7 Reasons You Should Never Eat Jell-O
Being a food editor, I tend to pride myself on having good taste from time to time. No, I'm not a foodie (I despise the word), but I enjoy eating delicious things. What many people don't know about me is that I grew up in a household that served Jell-O salad ... every single Thanksgiving. Even when I was 10 years old, the annual Jell-O appearance was a huge source of embarrassment for me. I grew a deep level of disdain for the jiggle. Here's why no one should eat it.
1. IT'S HOSPITAL FOOD
And we all know those are the worst. Jell-O is administered to sick and recovering patients whose bodies don't have the strength to digest something more than sugary liquid. Fine, but then leave it to be a sweet treat when you're in recovery, not something on your holiday table.
2. THE JIGGLE!
A visual that never fails to make me feel nauseous: See a plate of Jell-O, gently tap it, and watch its natural movement. OK, you caught me. The pliable texture does make them great for alcoholic shots. But that's it.
3. JELL-O MOLDS
The mold is how Jell-O supplanted itself in American history-the company handed out free molds to immigrants coming through Ellis Island. Crazy, right?! I get that these had their heyday, but let's move on. Jell-O molds are no longer a party trick.
4. BILL COSBY
When the face of the your brand for more than 30 years-apparently one of the longest-running celebrity brand endorsements in the U.S.-gets charged for drugging and sexually assaulting dozens of women, I say shame on you, too.
5. SAVORY "SALADS"
I grew up with a mom who grew up with a mom who made Jell-O salads. Family gathering? Jell-O salad. Holiday? Jello-O salad. Picnic? JELL-O SALAD. Fortunately, mine stuck with fruit varieties, like mandarin orange and cranberry, but there's a whole world of recipes out there for savory gelatin salads, combining ingredients like celery and olives with mayo (!) and gelatin.
6. THERE'S A "JELL-O BELT"
Yup, just like the good ol' Rust Belt, there's a Jell-O Belt, where the most Jell-O is consumed in the world. The heart of it? Utah, where residents eat twice as much as much of the jiggly stuff than anywhere else. I find this disturbing.
7. IT HAS CLOSE TIES TO COUGH SYRUP
Jell-O's inventor sidelined as a maker of cough syrups and laxatives. Likely having powdered fruit flavors on hand for his medicines, he made the original four flavors of Jell-O in 1897.
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