These Funny Father's Day Quotes Will Make the Whole Family Smile
By default, dads are some of the funniest people in the world. (Dad jokes are a thing for a reason!) One can only dream of the day they master the field of corny puns like fathers do. However, you can get your practice in with Father's Day coming up. As you battle your dad at his own game, it could also be worth reading these funny Father's Day quotes to him. He may appreciate it more than you know.
Don't worry, though—because these aren't just ordinary uplifting quotes you'll want to put on a Father's Day card (though you definitely could). These funny Father's Day quotes are a bit witty, silly, and totally relatable. This quote by Jimmy Kimmel is a great example: “I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps.” Others are those you can use to poke fun at your dad! Like this quote by Jerry Seinfeld: “You can tell what was the best year of your father's life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” Plus, some of these will also make perfect Father's Day messages, too. (Something not too emotional, but also not too sarcastic is always perfect for things like that.)
Spread the joy of laughter with Dad and the rest of the family by reading these aloud on his special day.
Here are more ways to have fun on Father's Day:
Jim Gaffigan
“Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.”
Chris Martin
“Men should always change diapers. It’s a very rewarding experience. It’s mentally cleansing. It’s like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes.”
Rodney Dangerfield
“Me and my dad used to play tag. He’d drive.”
Clayton Lesser
“I gave my father $100 and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.’ So he went out and bought a present for my mother.”
Conan O’Brien
“Buying your kid a goldfish is a great way to teach them about responsibility for 24 to 36 hours.”
Connie Schultz
“My sisters and I can still recite Dad’s grilling rules: Rule No. 1: Dad is in charge. Rule No. 2: Repeat Rule No. 1.”
Al Unser
“Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn’t teach me everything he knows.”
Jimmy Fallon
“Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.”
Jim Gaffigan
“I have a lot of kids. I say a lot because I don’t know the real number.”
Martin Mull
“Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”
Stephen Colbert
“Never underestimate kids’ tenacity. Raising a child is like wrestling a small but relentless opponent.”
Elton John
“I just sit there and make up songs and sing to [my son] in gibberish. I’m very good at gibberish now.”
Steve Martin
“A father carries pictures where his money used to be.”
John Wilmot
“Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories.”
Bob Odenkirk
“My daughter got me a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.”
Richelle E. Goodrich, “Slaying Dragons”
“The best fathers have the softest, sweetest hearts. In other words, great dads are real marshmallows.
Taye Diggs
“How come my 3-year-old son knows every species and genus of dinosaur and I can’t even remember my home phone number?”
Dave Barry
“Remember: What Dad really wants is a nap. Really.”
Jerry Seinfeld
“Having a 2-year-old is like having a blender without a lid.”
Jim Gaffigan
“My 4-year-old son gave me a handmade card for Father's Day. Maybe for Christmas I'll draw him a picture of some toys.”
Tim Russert
“The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.”
Jerry Seinfeld
“You can tell what was the best year of your father's life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.”
Ryan Reynolds
“Being a dad isn’t just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word hero.”
H. Jackson Browne
“Life doesn’t come with an instruction book — that’s why we have fathers.”
Jimmy Kimmel
“I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps.”
Lin Manuel Miranda
“Good parenting means investing in your child’s future, which is why I am saving to buy mine a hoverboard someday.”
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
“A man knows he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.”
Ashton Kutcher
“The first one, I almost became a doula. I was reading every book. I was ready. This one I haven’t done anything. I’m like, ‘Well, we didn’t break the first one.”
Reed Markham
“Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.”
Neil Patrick Harris
“You have to be adaptable because they consistently keep changing. They’ll do something that blows your mind and then they’ll spit all their food on the carpet.”
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