Disabled couples on how they show physical love
Disabled people have happy, healthy relationships just like able bodied people do - despite there being little representation of this on-screen and in the media.
And, when there is representation, disabled characters are often looked upon as "brave" and an "inspiration" which blogger Jessica Kellgren-Fozard says can be patronising as hell.
That's why this Twitter thread asking couples to share how they show love is so important, and why it's gone viral.
Imani Barbarin first posted on Twitter, asking:
Disabled People:
What are some of the physical ways your partner makes you feel loved that are different from the way abled people show love?
And Imani's question has sparked hundreds of moving responses.
@KatAMacfarlane explained her partner had been creative with his talents, so she could join in too.
Had an amazing bf at 20 who was a killer salsa dancer. He made up new moves for me that would take the pressure off my knees. I danced!
- Kat Macfarlane (@KatAMacfarlane) June 22, 2018
Disability activist @4WheelWorkOut explained her partner used touch to make her feel loved.
He touches my scars and stubs. I used to flinch bc scars and stubs. But that’s one way I knew he loved me
- Four Wheels ♿️ (@4WheelWorkOut) June 24, 2018
@shaindonnelly said just being believed was a huge support in a relationship.
Sometimes my muscles get so painful and hard that they feel like bones, and my husband will rub them for me and say “oh, it’s really bad today,” which makes me feel better because he is letting me know that he knows I’m not faking.
- Shain Donnelly (@shaindonnelly) June 24, 2018
Shain added, "(You experience so many people and doctors who think you’re faking when you have an invisible disability and it’s a relief to be supported.)"
Meghan, posting under @Bakpaksgotjets said the best thing her partner did was respecting her body, and her needs.
Honestly by NOT initiating intimacy because he knows how painful endo has made sex for me. He waits (and often waits some more) for me to feel like maybe it won’t hurt too much or at all, and then let him know.
- 🐥Bacon theFett 🥓 (@Bakpaksgotjets) June 22, 2018
And other users wrote about how dedicated their partners were.
He dresses me on days I can't dress myself. He feeds me on days I can't feed myself. It's not just affection, but dedication. https://t.co/lIHsGIpjlp
- Kim from Kansas ☭ ♿ (@kim_from_kansas) June 22, 2018
"He dresses me on days I can't dress myself. He feeds me on days I can't feed myself. It's not just affection, but dedication," wrote @kim_from_kansas.
@kelsdi said the most supportive thing her partner's done is just accept her.
When we were first dating and my partner found out about my heart condition, he just accepted it and didn't ask invasive questions. He helps me out of bed every morning and pulls me into a hug so I can lean on him while I stabilize. Literally my rock. I love him so much.
- K.Diane (@kelsdi) June 22, 2018
@Lyndsie_Laura's partner is so thoughtful it makes her cry on occasion.
When my husband gets groceries, he opens jars, bottles, and seals because I’m unable to. I open the fridge in the morning and cry bc he is so considerate and thoughtful. He also always drops everything to lie down with me when I’m having a panic attack.
- Lyndsie Holmes (@Lyndsie_Laura) June 23, 2018
And @tinaprice02 explained her partner is going through stuff too, but always manages to make her laugh.
My hubby suffers from Bipolar and i have anxiety and reactive depression. No matter how he is feeling, if im upset or down he will always make me laugh even if he doesnt want to laugh himself. Weve had tough times but our laughter always gets us through xx
- Tina Price (@tinaprice01RRR) June 24, 2018
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