Niépce in 1827:
It's called "View from the Window at Le Gras." It's, well, a view from a window.
52.Here's what the original, un-enhanced world's oldest picture looks like today:
53.This was the scene aboard the ship The Queen Elizabeth as it brought soldiers back home to New York after World War II ended:
I hate to say it... but imagine having to use the bathroom? Nightmare.
54.This is the first prize winning can of string beans from September 1945:
Can we get some dang RESPECT for the first prize beans?
55.Eleven days in October had to be skipped after the Gregorian calendar was adopted in 1582:
A wise person on Reddit hipped the internet to the fact that if you scroll back in your phone long enough, you can see it for yourself.
56.This smiling fellow is a lab technician hired to observe couples kissing in order to gauge the durability of lipstick:
A real normal job.
57.Tooth crowns don't shine under blacklight like normal teeth:
Uranium used to be added to dental crowns to match the natural glow of real teeth. It is not used anymore.
58.This is what a egg that's missing a yolk looks like:
I miss that yolk already.
59.This picture straight out of Harold Potter is of the former Cincinnati Public Library, built in 1874 and demolished in 1955:
60.And, finally, a lot of things had to go exactly right for you to be here:
You're special! Not as special as me, but you know. You get it.
