The 'Walking Dead' Brain-Dead Move of the Week: I Wish I Had That Jessie Girl
Every week on The Walking Dead, someone does something stupid that needlessly endangers the lives of themselves and others. Here, we commemorate those decisions in the hopes that they won’t be repeated. But of course, we know they will be.
So we’re in Alexandria now, where the talk is less about zombies and existential dread, and more about cardigans and pasta makers! These people are safe enough to be annoyingly bougie, and Rick and his crew are slowly but surely settling in. Even Daryl is letting his guard down!
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But with the walkers safely on the other side of reinforced steel walls, where does our weekly Brain-Dead Move come from? The only time we saw walkers this week, Daryl and Aaron didn’t do anything hugely stupid… although that poor horse Buttons might disagree. “You trapped me inside a fence, you jerks!” We’re still not ready to talk about it.
The rest of the gang is doing their best to lay low and play along… except Sasha, who needs a few more on-camera therapy sessions with Dr. Deanna. Even Abraham and Rosita got cleaned up for the welcome party, looking like a bizarro, post-apocalyptic version of Ron Swanson and April Ludgate from Parks and Rec.
And we have to admit: We’re kind of loving Carol’s transformation into an always-smiling, cookie-baking housewife. Was it a dumb move to threaten that kid in the pantry? Nah. The only thing that kid’s doing when he gets home is changing his underwear.
So really, the dumbest move of the week goes to Rick. What the hell are you doing, Rick? Jessie is cute and all, but flirting with another man’s wife is not really a great way to blend in. (You remember what happened to Shane, right? Oh right, you’re the one who did it to him.)
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Rick even kissed Jessie on the cheek! In full view of everyone at the party! He can expect another late-night porch chat with Jessie’s husband Pete… or worse. We just don’t understand how he went from “I’ll never trust another person as long as I live” to “I’m looking to get laid tonight” in the span of a couple days. Keep it in your pants, Rick!
And stop trying to use that line from Love Actually! It didn’t work on Keira Knightley, either!
Runners-Up: Eric, for leaving his boyfriend Aaron alone with Daryl Muthaf—kin’ Dixon. That man is one big walking pheromone right now; no relationship can survive that!… That Alexandria housewife, for recommending a recipe to Carol that involves lima beans and cocoa powder. Blech! If that’s what passes for fine cuisine in Alexandria, we’ll take our chances with rats and possums on the outside.
The Walking Dead airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on AMC.
