Am I Being Love-Bombed? Take the Quiz

Is it healthy love or are you being love-bombed?

Reviewed by Ivy Kwong, LMFT

It’s easy to get swept up in the allure and romance of a brand new relationship. But where’s the line between those excited feelings and straight up love bombing? Our free love bombing test will help you find some clarity.

Who Is This Love Bombing Test For?

This love bombing quiz is for anyone who’s curious about whether the dynamic of their new romantic relationship is healthy, or if it’s veering into questionable territory. You’ll be able to gain some clarity about whether you’re getting love bombed so you can make informed decisions about how to move forward with this connection.

“Love-bombing is incredibly seductive. When we want to find love, someone showering us with affection, praise, and promises of the future can feel like just what we've been looking for," says Matthew Hussey, relationship expert and best-selling author of Love Life: How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person, and Live Happily.

"But, we have to be conscious enough and intentional enough to slow things down so that we can see if their attention and their investment is consistent and holds over a longer period of time," he says.

Related: 12 Types of Dating and How They Work

What Is Love Bombing?

Love bombing gets its name because it can feel like you're being inundated (or bombed!) with sweeping gestures and grand statements.

The other person will often drench you in adoring compliments about how amazing or perfect you are, and big milestones—like saying “I love you,” discussing marriage, or planning lavish vacations—happen very quickly. They may even demand an extraordinary amount of your time under the guise of your newfound connection.

“Love-bombing is what happens when a person gives you an excessive amount of attention, love, and adulation very early in the relationship. [It typically occurs] in an inorganic pace—inorganic for how long you've known each other," Hussey says. “As a result, it can feel both incredibly seductive and overwhelming at the same time.”

He explains that love bombing happens on a spectrum:

• Pure Naïveté: Some people are oblivious to how strong they’re coming across, and their love bombing can come from a place of insecurity or desire to make you feel special.

• Unhealthy Love Patterns: “For some, it can come from a place of idealizing you in unhealthy ways that they aren't even aware of consciously," Hussey says. For instance, this behavior may be exhibited by someone who has an anxious attachment style.

• Malicious Intent: Some people love bomb simply for the thrill of it. In fact, one study found a correlation between narcissistic behavior and love bombing. “Narcissistic types will often do this to get you all in on an intense level for their own validation and supply, where it's easier for them to control because your guard is down,” Hussey explains.

"Love-bombing is what happens when a person gives you an excessive amount of attention, love, and adulation very early in the relationship."

Matthew Hussey, relationship expert and author

Related: How to Find the Best Dating App for You

Can You Salvage a Love Bomb Relationship?

When you find yourself in a love bombing situation, it’s important to move forward with a heightened level of caution. If you want to salvage the relationship, it’s possible, but you’ll need to be clear and make attempts to steer the ship into a healthier trajectory.

“Suggest a slower pace,” Hussey says. “Explain that you like them, but it's really important to you to go at a pace that's organic where you can get to know each other better over a little more time, and watch for their reaction.” 

Takeaway

How they react can give you a lot of insight into whether it’s smart to move forward together. If they acknowledge that they got carried away and want to keep getting to know you on these slower terms, that’s an excellent sign you can course-correct. 

However, Hussey says that if they get angry or defensive—maybe even throwing accusations or trying to convince you to do things their way—then that’s a sign they’re not in a healthy place to move forward with a romantic relationship. 

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Read the original article on Verywell Mind.