13 Women Share Their Best (Worst?) Stories of Dates That Went Horribly Wrong

Photo credit: NBC
Photo credit: NBC

From Redbook

Women these days are pretty damn busy and care too much to settle on a random guy. Whether they're not in love with his personality, he doesn't have the greatest sense of style, or he chews with his mouth open, it doesn't matter - women no longer feel the need to be tied down to a man and are free to be a superficial as they wish. Check out a round-up awful (but hilarious!) dating dealbreaker moments, thanks to Reddit, that left these ladies saying, "see ya never."

1. He Never Learned Basic Table Manners

"Date was going great, nice guy, really sweet, very smart. When he ate he took like four or five bites at a time before chewing. He filled his face as full as legally possible. His cheeks would bulge out and he could barely keep his lips shut. You could see all the food mashed up and grinding around through his little mouth hole. I knew in that moment that I hated him." -effieokay

2. He Was a Weird Poet

"Second date: wrote me a poem and made me read it in front of him, it had lines about holding me and how great it was - he hadn't touched me yet." -letsgetlostbye

3. He Made Sure It Was Over Before It Started

"I met this guy off Tinder, he showed up to my house with an overnight bag ... And then it was over before it started." -mandspants

Photo credit: Giphy
Photo credit: Giphy

4. He Had a Very Different Idea of a Dinner Date

"My moment.

He invited me over to his place for dinner. He filled us each a plastic cup with of some kind of grape wine (like a Boones Farm type). I asked for a glass of water, and he grabs a large Styrofoam Smoothie King cup, fills it with water, and hands it to me. Reddit. This cup had obviously been around the block a few times, because it had those teeth indentions everywhere on the brim of the cup. I ask, 'Do you not have cups?' His response, '...that is a cup.'

Technically, he was right. I mean, why invite me over for dinner if you're not prepared? He also only owned one knife, did not have any tables or chairs to sit at, and did not own any plates. He ate out of the skillet, I ate my food on the box it came on.

Not some 19-year-old who hasn't had time to get it together.

He was making steak and sweet potatoes, which he was very adamant he had never made before, so he wasn't sure how it would turn out. He asked me to dice the sweet potatoes but did not have a peeler, vegetable knife, or cutting board. He handed me his only knife, a deer knife, which he kept in his pocket. After the steaks were done, I asked what we would cut our steaks with. He said,'Well... I was gonna use my knife.' and then we stood in silence as I wondered if I was setting some crazy expectations. Then, we ate in silence as we stood in his kitchen. We moved to a small end table in the living room after I said something about wanting to sit while I eat (I'm needy). He asked me if I liked the end table, I said sure, he said he found it in the alley behind their place. For dessert, he bought one of those little strawberry shortcakes for $5.99. Pulls it out of the freezer and it's frozen solid.

Also, after dinner, he asked me to get him a glass of water. I just started saying,'Really? REALLY? Where? With what cup??' and he FOUND A GLASS FOR HIMSELF, WASHED IT, HANDED IT BACK TO ME TO FILL UP IN THE SINK HE JUST WASHED THE GLASS IN. Power move." -lexi1552

Photo credit: Giphy
Photo credit: Giphy

5. He Wouldn't Let Her Speak

"Nice guy, nice date. Except that he got annoyed every time I interrupted him to respond to something he just said. It was impossible to keep a conversation going because he would ramble on and when he was finally done talking I had at least three different things to respond to.

The conversations couldn't evolve because he didn't allow me to jump in with answers, counterarguments, or points of view." -BloodyHatManiac

6. He Was Not a Gentlemen

"He made reservations at one of the most expensive restaurants in our city. When I sheepishly offered to split it, he says, 'oh, you didn't think I was going to pick this all up right? I don't have that kind of money.' I don't care about how much money you have bro, but if we're splitting it, I get to have a say in where we are going. I was in college and could barely afford my half. I never answered him again after that." -billygoat489

