Lifetime's 'Full House' Movie Cast Revealed

We have just one question about Lifetime’s upcoming The Unauthorized Full House Story: Where’s the drama?

The made-for-TV movie will go behind-the-scenes of the 1987-95 ABC TGIF sitcom — a la Lifetime’s 2014 The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story — but where there was plenty happening behind-the-scenes on the Bayside High set, where’s the tell-all potential in a Full House flick?

Potty training horror stories of the Olsen twins? Dave Coulier’s fling with Alanis Morissette, which allegedly inspired her hit “You Oughta Know”? John Stamos’s unrequited crush on co-star and on-screen wife Lori Loughlin? How Bob Saget was such a lovable, G-rated doofus as Danny, but totally not family friendly in his stand-up act and guest appearances on Entourage? The troubled post-House years of Jodie Sweetin?

Yeah, OK, we’d watch that.

As for the actors and actresses who’ll be playing the actors and actresses who made up the House cast, actor Garrett Brawith (guest star on Dexter, General Hospital, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer) will play Saget, while Justin Mader (Death Race and Covert Affairs) plays Coulier, and Justin Gaston — the Days of Our Lives alum who is the most well-known actor in the line-up — plays Full House star (and also a soap opera alum) Stamos.

UnReal star Stephanie Bennett will play Loughlin; Shelby Armstrong and Brittney Wilson play younger and older versions of D.J. portrayer Candace Cameron; Dakota Guppy and Jordyn Olson (an alum of Lifetime’s Bell movie) play the younger and older versions of Stephanie actress Jodie Sweetin; and Aislyn Watson and Jaime Schneider play the younger and older versions of Kimmy Gibbler actress Andrea Barber.

As for breakout stars Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, three sets of twins will play the girls who played scene-stealing Michelle Tanner: Blaise and Kinslea Todd as toddler-aged Olsens, Calla and Tyla Jones as six-year-old Olsens, and Kylie and Jordon Armstrong as nine-year-old Olsens.

The movie, part of the ‘80s and ‘90s TV revival craze that includes Netflix’s upcoming Tanner family sequel series Fuller House, premieres on Lifetime on Aug. 22.

Now, about that photo… save the general shape of the characters’ hairstyles, is it just us, or do these people look almost nothing like our beloved San Francisco-dwelling TV fam? Really… nice try, Gaston, but we know the spectacular mullet that was John Stamos’s 1980s ‘do, and yours, sir, is no John Stamos mullet.

The Unauthorized Full House premieres Saturday, Aug. 22 at 8 p.m. on Lifetime.