The art of motherhood: Career performers, artist share their journeys
May 12—Jennifer Sydor always knew she wanted to be a mother.
Although she waited to become a parent until later in her career, motherhood was always in her consciousness and a driver for many of her life decisions.
"To me, motherhood is the greatest expression of love and creativity and my love of dance always intuitively felt aligned with my preparation to have a child of my own one day," said Sydor, who is now the mother of a soon-to-be six year-old son.
Sydor, an Iranian-American dancer, educator and choreographer, currently serves as artistic director of Dayton Dance Initiative. She also dances with The Metropolitan Opera in New York.
"To have a 20-year career in both New York City and Dayton has taken grit, perseverance and an undying commitment to the love I have of making art with others," she said.
Now, in her 18th season with The Met, she's had the privilege of watching and learning from a number of "fierce dancing mothers" in their 30s, 40s and 50s.
"I would watch them work out babysitting logistics, the economics of raising children in New York City, health insurance, having the time to maintain their instrument and nurturing second careers," Sydor said. " In my 20s and 30s, I would listen, observe and ask questions to those mothers I so admired. It gave me hope that I could also do it one day."
Sydor is one of the professional artists in the Miami Valley who agreed to reflect on the blending of career and parenting this Mother's Day. Because she's a freelance artist, her schedule fluctuates greatly.
"Honestly, I don't always balance motherhood and my career in the best way," said Sydor, who recently choreographed two musicals simultaneously at Sinclair Community College and the University of Dayton and also worked on a commission from Wright State University's dance program. "I found myself away four nights of the week from my family. Luckily, my husband is a wonderful and supportive partner and father and was happy to help. However, it was too much time away from Luca.
"I'm still greatly learning as I go."
In her role as artistic director of Dayton Dance Initiative, she feels it's her duty to model a good work/life balance.
"I want the professional dancers in this region to know that you can be a parent and still be a professional artist," she said. "You do not have to stop dancing when you have a child. Being a mother and the changes my body went through enhanced not only my love of dancing, but a new awareness and gratitude of my instrument."
Sydor has noted that in the Midwest dancing parents are less common than in New York and that dancers here are less likely to be dancing in their late 30s and 40s. "Again, I have a duty to model that it is possible,." she said. "There is no expiration date on being an artist."
Sydor sometimes takes Luca with her to her ballet classes at Wright State or the Dayton Ballet School when he has a day off from school. He will quietly play with his Hot Wheel cars but also watch the dancers." It seems to soothe him," she said. "It also soothes me to have him there. Luckily, my students warmly welcome and allow him to be in the room."
This past December, Luca saw his mom perform for the first time at Lincoln Center for The Met Opera's production of "The Magic Flute." She said she could see her husband and son from the stage.
"It was one of the greatest moments of my life, the convergence of everything I love the most came together in one fleeting moment I will never forget," Sydor said. "It made all the sacrifices to travel back to NYC to perform worth it. I want Luca to always know that his dreams are possible, and that my husband and I will always be there to support him."
Drawing on motherhood
Erin Smith believes her life really began at the intersection of a master's degree and motherhood.
After graduating from Central State University with a BA in Studio Art, Smith attended graduate school at the University of Cincinnati, studied abroad in Italy, earned a Master's Degree in Fine Arts and walked across the stage to receive her diploma when she was nine months pregnant. She had her first child two weeks later.
Today, Smith is a well respected working artist, an associate professor of art at Central State and a single mother of a daughter and two sons. She's discovered that the environment doesn't have to be perfect in order for her to be productive.
"If I waited for those perfect moments, my work would never get done," said Smith, who believes her greatest challenge has been balancing work, life and stable holistic health and wellness.
She is joyful that her youngsters — Zion, Zachary and Zavier — continue to have a front-row seat for all aspects of her work, whether that's coming up with a new idea or creating art. Although she doesn't expect them to become artists, Smith does enjoy teaching them skills such as linear perspective.
"This is where math, science and art intersect and I believe that these kinds of practices teach people to think and to see the world more critically," she said. "Something as simple and as complex as perspective drawing does, in fact, provide perspective in life on so many levels."
Smith follows her children's interests as well as her own, including those that appear to be unrelated to the arts. "Just as the Renaissance artists did in their time, I feed my interest in art by being aware, interested in and — most of all — invested, in all areas of my life.
