How the Race for Teacher Appreciation Gifts Has Spun Out of Control
Photo by Rob Lewine/Getty Images
As any parent who’s really active at her child’s school knows, few PTA emails spark more stress than those cheerful reminders about Teacher Appreciation Week being on the horizon. And it’s not because parents don’t want to express their gratitude to that special person who spends as much time with our kids as we do. It’s just that, in some towns, the pressure over what to give your kid’s teacher has reached epic proportions, with parents already chipping in for holiday, birthday, and end-of-year gifts. So by the time Teacher Appreciation Week arrives in May — during which time there is pressure to contribute to daily themed gifts, including lunches brought in by parents — many parents have had enough.
“Last year, our class gave the teacher $120 in different gift cards, and an email went out in case parents wanted to contribute more,” Samantha Wright (not her real name, as she feared repercussions for her attitude), a mom of two girls in Scottsdale, Arizona, tells Yahoo Parenting. “This year I almost lost it when the Twittersphere blew up with ‘back to school gift ideas.’ I definitely feel like this is a trend being led by overzealous moms, not teachers. But if you complain then you’re not a teacher supporter, so everyone just puts their head down.”
It’s easy to get carried away, agrees Andrea Bonior, licensed clinical psychologist and mom of three in Washington, D.C. “Maybe it’s because there are all these websites describing complicated gifts,” she says, “like a train set made of chocolate bars, or having each child bring in a fresh flower for the class parents to weave together and give to the teacher.”
Bonior believes parents are focusing on the wrong thing when they cook up elaborate presents that a teacher might not even like, and she worries that this gift-giving extravaganza is rooted in competition.
“If a room parent hears about another room parents’ excessive plans, she is immediately concerned that her child’s teacher will be disappointed,” Bonior says. “The room parent also worries that the parents in the class will feel like she’s dropped the ball. It becomes this situation where everyone is trying to keep up with each other, instead of focusing on small gestures and showing appreciation in smaller ways throughout the year.”
And for Holly Winter, a teacher at Morgridge Academy in Denver, Colorado, it’s the heartfelt gestures that matter most, not the mugs or gift cards.
“I have a vase in my classroom that was painted by a student and her grandmother,” Winter, who has taught for 25 years, tells Yahoo Parenting. “I have another that a boy filled with handmade origami flowers. I don’t think teachers want parents to spend a lot of money. In fact, it’s the letters my students have written to me over the years that have been the best gifts I could ever receive.” Something to remember next time that ad for an engraved crystal-apple paperweight pops up in your Facebook feed.
