What Is the Fire Truck Game and Why Is It Getting So Much Buzz on Social Media?

Parents might want to have a conversation with their kids about this one.

Fact checked by Sarah Scott

Whether it's "spin the bottle," "truth or dare," or the "lipstick game," every generation seems to have trending games through which tweens and teens push boundaries as they begin to explore sexuality.

The latest incarnation of these not-so-innocent games is known as "the fire truck game." It's been around for at least a decade, but it's been generating a great deal of buzz on social media in recent weeks.

For those not yet familiar with the game, here's the gist: A boy puts his hand on a girl's lower thigh. The boy's hand is the so-called "fire truck," and the game involves the boy "driving" that truck up the girl's leg. The girl, meanwhile, can say "stop sign" if she begins to feel uncomfortable with just how far the "fire truck" has traveled up her leg.

But here's the catch, the boy may respond: "Sorry, fire trucks don't stop at signs" and his hand continues going up the girl's leg, potentially all the way up to her crotch.

More than a few adults have taken to social media to express concern and raise awareness about "the fire truck game." Among them, a mom named Jinny who goes by the name @the.funny.nurse online discusses the game in a video posted to Tik Tok and it has since garnered more than 11,000 comments.

"PSA to parents of children in junior high: My 11-year-old daughter just informed me that the boys are playing a game called 'the fire truck game,'” begins the Funny Nurse, who goes on to suggest that the emergence of the game may be an opportunity for a learning moment with kids—boys and girls alike—through which parents can teach concepts of consent and personal boundaries.

Having such conversations is especially important because "fire truck" is not likely to be the only "sexualized game" your child will encounter as they grow up, says Instagram user Kathleen Hema, who also posted a video about the game.

Hema, who has a Masters in public health and specializes in helping parents have age-appropriate sex talks with kids, says "fire truck" is one of many "sexualized games" children experiment with. She recommends in her Instagram reel that parents take the opportunity to build their children's critical thinking skills, ensuring that kids are aware of such games, what they entail, and how to make healthy decisions for themselves.

How to Talk To Your Kids About Sexualized Games

Having discussions with kids about complex and weighty subjects can be intimidating for parents. But experts offer a variety of tips to help kick off these talks and make them less daunting for both parent and child, particularly when it comes to sexualized games, bodily consent, and boundaries.

Use a non-judgemental tone

Caroline Danda, PhD, a licensed psychologist and co-author of the book From Surviving to Vibing: Tips & Tricks for Tweens, Teens, & Young Adults advises broaching the topic with an attitude of curiosity, not judgment.

"For example, you could say 'Hey, I heard someone was talking about a TikTok video warning about the dangers of 'the fire truck game.' Is this something you or your friends are talking about?" says Danda.

Using this type of approach to open the discussion can make it feel less intimidating and parents can then explain what they know about the game and ask the child's opinion.

"In this case, the parent plays the part of the uninformed, looking to their tween or teen to offer information as the expert," adds Danda.

Offer observations, don't interrogate

Children often respond better to observations and statements rather than questions that may be misinterpreted as interrogation, Danda says.

"Parents can share their perspectives about the game by saying things like 'Here’s my take on it,' or 'This brings to mind…' and then invite your child to share their ideas by saying, 'I’d love to hear your thoughts.'

Keep it short

Tweens and teens may tune out after a few sentences or want their chance to chime in. With this in mind, Danda suggests parents keep their comments brief, which allows for more of a back-and-forth discussion and prevents the pitfall of the discussion from turning into a lecture.

"Just because a conversation is brief doesn’t mean it does not have an impact," she says.

Explaining Consent and When a Game Crosses the Line

It is certainly developmentally appropriate for adolescents to hold curiosity about the opposite sex's body, as well as about their own sexuality, says Mackenzie Kerber, the founder and clinical director at Minnesota-based Apricity Counseling and Wellness and host of Just Don't Eff Them Up, a podcast for parents. "The fire truck game" is likely a response to such curiosity, she says.

During developmental phases when kids may be engaging in such games to explore sexual curiosity, Kerber underscores the importance of education from adults.

"Instead, we as parents and caregivers, should offer developmentally appropriate sex ed so we can create a safe space for our children to learn about bodies and sex," explains Kerber. "During such sex ed talks or classes, we can also educate our children on consent—both asking for consent and setting boundaries around consent—and around saying 'no.'"

Without proper education, children will continue to create games like "fire truck," which often take place at the expense of vulnerable peers, adds Kerber.

To help kids navigate the idea of consent, parents should begin by emphasizing to kids (no matter what their age) that it's important to "trust their instinct" when something doesn't feel right.

"Parents should teach their kids to listen to their gut feeling and remove themselves from any situation that makes them feel uncomfortable," Danda says. "Encourage children to listen to that discomfort, even if someone wants to keep it a secret or says it’s not a big deal, they should share what happened with a trusted adult."

Empower children to speak up for themselves in situations that feel uncomfortable and emphasize that no one has the right to touch another person without their consent, adds Najamah Davis, a psychotherapist with New Jersey-based ND Counseling Services.

"Parents should explain to their children that they have the right to say no to physical contact, including games like 'the fire truck game,'" explains Davis. "Children need to understand that they should never feel pressured or forced to engage in physical activity."

Finally, don't shy away from explaining what constitutes sexual assault, adds Davis.

"Parents should be honest and transparent with their children about what sexual assault is," says Davis. "Children need to know that any unwanted sexual contact is not acceptable and is against the law."

The Importance of Talking to Both Boys and Girls

As "fire truck" and other such games make their rounds, it's often young girls who are the focus of concern. But Kerber stresses the importance of parents having discussions with both young girls and boys about critical topics like consent and sexual assault.

"Too often I am hearing parents asking how they should keep their girls safe from 'the fire truck game,'" says Kerber. "But why aren't we talking to our boys about this?"

"Developmentally, adolescents are still learning about the gray area of boundaries," Kerber adds. "We need to talk to our children, no matter their gender, about safe touch, consent, and what qualifies as assault."

Any unwanted touch can leave someone holding trauma in their body, says Kerber, and a game like "fire truck" has the potential to create a trauma response in a young child's body that lives with them for years to come.

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