This Christmas, Parents Are Throwing Out the Budget

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'Tis the season to shop — and, for many, to seriously overspend. More than a quarter of the parents polled in a new Upromise by Sallie Mae survey aren’t even bothering to set a budget. And of those who do plan to budget, less than half expect to stick to it. Overspending is such an issue, in fact, that nearly a third of the parents polled are already planning to work extra hours this winter to make up for it!

"It’s human nature to get caught up in the craziness of the season," Laura Vanderkam, author of All the Money in the World: What the Happiest People Know About Getting and Spending, tells Yahoo Parenting. “For many, gifts wind up equaling love, especially with our kids. We want to give them everything they want, to show them how much we care.”

Related: Father of 8 Won’t Save Money for College

But is it really worth breaking the bank — not to mention your back — by working overtime, just for stuff?

"The best way to show kids you love them is by spending time with them, so if you have to spend a lot of time away from them to earn the money to buy lots of gifts, that may not be a good choice,” says Vanderkam. “Still, when you think about it, many of us do have time that we could turn into money if we wanted — time spent watching TV, for example. If you could take on an extra project or freelance work, that’s not a bad idea to prevent going into debt.”

Finance expert Lynnette Khalfani-Cox disagrees. “It’s just not worth it,” says the Money Coach founder. “Honestly, the reality is that most Americans have credit card debt, mortgages, bills to pay, and are woefully poor savers not setting aside enough for their kids’ college, let alone retirement. The things you should actually put sweat equity into, if you’re willing to work extra, should really be worthwhile goals, not things as frivolous as the ‘it’ toys of the season that your child will forget about by next year.”

Related: Does Your Child Have Too Many Toys?

Khalfani-Cox says she hears about this issue from clients every year. “Parents feel guilty about not spending enough time with their kids or worry about keeping up with the Joneses, and want to really pull out all the stops at the holidays,” she says. “But they really have to remember that ultimately, presence is more important than presents.”

Instead of getting sucked into a spend-a-thon, make a plan, she advises. And yes, that starts with the dreaded “b” word: budget. “Ideally, you should establish a preset spending limit of what you can pay in cash and stick to it,” says Khalfani-Cox. “If you know right off that’s just not going to be enough, look at what you can pay off on a credit card in a short time frame, one month, and set that as your max.” (Bonus points for using a card with zero percent interest or taking advantage of a balance-transfer offer.)

Next, shoppers need to get strategic. The money expert offers Yahoo Parenting her top three tricks for spending that stash by using your head, not your heart, so that you don’t end up with a massive debt hangover come January:

1. Divide up your budget by person on a shopping list.
Have a $500 budget and 10 people on your list? “Divvy it up on paper so you know that the $150 gadget you just spotted that your dad would love is $100 out of the budget,” and that buying it, she says, would mean that you couldn’t get any gifts for a couple of other people.

2. Bring a buddy to the mall with you. 
“You want a friend with you who’ll be willing to take you out of the store when you hit your limit,” Khalfani-Cox says. And for that you need a no-nonsense type, she says, such as a superdisciplined workout buddy. “You want to tap into that person who will help you be responsible.”

3. Set a time limit. 
Give yourself no more than two and a half hours to shop, and set a watch or cellphone alarm to buzz when your time is up. “You overspend if you spend too much time in stores,” advises Khalfani-Cox. “You get caught up with crowds and music and window shopping that encourages you to buy more, because, you’re telling yourself, ‘I’m getting in the holiday spirit! I’m taking part in the festivities!’” 

When all else fails, be sneaky, advises Vanderkam. If your child is just dying for a big-ticket iSomething, for example, “see if you can go in on it with other people, like grandparents or aunts and uncles.” Alternatively, figure out a cheaper way to get at what they really want. “Are they excited to play games on a tablet? Then look for the lowest-budget one,” she suggests.

And don’t feel guilty about it, adds Khalfani-Cox: “Children aren’t going to be damaged if you don’t spend loads of money at the holidays. They will be affected, however, if you can’t pay for college because you’re in debt.”