Have You Found Your Kindred Spirit? 3 Telltale Signs of This Cosmic Connection

Laura Beck
·4 min read

Two women who are kindred spirits laughing together

Have you ever met someone and instantly felt like you've known them forever? As if your souls were speaking to each other? These deep connections are called "kindred spirits"—AKA people who just seem to "get" you on a spiritual level. 

Experts spoke with Parade to share what kindred spirits are all about, how to spot them and whether you should marry one. Plus, they help us understand these soulful bonds, shedding light on these mystical, powerful friendships.

Related: Making New Friends as an Adult Isn’t Easy, but Luckily, We Have 102 Expert-Backed Ways To Do Just That

What Are Kindred Spirits?

"A kindred spirit is someone you feel a deep bond and similarity with," explains LA-based relationship expert, astrologer and author Bethany Nicole. "It is reminiscent of the Emily Dickinson quote: 'Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same.' It is a close connection that feels familiar, close and even like home." 

Tami Zak, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Grow Therapy, also weighs in, saying, "Kindred spirits are those people in our life who we feel most seen and gotten by."

According to Zak, these connections can happen instantly, like "when you're sitting in a new group of people and something odd or off-putting is said by someone and you catch a stranger or acquaintance's eye and, without needing to say it aloud, burst out in uncontainable laughter because you both are thinking the same exact thing." 

If you have this unspoken bond with someone new, they might be a kindred spirit.

Related: How To Nurture Friendships Over Age 50, According to Psychologists

3 Signs of a Kindred Spirit

How do you know you've found your kindred spirit? Nicole outlines three telltale signs:

1. Instant Bonding

It's like "love at first sight" for friends—an instant sense of familiarity beyond the length of time you've known them.

2. Deep Understanding

You connect on a deeper, more soulful level than with most people. Your worldviews align, and it's reassuring to feel "not so alone."

Related: Kick Boredom to the Curb Thanks to These 75 Creative Things To Do With Friends

3. Shared Scenarios

Often you've had similar life experiences and share values, passions and motivations. You just "get" each other.

Zak also describes the qualities of these cosmic connections: "Kindred spirit friendships may not last a lifetime. I believe there are also kindred spirit friends who are only in your life for a short time but, in that time, they helped you feel deeply understood, valued and known."

So even if the friendship itself doesn't endure, it still leaves an imprint on our hearts. As Zak explains, "To have this experience with just one person or several people in your lifetime is to receive a special and unique kind of nourishment."

Related: 77 Best Friendship Songs Ever to Celebrate, Serenade and Dance to With Your BFF

Is a Kindred Spirit a Soulmate?

While kindred spirits connect deeply like romantic soulmates, they're often platonic, says Nicole. "A soulmate is a romantic partner with whom you share a deep affinity, and you feel that you know well, often without knowing how you know. You may have shared past lives, or maybe the fit is just cosmically perfect."

Related: 120+ Instagram Captions That Perfectly Sum Up Your Friendship With Your Bestie

But profound friendships can be soulmates too. "Creating a partnership based on deep connection and friendship can lead to romance," Nicole explains. "It will be comfortable, deep and meaningful."

Sometimes, the universe brings us lovers, and sometimes, cosmic BFFs. Either way, our souls rejoice at finding their long-lost sisters and brothers! As Lucy Maud Montgomery famously wrote in Anne of Green Gables: "Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world."

Related: OK, So, Twin Flames Are *Not* Actually the Same as Soulmates—Here's How To Tell the Difference

Should You Marry a Kindred Spirit?

Again, kindred spirits can refer to friends as well as partners. So, if you're pondering wedded bliss, it's recommended to marry someone with whom you share this particular connection.

"The person you marry should definitely be a kindred spirit," advises Shamanic teacher and spiritual healer Dr. Jonathan Dubois. "A spouse is more than just a lover and co-parent. They are a companion, friend and fellow traveler. Marriage means not only cohabiting, but looking out for the emotional and spiritual interests of each other. It helps lighten the load significantly if the other person shares interests, sensibilities, values and is aligned in values."

So while passion and attraction have their place, shared worldviews and motivations make for smoother travels through life's wild ride. And who better to help carry your baggage than someone who just gets you? Marrying your cosmic bestie sounds pretty ideal.

At the end of the day, kindred spirits offer a rare gift: the blessing of feeling utterly known and understood. Their spirits seem to whisper to ours: "You are not alone." And in this big, chaotic world, connections like that mean everything.

Next: 'Encourage One Another and Build Each Other Up'—30 Powerful Prayers for a Friend

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