7. He Tried to Mansplain Science

"I went on a first date with a guy who was a class away from getting his doctorate in something (don't quite remember cause it was four years ago). Date was going well and, trying to get to know him more, I asked about his work. I remember him saying he worked in a lab and then explained in detail about what he does. He was very very smart and I had absolutely no clue what he was talking about. I told him flat out, in a polite way that I had no clue what he was talking about, but it sounded interesting. I remember that he then got this disgust/disappointment look on his face. He then said (this I completely remember), 'I guess I have to dumb it down for you... you know how in South Park,' (side note...we were talking about tv shows and I mentioned I thought that season happen to be funny), 'that scientist created a monkey with four asses just because? Well that's kinda what I do. I create things just because and learn from that. Do you understand now?' At that point I was done. Just because I don't what you are doing, doesn't mean I am dumb. After that night he texted me a few times and I didn't respond. Finally, he sent me one last one demanding to know why I wasn't responding and I said 'l guess I have to dumb it down for you... remember in South Park when Wendy doesn't want to date Stan anymore? So she ignores him?? This is what I'm doing. Do you understand now?' Never heard from him again." -always_an_adventure7

Photo credit: giphy
Photo credit: giphy

8. He Was a Little Too...Gassy

"He farted. Now one fart, that's just hilarious. But multiple farts, making it sound like your digestive system is going to explode - combined with the smell of a thousand rotting corpses - just... no. I don't date much, and he was a good guy. I just couldn't get past the endless farting." -KirinG

Photo credit: Giphy
Photo credit: Giphy

9. His Choice of Tie Was Horrendous

"First date - I hadn't realized he had a pierced ear until he showed up with a dangly feather earring. I don't really like pierced ears on a guy, but I'll deal with it. Not a big feather earring, though. Still - it was OK. Thought I'd give it a second chance - wouldn't it be terribly superficial to not give it a try over a feather earring? Maybe I wore something he didn't like, too, but he overlooked it! I invited him to a friend's Christmas party at a hotel.

Second date - shows up for theChristmas party wearing a tie with cartoon cows fucking in a variety of positions. I was torn. I like the idea of wearing something slightly different. I do not like the idea of showing up to meet new people at a cocktail party with cows doing it doggy style all over my chest. He said, 'Is this making you horny, Baby,' like Austin Powers. I realized it wasn't just the clothes that were a concern. I just didn't think we had much in common if he thought all that was a good idea, even if it was small."

10. Run As Fast As You Can

"Told me he loved me. It was our first date." -anthropomorphicalien

Photo credit: Giphy
Photo credit: Giphy

11. He Said He Wouldn't Pay for a Second Coffee

"I always go on a date expecting to pay my half, but as you know, a lot of men pay for at least the first date.

Anyway, we were at a coffee shop and he stepped up to the counter, placed his order, looked back and me and asked me what I wanted. Since this seemed like a pretty obvious sign that he was going to pay, I gave him my order and said thank you. He paid for the coffees, handed me mine, and said, 'Don't expect this every time.'

Are you kidding me?? I didn't expect this in the first place, asshole. Unsurprisingly, the date didn't get better." -DSNor

13. He Started Talking About Prenups

"This is super dumb and I had no reason to get upset over it, but here it goes:

Dude started talking about his last relationship, and how it ended because they started talking about getting married and she said due to some serious family money she would need to have a prenup in place. He said he could never marry someone with a prenup because it would indicate that she didn't really love him.

I worked in a law firm at the time and thought that was the dumbest damn thing I'd ever heard in my life." -danisaurrusrex

13. He Called Her By the Wrong Name

"I had been on a few dates with this guy. Military, college educated, southern man. Seemed nice. But he would get really upset if I didn't let him stay the night. He would even pull the excuse that I let him stay that late, so he should be allowed to sleep over. I relented, but nothing happened.

He asked me to a military ball. I was stoked. I got the nice dress, make up, hair, etc. I felt like a princess. Well, he wouldn't keep his hands off of me. And then, we did the official receiving line. And he introduced me as the wrong name. OK, whatever. But he did it all night. To a couple people.

We had one dance before I told him I wanted to call it a night. He took me home. I wouldn't let him come inside, and he exploded on me. He paid the money for the ball, so why couldn't he come inside? He was always a 'gentleman' when he slept over, so why couldn't he tonight? Nope, have a good night.

He called me a few weeks later. He told me I was a selfish person, who didn't care about him or anyone else. And his excuse for introducing me as the wrong person? He was 'nervous'". -pinkcamo37

Photo credit: Giphy
Photo credit: Giphy

(Answers have been lightly edited for spelling and grammar.)

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