Here’s how to improve your connection with your partner. (Photo: Stocksy/Studio Firma)
Mindfulness is being in the present moment with total awareness. But the one area where we can be the least present is in our relationships, and that includes our most intimate ones.
Mindful love-making is a whole new approach to being intimate with awareness, which means having sex not only for the sheer pleasure of it, but with our mind, body, and spirit combined, and as thoughtfully engaged as possible. Loving your partner mindfully will enhance the quality of your sex, and increase the closeness you experience together significantly. Not only will it become the type of love-making you crave, but it will be the only type of love-making you desire to give your partner.
Here are several ways to connect with your partner mindfully, and be as fully present as you can in the bedroom:
The best lovemaking is when two people are 100 percent present with each other, which means they are completely aware and sensitive of one another’s needs. A good way to make that happen is to set aside a special time for you and your partner to have sex. That way, you know that you’re bringing your complete attention to them, and that they are getting all of you in the experience, which is a turn-on.
Mindful lovemaking can happen when both people are fully present without distraction. Put your gadgets away. That means no phones nearby, or anything electronic that could go off and distract you. Being fully present with your partner means that you need nothing other than them to satisfy you.
Making love mindfully means being fully attuned to someone else’s body and needs. Communicate to your partner either verbally or through touch how much you want to satisfy them. Giving them all of your attention increases stimulation and satisfaction.
Think of what would make your partner happy or satisfy them. Showing your partner that you’ve taken the time to figure out what would excite them sexually lets them know that you care about them, and that they are very important to you.
Try surprising your partner by doing something you know they would love. Have a bath ready with candles around it, or cover the bed with rose petals. Have their favorite music playing, or aromatherapy oil wafting from a diffuser. Think of creative ways to set the mood for optimum lovemaking.
Ask your partner if they would like to be massaged before you hurry into lovemaking. Make sure not to rush, and to take it slow. By being fully in the present, your senses are much more alive, which makes everything you’re touching and everything you’re feeling much more enhanced.
Make sure to put your partner’s pleasure before your own. Show them how much you want to please them, and let them know how much you love being with them intimately. Make them feel that they are the most desirable person in the world to you. Your passion for them ignites their own even more.
After lovemaking, hold your partner. Allow yourself to fall asleep in each other’s arms.
Ora Nadrich is a Los Angeles life coach, mindfulness expert, author, Huffington Post blogger, speaker, and group facilitator. Her clients include actors, artists, business leaders, or anyone going through a life challenge who needs guidance to help navigate their path.
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