Your Queer Weekly Horoscope: April 22-28

Ariel Davis

Welcome to your Queer Weekly Horoscope, a bite-sized look at the coming days broken down by your zodiac sign.

Mercury retrograde is ending. Our collective communication nightmare is finally coming to a close! But the first planet won’t turn direct until Thursday, which means there’s still plenty of time left to destroy a few relationships if you’re determined. So tread carefully. If we all tiptoe through the next few days, we might make it to the other side unscathed. To that end, consider this weekly horoscope a guide to safe harbor. The other major event? A Full Moon gives everybody the chance to turn into a Scorpio (except for people who are already Scorpios; they’ll just get angry.)

Taurus is up first for this weekly horoscope, then we’ll scroll through each sign until everyone’s fate is unfurled. If you know more of your placements than your Sun Sign alone (Moon, Rising, Mars, Venus, etc.), check their entries as well to get a full picture of your astrological forecast.

Taurus

What the stars are up to:

  • The Sun, Jupiter, and Uranus are in your sign.

  • Your ruler Venus is in Aries.

What it means:

How are you doing this?! Like, I understand how planets move through space, scientifically. The spherical objects that comprise our solar system all rotate and revolve in a certain fashion. Astrologically, these celestial interactions are supposed to influence the experience of us puny humans crawling about on the surface of Earth. But hilariously, this week’s schedule of two Big Events — that’s it, only two, that’s enough — seems as if it was purposefully arranged by an all-seeing Taurus in the sky. We will deal with two things, just two, y’all decided, and no further! I can’t help but feel as if the collective vibe of all Taureans is somehow responsible for this development, and I respect and appreciate your boundary-enforcing energy.

So, that’s what’s happening this week! Two things: Full Moon in Scorpio (oof) and then Mercury turns direct (ahh). Please exert your formidable psychic willpower to manifest chill for everyone else.

Gemini

What the stars are up to:

  • Your sign ruler Mercury is retrograde in Aries.

  • On Thursday morning, Mercury turns direct!

What it means:

The God that Hannah Einbinder now believes in bestows a blessing upon you! Before the week is out, your sign ruler Mercury returns to direct orbit and other people will return to reacting to you with only the occasional dog-like head tilt of confusion. (This past week, they’ve probably been looking at you like you’re speaking a garbled alien language.) Keep on keeping on; your own season and the arrival of lucky Jupiter in your sign are on the horizon.

Cancer

What the stars are up to:

  • Your sign ruler the Moon travels through Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, and Capricorn.

  • The Full Moon in Scorpio opposes the Sun.

What it means:

You are the arrestingly mysterious superstar of this week. Your sign ruler the Moon strikes its Full pose in Scorpio, and no other sign — not even Scorp themselves! — can manage to be badder than you. It’s not like it’s gonna feel great, per se. You’ll probably be in a terrible mood, but wow! Externally, you’ll look fantastic. Make sure you take a series of selfies; they’ll be fun to look at later once the cloud of nihilism has passed.

Leo

What the stars are up to:

  • Your sign ruler the Sun is in Taurus.

  • The Full Moon in Scorpio opposes the Sun.

What it means:

You have two options during the Full Moon in Scorpio: be a melodramatic stunt queen, or curl up into an antisocial cocoon. Either option is perfectly valid! Regardless, you will probably regret whichever you choose and subsequently wish you’d picked the other path. Bygones, alas! Your could-have, should-have ruminations will most likely disappear once Mercury returns to direct orbit. Misunderstandings will smooth over and you’ll find more pressing matters to worry about.

Virgo

What the stars are up to:

  • Lilith is in your sign.

  • Your sign ruler Mercury is retrograde in Aries.

  • On Thursday morning, Mercury turns direct!

What it means:

Mercury finally returns to direct perspective orbit and communication systems are set aright! Or, at least, closer to right. Most people never quite manage to get on your level, but after Thursday you won’t be operating at Code Red, full-on disaster mode anymore. You’re still harboring shadow ruler Lilith and a compulsive urge to do evil upon anyone who inconveniences you, so, you know. Be careful or whatever.

Libra

What the stars are up to:

  • The South Node is in your sign.

  • Your ruler Venus is in Aries.

  • The Moon in your sign opposes Mercury and Venus.

