What Did Queen Elizabeth and Justin Trudeau Talked About in Their Private Audience?
Photo: Getty.
Today, at the tea-toting Scottish Palace of Holyroodhouse, Queen Elizabeth II and Justin Trudeau met for the second time in recorded history since he became the Canadian prime minister. (We say “recorded,” because we imagine that they have a secret yet robust mentor-mentee relationship like a diplomatic, designer handbag–wielding Mr. Miyagi and a Canadian-nice Karate Kid that stretches generation gaps and time zones and continents and . . . no? It’s only us? Well, then.)
Their audience was private, which means, alas, we may never know what was said within those hallowed halls. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t have some fun and speculate wildly about possible conversation topics, right?
Now, here’s what you need to know about the queen—these conversations last 20 minutes. Exactly 20 minutes. Because the monarch has such a precise body-clock that, when a meeting starts to even remotely exceed 20 minutes, an internal alarm is triggered and she moves on. It’s a gift—no, a superpower—and we are not worthy.
So, with that in mind, here’s our imagined conversation about what could, should, and was-probably-but-okay-maybe-not brought up between these two power players—in five four-minute intervals.
1. Canada
Ok, yes, snooze. But it sounds like the country was probably mentioned at least once: the prime minister’s office told the press that their meeting was meant to “honor her importance to Canada’s history and to thank her for her continued dedication to Canada.” Now, speaking of Canada . . .
2. Prince Charles
Guess who was just there? Prince Charles, who kicked off an official royal visit in honor of the country’s 150th birthday last week! He had quite the trip, listening to Inuit throat singers, rocking out to U2, and delivering an impassioned speech about Canadian virtues. Not a bad business trip, we must say! Oh, business trips, that reminds us . . .
3. The G-20 Summit
How’s the preparation for that big meeting going? The real reason the prime minister is in Europe is not to chat with royals but to attend the G-20 summit, a global gathering where many of the world’s leaders will discuss all things economic. With the U.K.’s Brexit and America’s trade rhetoric, this year’s summit is gearing up to be a controversial affair. So it’s quite possible that they discussed how to best steer the international discourse and avoid financial turmoil. (It’s not looking good: “At G-20 summit, it looks more and more like Trump against the world,” blared The Washington Post this morning.) Wait, this just got depressing, didn’t it?
4. His Socks
On a lighter note—how about those socks? Trudeau’s known to rock some fancy footwear, from rainbow stripes for Toronto’s Pride parade to an R2-D2 and C-3PO match-up for Star Wars Day. We could totally imagine the charismatic politician donning a Union Jack pair for the occasion, and Queen Elizabeth II being completely charmed. How cheeky!
5. An Absolute Outrage
But not as cheeky as this Shetland pony who tried to straight up eat the queen’s flowers today. And not just any flowers, but a bouquet that was given to the queen by a joyous young child and with a package that perfectly matched her pink outfit. How dare you, mini horse, how dare you.
Okay, maybe the last one is a stretch. But give it to us, will you? It’s been a depressing news day.
This story originally appeared on Vogue.
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