#LoveWins: What Happened When I Took 7 Same Sex Chinese Couples Gay Marriage Shopping in LA
Photos Courtesy of “We Do”
June 26, 2015, marks a momentous moment in history as the Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage, declaring it legal and equal in all 50 states. This is not a decision that we in the LGBT community take lightly; it’s a turning point in American history. But for seven LGBT couples from China, where same-sex marriage is neither legal nor recognized, their own history happened a few weeks earlier. After having won a high-profile, online contest back home, they were flown to Los Angeles for an all-expense paid dream wedding.
And I got to be a part of their life changing experience.
Sponsored by the Chinese e-commerce giant Alibaba and Blued, a gay Chinese dating app, seven couples were picked from more than 2,000 video entries vying for the chance to get married in America in the “We Do” contest. Though their union will be legal here in the States, their marriage won’t be recognized once they return home to China, despite the growing acceptance of same-sex couples there.
“The progress that’s been made in terms of gay rights, for want of a better word, in China has been astronomical,” Geng Le, the CEO of Blued, which has about 15 million members, told the BBC.
Regardless of the victory here in the U.S. today or the ongoing fight for gay rights around the world, I was excited to have the opportunity to help those seven couples prep for their big day. Love, American style as I called it. Of course, their first dilemma was, “What should I wear?”
What you are going to wear on your big day can be the most important fashion question you are ever going to tackle your entire life. One of my best friends is getting married this August, and she enlisted me to help with the dress all the way back in March. But with her, it was just about finding that perfect white dress, sexy enough and timeless enough to look good in photos 50 years from now. Her fiancé will be decked out in a classic white jacket tux. But what if the wedding were two grooms or two brides, what is the fashion choice then? Do you match? Do you deliberately NOT match? Do you keep it all in the same color family? And do two brides both wear dresses? Of course, there are no clear cut fashion rules because there have been no established same sex wedding traditions. Those traditions are just being created right now.
I spent the better part of a day with these couples touring through all the shops of the Beverly Center, a towering shopping plaza with some of the best retailers in the middle of Los Angeles, offering advice on having their stylish fantasy American wedding. Of these seven young couples, six were male and just one female, and getting them dressed for their big day was an important task. I discussed trends with many of them but realized quickly that none of them wanted to be traditional. Despite the fact that some of their English was minimal and I do not speak Mandarin - we mostly communicated through a translator - I could immediately tell, even with out language barrier, that tradition was not on their agenda. At least, not tradition in the way we know it. We were working to establish new traditions.
During our shopping spree at the Beverly Center, I offered my fashion expertise. I advised the guys to opt for colorful matching tuxedos or a 3-piece suit a la the Rat Pack, sporty elements and accessories (plaid bowtie, anyone?) to offset anything predictable. For the young ladies, I suggested they go for something that made them feel their absolute best. That turned out to be a romantic lace dress with pearls for one, and a long vest paired with cropped pants and maroon shoes for the other. Dressed and armed with their wedding bands from Tiffany & Co., these seven couples were ready.
They all wed the following day at the West Hollywood Library, which was packed with cameras, in a ceremony officiated by the Mayor of West Hollywood. The location was coincidentally the same place where, two years earlier, gay couples married en masse after same-sex marriage became legal in California. And as of today, legal across our country. #LoveWins
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