What it means:

I live in Arizona, where daily temperatures are now reaching 90°F. This has caused the overlords of my apartment complex to turn off the heat in the pool — prematurely in my opinion, as the water now feels chilly at nightfall when I am most apt to take a dip. So here I sit at sunset, lounging poolside writing this horoscope in a fabulous robe just as any respectable astrologer should, when I find myself distracted by the struggles of a bug in the water. I call upon all the apathy available in my own natal chart in attempt to ignore the drowning insect and continue with the dispensation of fate, but I have just reached consideration of your sign and my Libra Venus placement is winning out. I wade out to the middle of the pool, extend a hand to deliver the tiny creature unto safety, then sit down dripping to resume writing… only to notice that the damn bug stung my finger! What kind of reward is that for interspecies altruism? Or perhaps the little winged thing just clung to me so fiercely that a small claw managed to slash through my skin. I’m glad it remains alive, nonetheless. My takeaway is that Libra energy is enormously empathetic. I don’t know how y’all with Libra Suns make it through each long day of assuaging other people’s troubles.

As far as destiny, the South Node is still in your sign and you’re probably feeling awful. Expect communication breakdowns and heartache on Monday. Best of luck with this week! We’ll meet here again once Mercury retrograde is over.

Scorpio

What the stars are up to:

  • Your sign ruler Pluto is in Aquarius.

  • The Full Moon arrives in your sign, squares off against Pluto, then opposes the Sun. Afterward, the Moon creates trines with Saturn, Mars, and Neptune, but opposes Uranus and Jupiter.

What it means:

A heart full of emotion and a head at odds with your own self-image? Whew. This is gonna be one of those weeks that gives Scorpios a reputation for being intimidating. No need to practice your glare in the mirror! As the Moon enters your sign, your face will automatically arrange itself into a surly snarl until Thursday night. Don’t worry about socialization this week. Everyone else will irritate you, merely by the fact of their existence, but absolutely no one will try to interact once they catch a glimpse of your expression. After a few days, your R.B.F. will relax once Mercury turns direct and the Moon moves on to Sagittarius.

Sagittarius

What the stars are up to:

  • Your sign ruler Jupiter is in Taurus.

  • The Moon in your sign forms a sextile with Pluto, creates trines with Mercury and Venus, and squares off against Saturn, Mars, and Neptune.

What it means:

You don’t have any responsibility, energy, or common sense this week, but hey! You remain charming as ever, and you might even start to recognize the vague shape of a life pattern you’d eventually like to change. You can figure out how to actually accomplish that later; for now, there are strangers to flirt with and TikToks to watch.

Capricorn

What the stars are up to:

  • Your sign ruler Saturn is in Pisces.

  • The Moon in your sign creates a trine with the Sun.

What it means:

You're like a grizzled survivor in a horror movie. You might not enjoy what life’s throwing at you, but it would take a particularly diabolical twist of fate to knock you out of your regular, insistent functionality. The coming days will be long and events will likely be unpleasant, but you’ve got a small bright spot to look forward to at the last gasp of the week: In that moment, your heart will swell with well-deserved appreciation of your own personality and all of the effort you’ve put in to earn your place in life. Please, I am begging you here: allow yourself to enjoy it. You deserve to experience a good feeling.

Aquarius

What the stars are up to:

  • Pluto is in your sign.

  • Your sign ruler Uranus is in Taurus.

What it means:

You're sitting back, observing surrounding events with detached bemusement. The Sun and Full Moon are angry with your little pal, Pluto, which means large life changes are off the table for the moment. Still! An episode of self-actualization could happen as the Sun draws progressively closer to union with your sign ruler Uranus in May.

Pisces

What the stars are up to:

  • Mars, Saturn, and your ruler Neptune are in your sign.

What it means:

Wait, what's happening here? You're actually having… kind of a good week?! Congratulations to you on this trend-breaking feat of contrarianism! The Moon in Scorpio is pleased with the rulers of action, ambition, and intuition in your sign. Then, life improves for the entire zodiac when Mercury retrograde comes to an end. Take some time alone, or in the company of fellow Pisces, to double down on security during a time of chaos.

Aries

What the stars are up to:

  • Venus, Chiron, the North Node, and retrograde Mercury are in your sign.

  • On Thursday morning, Mercury turns direct!

What it means:

You've got a gaggle of influences hanging out in your sign — the representatives of desire, healing, the future, and communication, to be specific — but Venus, Chiron, and the North Node refrain from any major interaction while they wait for Mercury to spin out of retrograde orbit and turn direct. This finally happens on Thursday, freeing you from Mercury's weeks-long threat of disaster. Prepare to become even more productive: your sign ruler Mars is on the way to amplify your energy next week.

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Originally Appeared on them.


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