"I am so many things and art is on the surface, but all of the other realms of life have resulted in the artwork that you see before you. It is not art for art's sake; it is art for life's sake; art for the sake of humanity; art for the sake of building stronger communities and lasting legacies," she said.
Theatrical mom
"In the arts, there are almost always nights and weekends, no matter your role," said Emily N. Wells, who took over as the new artistic director of The Human Race Theater Company in 2022. When the family moved to Dayton, there was little to no net of support. "Our first year here was rough," Wells said. "I was a new artistic director with responsibilities that spanned days and weekends, with evening rehearsals and show calls. My husband was still traveling to Houston for work three weeks at a time."
As a result, In that first year daughter Celeste spent a lot of time in the theater with her mom.
"We have toys and drawing supplies that stay in my office, so she's able to entertain herself when she's here," Wells said. "I make sure that she feels included whenever she's at work with me, and that there is space for her."
Wells and her husband maintain a shared online calendar that's regularly updated with events and activities so they can track when they need a babysitter and when they need to carve out family time.
"The hardest part is still occasional travel," Wells said. "I was away for a month last year on a directing job, and it was very difficult for us to be apart for so long. Video calls help, but they aren't a replacement for hugs, storytime, chats in the car. That month, I experienced such longing that I didn't always feel fully present in my work, nor fully present for her."
Wells feels fortunate that in her role as artistic director, she's in a position to set a tone of a child-friendly and parent-friendly workplace while still creating a professional atmosphere. When a member of her staff has a safety net fall through, her answer is always "yes" when it comes to bringing a child to work.
"I love that my daughter sees me in a leadership role, that she knows that people depend and rely on me and my opinion," Wells said. "I love that she has constant exposure to creativity, behind the scenes magic, and what it means to be an artist — hard work, passion, and talent. It also gives me a different perspective on programming."
As a parent in the arts, Wells often asks herself how she can make theater accessible for the parent that has a limited network, no babysitter, limited funds for childcare or simply wants a fun night out.
One answer? She has introduced a new "Parents' Day Out" option for families with children ages 5-12. While the parents enjoy the theatrical production, the kids attend a theater workshop related to the theme of the show. It's all included in the price of a ticket.
Musical mom
Leslie Dragan believes her challenges as a musician mom are not that different from many other moms. She has two daughters — three-year-old Elyse and one-year-old, Clara.
"Parenting is wonderful and rewarding, but it's also difficult and exhausting," said Dragan, who is a member of the Dayton Philharmonic Orchestra and also maintains a private studio of violin and viola students. She was a founding member, program coordinator and viola teacher at "Q the Music", a DPO orchestra program.
"Having a good work-life balance can be difficult as a musician without kids due to the amount of focus and time we put into practicing our instruments, so adding children into the mix makes the balance even more difficult to achieve," Dragan said. "Musicians also tend to work when many others are not — evenings and weekends — so missing out on time with your kids is hard, even though it's fulfilling to be playing music."
One of her solutions to the problem? Being super efficient with her practice time.
"To learn music quickly, I try to play at a speed where I make as few mistakes as possible and fix mistakes right away," she said. "I will also listen to recordings of the music when I am driving and if I have some down time and I don't have access to my instrument, I study the music so when I go to play it, it already feels familiar."
Like many other artistic moms, Dragan is fortunate to have a partner who supports her career and is willing to take on more solo parenting time on the days that she has rehearsals and concerts.
"I try to be organized and make sure everyone has everything they need before I leave for work. Planning meals for the week ahead is an absolute must."
She loves sharing her passion with her youngsters. They sing throughout the day and listen to all sorts of music in the car ― kids' music, classical, jazz, pop.
"I find that music has the ability to calm and soothe us, no matter our age," she said. "I love to see my kids react to music; they see and hear the world so differently than I do."
Dragan's children are present during most of her practice sessions.
"They have been right by me practicing since they were less than a week old," she said. "We have not started formal music training yet, but we are playing to get them started with Kindermusik classes in the near future. We definitely want music to be a part of our kids' lives, not as their future profession, but as an enriching addition to their academic education."
Her advice to other parents who would like to introduce music at home?
"I think singing is a wonderful way to introduce music to children. It's important to sing in the children's voice range whenever possible. YouTube has endless videos of classical music and our area has great classical music radio stations as well. In my experience, if I enjoy the music we are listening to, they will learn to love it too."
