Hilaria Baldwin vows to stand by husband Alec during 'unthinkable nightmare': 'I don’t want to lose you'

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  • Alec Baldwin
  • Hilaria Baldwin
    American podcaster, author, and yoga instructor
Hilaria Baldwin, 37, posted a passionate statement in support of her husband, Alec Baldwin, 63, on her Instagram page. (Photo: Jason Mendez/WireImage)
Hilaria Baldwin, 37, posted a passionate statement in support of her husband, Alec Baldwin, 63, on her Instagram page. (Photo: Jason Mendez/WireImage)

Hilaria Baldwin is standing by her husband Alec in the wake of the Rust shooting last month. 

On Friday, Hilaria took to Instagram to post a romantic photo of the couple kissing as they embraced each other. But it was the caption on the post that proved to be the most significant. 

"'I am here, I love you, and I will take care of you.' These were the only words that came to me when we learned Halyna had died," Hilaria wrote, referring to the fatal shooting of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins with a prop gun on Oct. 21. "I remember saying that phrase over and over again. The horrific loss, the torture to her family, and you, my husband, somehow put in this unthinkable nightmare."

Hilaria shared that since Alec was away on set when the shooting happened, they couldn't immediately be together. It was made more challenging by the prying eyes of photographers who captured pictures of Alec on set, visibly upset. 

"That moment, etched in my memory, photographers surrounding you, on the phone with me, documenting your agony," she wrote. "I couldn’t be near you to hug you, our connection over the phone, a visual for the world to see."

Hilaria continued, writing that while their "public life is one that brings great joy in connecting with amazing people and tremendous trauma when it gets dark," it also can feel "overwhelming," particularly in situations like this one. "I was afraid for you to open up because I’ve seen your spirit crushed, your mental health shattered, your soul in unimaginable pain. Sometimes I wonder how much one body, one mind can take. I don’t want to lose you," she shared.

Ultimately, Alec decided to speak out in an ABC News interview with George Stephanopoulos, which aired this past week, Yahoo Entertainment previously reported. When Stephanopoulos asked why Alec fired the gun when it wasn't in the script, Alec replied, "The trigger wasn't pulled. I didn't pull the trigger." He elaborated, saying "I would never point a gun at anyone and pull the trigger at them, never."

"Someone put a live bullet in a gun, a bullet that wasn't even supposed to be on the property," he continued. 

Now, he's forced to constantly reexamine the tragedy. "I think back and I think of what could I have done," he added.

In regards to her husband speaking to Stephanopoulos, Hilaria applauded him for "knowing himself." However, she feels she "lost my voice in this giant cyclone of modern day media, social and 'news.'"

"I stopped speaking because of fear. You always encourage me to speak, use my voice, stay true. You were right and continue to inspire me," said Hilaria. She concluded her statement by reaffirming earlier declarations to honor the life of Hutchins, but also to be there to support her husband "until the very end." 

"My Alec, I am here to heal any of your pain that I can. I am not going anywhere. Onward to being Alec and Hilaria, messy, emotions strong, but lots and lots of love—until the very end," she wrote.

In response to the post, Alec replied "I’m lucky. Sometimes it doesn’t seem that way to me. But having you and our family…I’m the luckiest guy on Earth." 

The support goes both way in their relationship. Last year, Hilaria faced accusations of pretending to be Spanish, stemming from a since-deleted viral Twitter thread that alleged she had feigned a Spanish accent, used a Spanish version of her given name Hillary and implied that her country of origin was Spain. 

At the time, Alec was quick to defend his wife. He posted a series of cryptic quotes on his Instagram page, including “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” When commenters called him out, the 30 Rock alum quickly replied “Go f*** yourself.” He even critiqued certain publications that commented on his social media posts.

The couple, who wed in 2012, welcomed their sixth child, a daughter named Lucia, back in March via surrogate. As the Rust tragedy occurred, it has made parenting six children an even more "intense experience, to say the least," Hilaria said on Instagram. However, the couple was determined to keep life moving for the busy family.

 "Today, we rallied to give them a holiday," Hilaria wrote in Instagram post on Halloween, showing the "Baldwinitos" looking adorable in a variety of costumes.