Jordan Klepper on campus protests: ‘You’re not going to resolve tension by adding violence’

With other late-night hosts on vacation, The Daily Show guest hosts Jordan Klepper and Ronny Chieng dug into the disproportionate force used on college campus protests against Israel’s disproportionate force in Gaza.

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It was a week of unrest at college campuses across the nation, as thousands of students protested against Israel’s war in Gaza. “This presents a challenge for the colleges,” said the Daily Show co-host Jordan Klepper. “Loud and even disruptive protests are a cherished tradition on campuses. And college investments in Israel are a legitimate issue for students. But, at the same time, there’s a real element of antisemitism among some protests, and Jewish students have the right to feel safe at their own schools.

“It’s a delicate balance that requires keeping a cool head, and listening respectfully. And above all, the colleges should not escalate the tension,” Klepper continued. Cut to clips of Columbia University’s president and NYU’s president calling the NYPD to intervene and break up student protests.

“I said DE-escalate. DE-escalate!” said Klepper. “Does de-escalate not mean what I think it means? Reverse escalate. Don’t make it worse!”

Even worse, the Texas governor, Greg Abbott, called the national guard to handle peaceful protesters at the University of Texas at Austin. “Send in the national guard and wake these kids up!” said Senator Josh Hawley on Fox News.

“Do these fuckers ever think of a solution besides force?” Klepper wondered. “I mean, when this guy’s wifi goes down, is he like ‘get the national guard in here! We need to fuck up my modem.’”

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“You don’t use the national guard because students are camping on the quad,” Klepper’s co-host Ronny Chieng added. “You use them for when aliens invade and you want to test the aliens’ weapon capabilities.”

“You’re not going to resolve tension by adding violence,” said Klepper. He spitballed a different tactic: “maybe instead of armed soldiers, why not try sending in the college improv troupe, you know? A group of communications majors in bright colored shirts asking for suggestions should clear out a crowd in no time.”

Hawley was not the only Republican to publicly denigrate the student protesters. The House speaker, Mike Johnson, during a speech at Columbia University, called on the university president to resign if the protests didn’t stop and called on “kids” to “stop wasting your parents’ money” and go back to class.

“Yes, stop wasting your parents’ money. Be like Mike Johnson – get into government and waste everyone’s money,” Chieng joked.

“It’s quite a flip-flop for Republicans to be telling New York college kids to go back to their woke ideology classes,” Klepper added.

“There’s a lot of noise and plenty of bad actors,” Klepper concluded. “But fundamentally, what’s driving these protests is anger over Israel’s disproportionate use of force. So, before we respond to the protests with disproportionate force, maybe we should listen to what they have to say. And then, if we still don’t agree with the students, then we can send in the college improv troupe.”