Teen Who Begged to Be Adopted: 'My Journey’s Not Over Yet'
Connie Going officially adopted 17-year-old Davion Only-Going during court proceedings on April 22. (Photo: Tim Boyles Photography)
A 16-year-old whose plea to be adopted went viral in 2013 officially has a new mom.
Davion Only-Going was formally adopted by his adoption specialist, Connie Going, on April 22. In October 2013, he spoke in front of a church congregation in St. Petersburg, Fla., in hopes of finding a forever family. He had recently learned that his biological mother, who’d been in jail since he was born, had died. Only-Going had spent years bouncing between foster homes. “My name is Davion and I’ve been in foster care since I was born,” he said. “I know God hasn’t given up on me, so I’m not giving up either.”
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His plea went viral and resulted in 10,000 inquiries to his foster agency, but he never found the right fit. A family in Ohio briefly took him in, but later changed their minds after Only-Going got in a fight with one of the other kids in the house.
Now, two years later, it’s official. Connie Going, the adoption specialist who has known Only-Going for ten years, is his new mom. “I think this is the beginning of a different part of the journey,” she tells Yahoo Parenting. “Now we will move through life together as a family. We love each other, and along with that comes a lot of wonderful things.”
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Connie Going with her four kids (from left, Taylor, 14, Sydney, 21, Davion, 17 and Carley, 21) plus the judges who presided over the adoption of Davion Only-Going. (Photo: Tim Boyles Photography)
The first of those new things? Only-Going’s last name, which he changed from Only. “I was happy he did that,” Going says.
The 52-year-old mom, who has three other children, including a son who was also adopted out of foster care, says the official adoption proceedings went by so quickly she could barely process what happened. “You wait and wait and wait, and then finally it’s here, and the ceremony is very quick,” she says. “But it was a good day. We invited everyone who has been a support to our family. The day was almost surreal. You barely believe you’re really a family until you start to live it afterwards.”
Only-Going says he was glad to share his special day with so many people who are close to him. “I have a lot of people who care for me. I have my biological family — my auntie and my uncle and my grandma. I have a mentor, named Richard Prince,” he tells Yahoo Parenting. “It’s not like I have only one family.”
And while, in the eyes of the law, Going is his official family, she says embracing Only-Going’s entire support system will be the key to moving forward. “In the adoption system, we know it takes more than just one person,” she says. “It’s really important for people to understand that with this kind of adoption, a child comes with everyone they’re already attached to. You have to embrace that or it doesn’t work.”
In this new chapter, the biggest challenge for Only-Going might be trusting the new arrangement. “I’ve been in the system so long, and I know I could I be put back in it,” he says. “But I feel good about this.”
Going says she plans to prove to Only-Going that she’s committed for the long haul. “When you’ve been in the foster care system for as long as Davion has, it really takes a lifetime to feel secure,” she says. “But I’ve told him, there’s nothing he can do that would change the fact that I’m here for him and we’re a family. I have another son who is 15, whose first adoptive family gave him back, so I know it happens. But I tell them, you may be in your 30s and 40s and having babies and grandbabies, and I’ll still be here.”
For now, the 17-year-old is excited to live life as a regular kid, enjoying some of the privileges he wasn’t afforded in foster care, like getting his license. “I have my permit now,” Only-Going says. But his most important new privilege? “I have freedom.”
Going agrees that it will be nice to reestablish a sense of normalcy in her home, now that the long adoption process is over. “The microscope of being in the system and opening your home to guardians and social workers, there’s a stress with that,” she says. “Not having that fear of ‘Well, what if this or that happens? They can take him away,’ will help us move forward. Now that that weight is gone, I feel a lot more comfortable and relaxed.”
Only-Going says he hopes he will be an example to other kids in foster care. “I want them not to lose hope,” he says. “If you keep believing, keep pushing, this may happen for you. But even if it doesn’t, don’t give up. And for families who are going to adopt, make sure you are sure. When you do adopt a kid, stick with him and do not let go. Do not give up. When it’s all said and done, it will be the best thing that ever happened to you.”
For Only-Going, that kind of hope and determination will define his life, he says. “My journey’s not over yet,” he says. “I’ve always said I am going to be successful with a family or without one.”
Today, He and Going are both pretty happy he’s got one.
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