6-Year-Old Told to Cover Up at the Pool
As many parents do on a hot summer day, Stephanie Felkai took her two young daughters to their local public pool in Montreal. Felkai’s 6-year-old daughter wore her favorite swimsuit shorts without a top. A lifeguard approached Felkai and said that her daughter needed to cover up with a bathing suit top.
Felkai felt this was unfair since the upper body of a 6-year-old — whether it’s a boy or a girl — looks basically the same, and she argued that if young boys don’t have to cover up on top, why should young girls who haven’t developed yet?
“At her age, she’s indistinguishable from a boy,” Felkai told CBC. “Her physique is exactly the same as a boy’s. So how does anyone even know to approach her to tell her she’s not wearing an appropriate bathing suit?”
According to Felkai, the lifeguard responded that women are asked to cover their breasts and genitals, while men must cover their genitals. “I said, ‘Yes, that’s for a woman and a man, but this is a girl,‘” Felkai said.
She added: “There’s no gender or age related to this rule. It said that people need to not be nude or partially nude. My interpretation is that my daughter is partially covered because her genitals are covered.”
The mom filed a complaint with the borough, explaining that she would like the rules amended for young children. “My concern for my daughter in my situation is, I don’t want her to be forced to identify as girly too early,” she said. “We don’t need that. Just let them be.”
Borough spokesman Daniel Bussières to CBC that bathing suits are required for anyone going to the pool and that includes tops for women. However, Bussières added that the lifeguard who approached Felkai about her little girl may have been “overzealous” in following the rules.
Kristin J. Carothers, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute in New York City, notes that this is a tricky situation. “The issue that arises with this scenario is whether or not guidelines for bathing suits at public pools should apply to young children,” she tells Yahoo Style. “One could argue that the guidelines for wearing bathing suits at public pools are in place to ensure that genitalia are covered for health and safety reasons.”
She adds that it can also lead to some confusion: “When we think of teaching children about ‘good touches’ and ‘bad touches’ to protect them from predators, we usually send the message that any area that could be covered with a bathing suit should not be touched by anyone, and that a child should immediately report inappropriate touching to an adult. [However,] at 6 years of age, boys’ and girls’ chests are similar. Usually, boys are not expected to wear tops, while girls are, because they will eventually develop breasts. In this particular case, it seems that the mother does not believe allowing her 6-year-old daughter to swim without a bathing suit top would put her at risk for harm.”
Carothers notes that if Felkai wants her young daughter to be able to swim without a top, she may need to find other outlets for now. “This mom might have to comply with the rules at the public pool; however, she also has the right to decide if her daughter should swim with a top in places where there isn’t the rule, like private pools,” she says, “or she can decide not to take her daughter to pools that have those rules.”
Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest for nonstop inspiration delivered fresh to your feed, every day.
