Inside the Battle Between Parents to Circumcise Their 4-Year-Old Son

Heather Hironimus has filed charges in federal court to keep her son’s dad from having their 4-year-old circumcised. (Photo: Heather Hironimus/Facebook)

Estranged parents battle it out in front of a judge for custody, child support, and where the kids spend school vacations. But one Florida mom and dad have been caught up in a messy two-year lawsuit over something unusual, even for warring parents: whether their four-year-old son should be circumcised.

Story: Mom Accused of Child Abuse for Daughter’s Outfit

In 2010, Heather Hironimus and Dennis Nebus, both of southern Florida, had a son together (referred to in court documents by his initials, C.R.N.H.). A year later, they signed a parenting agreement stipulating that Nebus was responsible for scheduling and paying for the boy to undergo circumcision.

But when Nebus reportedly tried to arrange the surgery, Hironimus changed her mind, refusing to allow her toddler to go under the knife. She told the court that circumcision was “not medically necessary” and she did not want him to have general anesthesia (which is what doctors do when performing the procedure on older children), “for fear of death,” according to court documents. In 2014, a Florida circuit court judge ordered Hironimus to allow the circumcision to go forward. Instead, she reportedly fled with the boy, and a warrant was issued for her arrest.

She reappeared this week, or rather her lawyer did, filing a federal lawsuit asking that the pro-circumcision decision be blocked, citing a violation of her son’s civil rights. Her son also “expressed that he does not want circumcision,” according to court documents, and that he was afraid of being forced to have the procedure.

Story: “My Son Had His First Birthday Party in Prison”

The court docs also laid out why circumcision isn’t medically necessary and can even cause emotional damage. (When reached by Yahoo Parenting, Nebus’ lawyer had no comment; Hironimus’ lawyer did not return a phone call.) As of Wednesday, the outcome of the case isn’t known. 

Circumcision is under fire these days, with some parents and doctors believing it’s needless, even barbaric, and shouldn’t be forced on a boy until he can decide what he wants to do with his foreskin. But many medical professionals have a different take. The American Academy of Pediatrics released a statement in 2012 saying that the health benefits outweigh the risks, and that the decision to circumcise a child should be left up to parents.

What’s so beneficial about having the foreskin removed? “Research shows a link between not being circumcised and higher rates of HIV and sexually transmitted diseases,” Harry Fisch, M.D., clinical professor of urology and reproductive medicine at Weill Cornell Medical College/New York Presbyterian Hospital and author of The Male Biological Clock, tells Yahoo Parenting. (Fisch is not involved in the lawsuit.) Uncircumcised boys are more likely to suffer urinary tract infections. And sometimes the foreskin tightens and develops small cracks, through which microbes can enter the body, says Fisch.

As to whether it’s unsafe for a toddler to be put under via general anesthesia, Fisch says there are always risks, but the odds of complications from the procedure are low. “It’s not uncommon for older boys to undergo circumcision, and though it is surgery, but risks are minimal,” he says.

Please follow @YahooParenting on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. Have an interesting story to share about your family? E-mail us at YParenting (at) Yahoo.com.