13 Brilliant Phrases to Respond to Unsolicited Advice, According to Mental Health Pros

Beth Ann Mayer
·7 min read
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Woman responding to her colleague's unsolicited advice

All you wanted to do was vent about a work issue. Instead of leaving the planned vent session feeling like you got a load off your chest, you wound up buried in free advice you didn't want or need. And let's just say you got what you paid for—nothing, except maybe more rage.

As a therapist, Dr. Kelsey M. Latimer, Ph.D., CEDS-S, BSN, steers clear of giving clients unsolicited advice.

"Even when it was meant to be supportive and helpful- it can often feel invalidating and be seen as a shutting down of one's emotions," says Dr. Latimer of KML Psychological Services. "It can also be seen as condescending in some instances, as people often know what 'the right answer is,' and don’t need to be coached on critical thinking."

Of course, not all unsolicited advice is garbage.

"For others, it might offer a new perspective or provide validation for their feelings or choices," points out Dr. Sogand Ghassemi, MD, the chief of medical staff and a child, adolescent and adult psychiatrist with PrairieCare. 

But Dr. Ghassemi also acknowledges unsolicited advice isn't always welcome.

"It can exacerbate feelings of doubt or undermine self-confidence, especially if they are grappling with issues related to autonomy or self-efficacy," Dr. Ghassemi says.

Regardless of which camp you're in — and it likely varies by the situation — knowing how to respond to unsolicited advice can be productive, relationship-building and boundary-setting. It can be challenging to figure out how to react in the moment. Save these top phrases for responding to unsolicited advice in your back pocket. 

Related: 12 Phrases To Use When Someone Is 'Talking Down' to You—and Why They Work, According to Psychologists

What Is Unsolicited Advice?

You've probably heard the term, but what does it really mean? "Unsolicited advice is when you give or receive information or suggestions that were not requested," says Reena B. Patel, a parenting expert, positive psychologist and licensed educational board-certified behavior analyst.

Though sometimes even unsolicited advice can be useful, it's not always what a person wants or needs at the moment.

"What we usually need is support in dealing with our emotions related to a situation or coping with the overwhelm of a particular time," Dr. Latimer says.

What Is An Example of Unsolicited Advice?

There are so many we could list here. "Examples range from telling you how you should dress or look to advice about what you should do at work or in relationships," says Dr. Ghassemi. "It may involve opinions related to your parenting approach, daily habits, or material possessions."

Dr. Ghassemi says that one concrete example is, “If you’re so unhappy in your relationship, you should break up with your boyfriend and join this dating app that I use. You’d be so much happier."

Related: 35 of the Best, Funniest Responses to Pick-Up Lines

The Best Ways to Respond to Unsolicited Advice

1. “Thanks for your input.”

Dr. Ghassemi says this phrase is general enough to work in professional and personal settings.

"This is a neutral response, appropriate for most situations, acknowledging the advice without committing to it," Dr. Ghassemi says.

2. "I appreciate your concern, but I can handle it."

This phrase exudes confidence with a touch of gratitude.

"[It's in] the tone that you know it's coming from a good place but indicates that specific guidance isn't welcomed," says Dr. Nikki Coleman, Ph.D., a Houston-based licensed psychologist of Dr. Nikki Knows, LLC.

3. "I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want someone to listen."

As Dr. Latimer said earlier, people often want to be heard. While this phrase works in response to unsolicited advice, Dr. Latimer says it's a good idea to proactively use it before starting your vent.

"Be specific when you go to somebody and ask them for what it is that you want," Dr. Latimer says. "This can save us from them trying to guess how to help."

4. "I will give that some thought."

This non-committal phrase can softly end a conversation.

"This is a way to say you heard them but that you are not necessarily going to act on their advice," Patel says.

5. "Thank you for sharing what has worked for you. We are going to do it a bit differently."

This phrase can be particularly impactful if someone gives relationship or parenting advice.

"You are acknowledging what maybe can work and that you heard them but are going to go a different direction," Patel says.

Related: 11 Phrases To Use Instead of Automatically Giving Advice, According to Psychologists

6. "That’s a great idea. Thank you for suggesting it."

Not all unsolicited advice is terrible.

"It can sometimes be a helpful way for us to look at a situation differently," Dr. Ghassemi says. "It is possible that even though you didn’t ask for it, someone’s suggestion could help you."

7. “I understand where you’re coming from. Let me reflect on that."

This phrase exudes emotional maturity and openness—two critical components of healthy relationships.

"It respects your partner’s perspective and conveys that you will take it into account," Dr. Ghassemi says.

8. "I hear what you are saying, but my experience is different, and I disagree with your advice."

This honest yet diplomatic response signals you would like to agree to disagree.

"Refrain from trying to tear them down in response to feeling upset by their response," Dr. Latimer says.

9. "I would like to talk to you about our communication."

Unsolicited advice is a form of communication, and a person may chronically dole it off to the detriment of your relationship. Dr. Latimer says it's best to address it.

"Take ownership of your part, and be assertive in your needs," Dr. Latimer says. "Often, we hold our feelings in, and that can lead to resentment and passive-aggressive behavior."

10. "I love how you're trying to look out for me. I want to try it a different way for myself first."

Dr. Coleman suggests using this line on a well-meaning pal.

"It expresses a recognition that it's coming from a good place but that you've got it under control yourself," she says.

11. "That's a different way to look at things. It doesn't really fit for me, but I appreciate your perspective."

Dr. Coleman says that this polite line is especially effective in the workplace but might also fit in personal situations. 

"It expresses that there is a disconnect between their perspective and your experience while acknowledging their good intentions," Dr. Coleman says.

12. "I think your intentions are well-meaning, but that isn't helpful to me."

This phrase, recommended by Dr. Coleman, assumes the best in the advice-giver while also getting the point across.

13. "I will come to you if I need more insight in the future."

"This is a great way to say that you will come to them if you are interested in hearing their advice in the future," Patel says.

For example, if the unsolicited advice is worth considering, you might want to go back to someone when you have a specific issue. It's nice to let them know. Alternatively, if you generally like a person's advice but weren't interested this time, this phrase lets them know they may have a platform in the future.

Related: 13 Signs You Might Be Emotionally Unavailable

How Not to Respond to Unsolicited Advice

Quickly and bitterly.

"Take a deep breath and assume someone's best intentions, but also set your boundaries," Patel says.

Dr. Ghassemi echoes these sentiments.

"Try your best to avoid overreacting or responding impulsively or heatedly," Dr. Ghassemi says. "Even if the advice is unsolicited or you wouldn’t dare take it, it can be most effective to thank the person or change the subject rather than getting into a full-blown argument."

Next: 35 Phrases To Set Boundaries Firmly and Fairly, According to Mental Health Pros

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