8 Tips for Happiness with Your Coworkers
It’s called “work” for a reason — but there are some ways you can make your office a happier, friendlier place. (Photo: Flickr/Glen Wright)
While no one particularly loves the idea of work every morning, there are ways to be happier with the idea of setting your alarm for your job every day. A huge element of this happiness comes from how you can get along with your peers.
Maybe you have lots of coworkers — or maybe, like me, you work by yourself so you have to fashion your own “colleagues.” Here are nine strategies that I’ve used at various points in my work life for keeping the peace and maintaining happiness in the office:
1. Some people believe it’s best to keep work life and personal life separate, and therefore avoid making friends with colleagues. But for most people, having strong friendships makes work more fun. Science supports this: Having close relationships is essential to happiness, strengthens the immune system, and reduces anxiety. However…
2. If you’re in a relationship, avoid creating situations that might put you in the path of temptation. (Here are five tips to avoid having an office affair.)
3. If you work alone, take time to mix with other people. Socializing boosts the moods of introverts, as well as extroverts. I love having long stretches when I work by myself in silence, but I’ve realized that I need to make several appointments each week to put me in contact with other people.
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4. Each week, walk around your office and talk to a few people you don’t know well. You’ll feel more comfortable socially, plus knowing more people facilitates work flow. Remember the mere exposure effect, as well: Repeated exposure makes people like music, faces, even nonsense syllables, better. That means that the more often you see someone, the more intelligent and attractive that person will seem.
5. If a colleague gets under your skin, figure out why. I used to work with a guy who enraged me at every meeting. When I started analyzing his techniques, to understand why he was having that effect on me, I became fascinated with the brilliance of his subtle put-downs. (For a list of his strategies, see chapter 3 of my book Power Money Fame Sex.)
6. Remind yourself: There is only love. This commandment was inspired by a friend who took a job where she knew she’d have a difficult boss. From the beginning, she told herself, “There is only love.” She doesn’t allow herself to criticize her boss, even in her own mind, and won’t listen to anyone else’s criticism. She says it’s tough to do, but it has made her job far easier.
Related: 10 Happiness-Sucking Phrases To Stop Saying NOW
7. Say “Good morning” to everyone. This is polite, and it will also help you feel like you have a small connection to everyone you see. That makes your workplace seem more friendly and warm.
8. Cut people slack. You never know what’s going on in people’s lives, and it’s always better to err on the side of being forgiving, not taking things personally, and trying to see the funny side of circumstances.
What am I missing? What are some strategies that you’ve used to work more happily with your colleagues?
Gretchen Rubin is the author of the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project, and Happier at Home. On her weekly podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, she discusses good habits and happiness with her sister Elizabeth Craft. She writes about happiness and habit-formation at gretchenrubin.com. Follow her on Twitter, @gretchenrubin, or on Facebook, facebook.com/GretchenRubin.
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