The 14 Absolute Best Things About Dating a Short Guy
By Tess Koman
1. You will never again tear a neck muscle for love. Kissing is better, eye contact is stronger, talking is easier. One out of every four relationships is derailed by an easily preventable neck strain.
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2. He makes a nice little spoon too. Even if you’re not really into it, it’s nice to have the option.
3. Even small heels make you feel like a super model. You love him and all his lil’ness, but you also love a pair of stupidly high heels and how great they make you feel even when you’re awkwardly a head taller than him.
4. When you wear your most comfortable shoes (flats, obvs), you are the perfect height for each other. It’s easy to underestimate how important it is just to look each other right in the eye.
5. He probably has delicious Napoleonic tendencies. There’s some instinctual part of him that will always feel like he needs to compensate for something. Enjoy that compensation in bed.
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6. He appreciates your height-blind love more than a taller man. Probably while he was chilling in a bar in college, a tall, beautiful woman pointed at him and drunk whisper-yelled to her friend, “He’s so cute but also so short. I just could never, you know?” She’s a sad, vague memory now, and you are the most beautiful lady in the world to him.
7. When you need to complain about something beyond your control, he empathizes. He wouldn’t change a thing about you, but he understands why you want to talk about the four freckles you don’t like.
8. You look unintentionally badass in his clothes. The only reason you paid $110 for cropped boyfriend jeans this spring is because Katie Holmes went out in her shortie ex Tom Cruise’s pants looking so badass the trend is still going, six years later.
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9. Even when he puts your wine glasses on the top shelf, you can still get to them when you need to. His beer stein is up there too, and he’s got to be able to reach that easily.
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10. King-size beds take up so much room; you don’t need one! You can enjoy sex on a conveniently compact full-size bed!
11. Once you are in bed, you have plenty of room for yourself. Sex is great and cuddling is lovely, but there is nothing more delicious in this whole wide world than spreading out your limbs on your own bed without hitting him in the face or kicking his shins. When it comes to bed-sharing: compact limbs FTW.
12. He’ll never use your head as an armrest. That annoying thing really tall people do every so often where they rest their elbow on your head, look down and say, “Hey, how’s the weather down there?” Yeah, he’s never done that to you.
13. He’s got perspective on what’s important. He probably cared for a while about how he looked to other people. Now he’s all grown up and he doesn’t give a shit what people think about anything. Perspective is always an invaluable quality in a partner.
14. You’ll never have to sacrifice the top of his head for the sake of a cute Instagram. Because couples who selfie well together, stay together.
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