Warning Obama: Here's What You Need to Know Before You Venture with Bear Grylls
We hope you’re ready for Bear Grylls, Mr. President. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)
If President Obama can survive eight years of partisan bickering in Washington, we can understand his confidence about spending this week in the Alaskan wilderness with Bear Grylls. A frozen budget is more frightening than a little September chill, right?
But as someone who has actually been subject to Grylls’ idea of a good time in the mountains, I hope Mr. President is ready. I attended the Bear Grylls’ Survival Academy near Yosemite National Park last year (Grylls made a cameo appearance) and did everything from eating live bugs to cutting open my elbow while abseiling down a steep rock to shivering at night while trying to sleep without a bag.
Obama will receive a “crash course in survival techniques” while filming an episode of NBC’s Running Wild with Bear Grylls, though he isn’t in Alaska for mere adventure; he’s also calling attention to climate change, which is of particular concern in the Arctic.
Bear Grylls talks survival at his academy. The already bruised writer is to the left. (Photo: Bear Grylls Survival Academy)
Based on my experience and some of Grylls’ craziest stunts, here are some challenges the president, and maybe even his Secret Service, could be experiencing right now:
Prepare to eat some live food
Bear Grylls made me do this with a live worm. (Photo: Bear Grylls Survival Academy)
At least there are no scorpions or snakes in Alaska – Grylls is known to eat them while they’re still alive. But we’re sure he can find some edible critters for Obama, just as he found a live worm and live grub for me to eat. I said it then and I’ll say it now: grubs actually taste good.
We hope you like reindeer blood
President Obama will need to go running in Alaska, and what better way than to chase down reindeer? We’re sure Grylls can show him how to gut one open and eat its heart. And what better way to chase that down than with a glass of freshly spilled reindeer blood? After all, it’s full of protein!
Related: Fly Safer: Tips to Help You Survive a Plane Crash
How about sleeping inside a dead animal?
While at Grylls’ camp I tried to be macho and boast that I was the only person who slept under my shelter without a sleeping bag, with nothing but leaves to cushion me. And I accomplished this, except that I didn’t exactly sleep – I was too busy chattering my teeth for that. So if Grylls shows Obama how to sleep inside an animal carcass the way he once carved open and slept inside a dead camel, I say, hold your nose and enjoy the warmth. It once saved Luke Skywalker’s life on Hoth, after all.
Brush up on your rappelling skills
An Alaskan glacier. (Photo: IvyAChin / Flickr)
Word is that Grylls and Obama will be hiking down a melting glacier, and it wouldn’t surprise us at all if some ropes are required. While rappelling near Yosemite with Grylls’ instructors, I slammed into the side of a rock and cut my elbow open. I hope Obama escapes similar injury.
If you can’t filter your own water, you may have to drink urine
Finding drinkable water is much more important than finding food when trying to survive, and there are both high-tech and low-tech ways to filter it, be it a UV purifier or your own sock (I did the latter). We don’t think even Grylls would subject Obama to the most desperate drinking option of all – urine – but all we can say is that he has experience.
Be ready to save Grylls if you need to
There is, of course, an alternate survival dilemma: Grylls is just adventurous enough to get himself hurt, and if he does, Obama had better be ready. During my survival camp we simulated an emergency scenario where I suffered a broken leg and was dying of shock. Let’s hope Mr. President learns how to start a fire to call for help and how to turn twigs into a splint. It could become one of his best bailouts while in office.
Greenland: Where Polar Bear, Seal and Fox Skin Is In
Let Yahoo Travel inspire you every day. Hang out with us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. Check out our original adventure travel series A Broad Abroad.
