Dads Can Define True Beauty for Their Daughters

Photo by  Laura Beach/Getty Images

By Tor Constantino 

The best part of beauty is that which no picture can express.
~Francis Bacon—-philosopher

I love the confidence that makeup gives me.
~Tyra Banks—-international super model

The two quotes above capture the spectrum of physical, human beauty.

The first quote alludes to a beauty that transcends mere physical features and expression, while the second implies a beauty that relies on an external facade to build up internal attributes.

The first is true beauty, the second is false. The first is inspiring, the second is actually quite sad.

While we see and recognize the enduring beauty of a panoramic sunset, the rolling surf or a majestic mountain—-those constant standards of nature don’t necessarily translate to humans.

Ironically, the only certainty of physical beauty is that it is subjective—-not everyone agrees on a single, enduring standard of physical beauty.

What was once beautiful by societal standards simply falls out of vogue over time and becomes boring.

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During the 16th Century, artist Peter Paul Rubens was fond of painting more full-figured female forms, which were the standard of beauty at the time. In fact Rubens penchant for that particular body type coined a description that bears his name Rubenesque.

Fast forward to the 1920s and rail-thin Flappers were the standard of beauty. Additionally, the taste-setters and fashion mavens on Madison Avenue are ever vacillating between aesthetic extremes that range from “heroin-chic” to “preppie-girl-next-door.”

The point being that there’s no universal standard for external human appearances.

However “true beauty,” is a lasting beauty that endures, improves over time and actually resides in the heart of anyone who believes in their own inner beauty—-a beauty shaped by kindness, joy, tolerance, selflessness, humor, love, compassion … etc.

I would assert that true beauty is a condition of the heart, not the skin. True inner beauty resides in the heart of its holder—-not the eye of the beholder.

Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.
~Saint Augustine—-theologian


My wife and I strive to nurture these concepts in the hearts of our daughters. Here are some of the points we constantly reinforce to them:

-Don’t fall into the trap of defining your worth by your outward appearance and physical attributes.

-Inner beauty is the only beauty that lasts.

-Don’t let false “beauty” standards established by society compel you to change and “measure up.”

-Celebrate your differences from others, that’s the spark of true beauty.

Whether these messages take root or not within our girls will manifest over time as they head into their teen years, but we want to instill  those ideas in them now.

The following quote hits the beauty bulls eye.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.
~Audrey Hepburn—-actress

Interestingly, the preceding quote suggests that even though others may have defined Ms. Hepburn by her beauty, she herself did not let it be her defining value.

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Originally appeared at The Good Men Project.

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