Why You're Attracted to Men Like Your Dad
Most of us are familiar with the Freudian Oedipus complex, but we might not be as familiar with the Electra complex, which is when women fall for men who are like their dads.
You might not think you choose guys like your dad, but your mind has a way of falling back on the familiar.
Finally, a relationship expert has let us in on the reason women choose partners who are similar to their fathers both physically and personality-wise.
In an interview with Marie Claire U.K., Judith Wright says, “You might think that you’re dating the extreme opposite to your father, and yet the unconscious mind finds a way of slipping back into what’s comfortable.”
When we’re young, “pre-sexual programming” occurs, where we start to form relationship ideals based on those around us, like our parents.
Various situations women grow up in can make them more likely to opt for a men similar to their dads.
For example, women with bad father-daughter relationships will unintentionally fall for similar men because they feel they can “do a better job this time around,” Wright says.
Women who didn’t have father figures growing up are likely to fall for older men, hoping to fill the empty space their fathers left.
On the other hand, women with supportive fathers are more likely to succeed romantically.
Linda Nielsen, a professor of educational and adolescent psychology at Wake Forest University in North Carolina, affirms this on Family Studies.
“A girl who has a secure, supportive, communicative relationship with her father is less likely to get pregnant as a teenager,” Nielsen writes. Women with good father-daughter relationships are also less likely to suffer from a range of illnesses, including depression, anorexia, and body dysmorphia, she says.
Wright assures those worried about dating someone like their dad that it isn’t a bad thing, as long as the partner shares his best qualities.
She suggests women should see their relationships as completely separate from their parents. Only then can they “break free from the Electra complex and fully move on.”
