I Cut Lines All the Time. Isn’t It Human Nature?

The first time I cut a line, I wasn’t really thinking about it. I was in Las Vegas on vacation and had come across a book signing for Suzanne Somers’ Ageless: The Naked Truth About Bioidentical Hormones. I had a little bit of a connection to Somers. A few years before, in the early aughts, I was editor in chief of the American Breast Cancer Guide, and Somers gave us an exclusive cover story about how she’d treated her breast cancer with a mistletoe extract that was not FDA-approved, instead of chemotherapy.

Determined to meet her, I walked to the front of the line. “Hi—I have to say hello to Suzanne because I was the editor in chief of a magazine she was in. I’ll only take a minute.” The woman grimaced but let me through.

Suzanne was gracious. She remembered being in the magazine because at the time, no other consumer publication had wanted to cover her because of her controversial medical treatment (which, decades later, remains controversial). She insisted on signing a book for me and gave me a hug, providing positive reinforcement for my little bit of bad behavior.

But why had the person I’d cut in front of let me do it? People are just unlikely to make a big deal about someone cutting a line, even if they feel irked. I think cutting at the front of the line also helped: The woman I stepped in front of was about to get her booked signed anyway. If I had picked a different “point of intrusion” at the middle or end of the line, whoever I had cut in front of would feel less optimistic about her chances of getting in.

Also, when I asked to cut the line, I used the word because, which can have persuasive powers. A famous study published in 1978 showed that giving a reason is the reason people will let you cut ahead of them in line. In the experiment, completed at the City University of New York, a researcher tried different tactics for cutting ahead of someone to use a copy machine; saying “because I’m in a rush” or even simply “because I have to make copies” increased their chances of being let through. Chances improved as well when the person asking to cut in line was a woman. The odds also increase if you show that you require minimal effort or less time (I did that too). That’s why the words “I have a quick question” can work to cut the line at a store or a bank.

I kept my newfound psychological secret to myself for a while. Dealing with infertility in midlife kept me mostly at home or at scheduled doctor’s visits. Then, two years later, I was (finally) pregnant. At 39 weeks, we were driving furiously to get to the hospital. The exit lane off the highway was backed up a mile. I looked at my husband, at the traffic and my belly, felt one contraction, then another … then, a few minutes later, another, which racked my body, and said, “Cut the line.” (OK, maybe I yelled it.) So he cut right in front of the swath of cars and got off the highway without incurring even one retaliatory honk. And 48 hours later, my daughter was born.

And yes, we have done it since.

I’ve talked to people about it over the years, and most tend to agree that they would let someone with one item go ahead of them in the supermarket but that they would draw the line at more than a few items. Giving a medical reason also helps earn sympathy: Think of the mom with a baby whose diaper is leaking, the person about to vomit their lunch, or the elderly incontinent woman you let ahead of you in long lines for the bathroom.

I have to admit, line cutting has come in handy even in nonemergencies, like when my daughter was sporting a rash after an overnight school trip and I got her a doctor’s visit without an appointment before a holiday weekend, or when the library was about to close and I cut in line because otherwise I would have accrued a fine for my overdue book. I am always polite, I offer a reason, and I cut as close to the front as I can.

Isn’t it human nature to use every (legal) tool at our disposal to get ahead in life? Think about it: When you are waiting in a long line for a movie or a restaurant and see a friend higher in the queue, don’t you usually jump in next to them? Most people don’t think twice.

I can think of a time when trying to get to the front of the line backfired on me big time. I joined Meetup.com and learned of a big toddler party at Gymboree. I was too late to sign up, but tried to get in anyway because my daughter wanted to play, I needed to make new mom friends after having my daughter in midlife, and we wouldn’t stay long! I was booted out, and while shouldering the snide comments that followed me down the street, I learned an important life lesson: Moms are tough and will protect their kids’ turf online or offline. That’s a bottom line I can respect.