35 Tweets About The Sheer Joy That Is Grandma's House
Everybody needs a break from time to time, whether from the incessant demands of caregiving or the incessant commands from the people who are caring for you.
Enter: Grandma’s house. A space of joy, freedom, sweets and screen time. When the kids are there, parents can relish small luxuries such as going to the bathroom all by themselves.
Here, some of the funniest parents on X (formerly Twitter) describe the magic of going to Grandma’s.
“Shows just kept coming on randomly one after another, it was wild!” -my child raised on Netflix, after visiting her grandma with cable.
— The Dad (@thedad) April 23, 2021
After 3 days at her house, Grandma sent the kids back with glowing reviews. But then I unpacked their bags and found homemade slime. Well-played, Grandma. Well-played.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 9, 2018
If you’re looking for Christmas gift ideas for my child, they wear a size “sleepover at Grandma’s house.”
— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) December 10, 2019
Trying to figure out what to serve Grandma for dinner and our 5 y/o daughter says, “Pasta. She likes pasta. She makes the best Spaghetti-O’s.”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) August 30, 2022
Me: Omg I need a break, they are driving me crazy. I need a break so badly. I can’t remember the last time I had a break.
*Grandma takes the kids*
Me: Well, now wtf am I supposed to do?— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) January 15, 2020
My parents are married and live together but my toddler has already figured out it’s “Grandma’s house”
— Parenting Presently (The Mom Hack) (@presentparent_) September 18, 2023
4-year-old: I like grandma. She doesn't say words I don't like.
Me: Like what?
4: No.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 21, 2017
4yo: Daddy, I’ll miss you when you’re dead but I’m also gonna be a little excited because then I get to go live at grandma’s house
My husband: ... pic.twitter.com/dpEMbi9Ij0— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) October 11, 2021
one weekend at grandma and grandpas and the baby is apparently just like, oh yeah i walk now by the way. almost reassuring to know that you and your overbearing parenting style were in fact the problem.
— am rod (@arod_twit) September 3, 2023
4: when was the last time you checked in on your mother?
me: is that your way of saying you want to go to grandma’s?— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) July 22, 2020
I dropped my kids off at their Grandma's, came home and was able to use the bathroom in peace.
I also happened to fall asleep on the toilet and if that's not a parenting win, I don't know what is.— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) June 6, 2018
My daughter, in anger, told me that her grandma was her favorite person.
Frankly, that's the best news I've heard all day.
I'll be helping her pack her suitcase, if you need me.— Doc McMuffins (@Cynical_Parent) December 14, 2018
My 4-year-old: Are we going to grandma's today?
Me: Tomorrow.
4: Yay, Grandma's today!
Me: No, tomorrow.
4: Today?
Me: [sigh] Sure, today.
4: Yay, Grandma's tomorrow!— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) April 2, 2022
If you haven’t manipulated your kids into calling grandma to ask to sleep over, you’re missing out on a crucial parenting hack.
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) July 10, 2020
Us: [Unloading several dozen bags from our van]
Neighbor: Wow. Did you guys just get back from vacation?
Us: No, just took the kids to grandma’s house for a couple of hours.— The Mom at Law® (@TheMomAtLaw) September 9, 2018
*dinner requests at grandmas*
6- Can I have a pancake?
Grandma- What did your dad say?
6- He said no.
Grandma- I'll make you three pancakes for dinner.— Chris (@GettingMyDadOn) December 28, 2019
Daughter: Mom, where can I practice my recorder?
Me: *drives her over to Grandma’s house*— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 31, 2019
Starting this Easter morning off right by pumping my kids full of sugar before taking them to Grandma’s house. Let’s see how she likes it.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) March 31, 2024
My niece: Grandma, why does your food always taste so good?
My mom: Because it’s made with love
Me: ᴵ ᵈᵒⁿ’ᵗ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗᶦᵐᵉˢ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ’ˢ ᵃⁿᵍᵉʳ ᵗʰʳᵒʷⁿ ᶦⁿ— Taco Biscuits (@bgschnikelfritz) June 11, 2022
Literally spent months stressed my 2yo would be miserable when we left him with his grandma for a 3 day vacay but he’s apparently having the best time, sleeping through the night, eating all his meals, and hasn’t asked to call us once 😂
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 22, 2022
My mom as a grandma: Have some more ice cream and then let's go buy you all the new toys you could ever want
My mom when she was raising me: If you need new socks you'll have to earn them with chore money, now finish your boiled celery strings— The Dad (@thedad) April 2, 2021
Me (5 minutes before picking up kids after long weekend away):😍 I miss them so much.
Me (5 minutes into trip home from Grandma's): 😖 $@#£, you're getting a vasectomy this week!— Doc McMuffins (@Cynical_Parent) March 4, 2018
Chicken nuggets and carrots at grandma's for 4yo: delicious!
Chicken nuggets and carrots at home for 4yo: I don't like this! Noooooo! I won't eat it! You ruined everything!— Karen (@AntsyButterfly) June 12, 2018
At my parents house and the other two grandkids are in bed asleep. My clever toddler manages to fight her bedtime (and me) an extra hour and gets herself a bonus popsicle and snuggles from her grandma. Well played little one. Well played. #momlife#toddlerlife#parenting
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) May 27, 2018
Grandma: The kids ate REALLY healthy today. Lots of fruit.
Me: Fruit snacks aren't fruit.
Grandma: ...#momlife#grandma#norulesatgrandmas— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) August 10, 2017
2.5: Mommy if I tell you to do something you need to do it right away
Me: Oh is that so? Did you want to go to grandma's today?
2.5: Yeah!
Me: Let's do that right away.— Some Boys' Mother (@someboysmother) September 26, 2019
[picking kids up from Grandma’s]
Me: Hi Kids! I’ve missed you! *holds out arms for hug*
Sacks of sugar: Hey. *continue watching T.V.*— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 21, 2018
Murphy’s Law of parenting and sleep:
While staying with grandma, my children will sleep until 9:30am, but while at home with me when hubs is traveling, will wake up at 6am.— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) January 15, 2021
Starting to miss the kids after 3 days at grandma’s, so I put some syrup on my fingers and pressed them to the windows to make comfort handprints.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 9, 2018
If you guys need anything, just get my 6yo to ask her grandma for it.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) August 20, 2018
I have these headaches that, more often than not, go away to their grandma’s house.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) May 7, 2023
My 9 year old: Mom, what’s our billing zip code?
Me: It’s…wait, what??
And that’s how I walked in on her hustling her grandma into signing up for a Netflix account. WE ALREADY HAVE ONE but I admire her dedication.— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) November 17, 2022
Mama: Time to go.
3yo: No.
Mama: Yes.
3yo: No!
Mama: Yes.
3yo: NO!
Mama: *exasperated* TIME TO GO NOW!!
3yo: NO!!!!!!
Grandma: I’m going too.
3yo: Oh....ok then!— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) July 5, 2019
My 10 y/o daughter told me not to get her socks for Christmas because Grandma always gets them for her, so I asked her why and she said, “Grammy likes to tell me to put them on when I’m barefooted because I’m making her feet cold.”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) December 19, 2022
Me: Did you miss me while you were at Grandma’s house?
6-year-old: She let us make cookies.
Me: I missed you.
6: We ate them for breakfast.
So that’s a no.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 5, 2018
