Dad Cooks Dinner? Don't Call Him 'Mr. Mom'
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More dads are stepping up in the kitchen, according to a recent article published in The New York Times that explored married men who, at the end of a long day, are rushing from work to daycare pickup, then home to roast a plump chicken carefully stuffed with rosemary, thyme and onion.
According to a 2013 study by researchers at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill the percent of men cooking jumped 42 percent in 2008 from just 29 percent in 1965. “Most likely the greatest influence on this trend is the rise of female breadwinners and stay-at-home-fathers,” says Liz O’Donnell, author of Mogul, Mom & Maid: The Balancing Act of the Modern Woman.
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The study also found as more women joined the work force, the percentage who cooked dropped during that period to 68 percent from 92 percent. “Gender shouldn’t dictate who brings home the bacon and who fries it up in a pan,” says O’Donnell. “This trend is also due to the men who are seeking roles that are much more integral to the lives of their families and require greater presence and engagement at home.”
Jamie, 33, a husband and dad from New Jersey, works fulltime and does most of the cooking. “My wife works too, so it’s important we share the household duties so no one feels overwhelmed,” he says.
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It doesn’t hurt that his two young daughters love his cooking. “Everyone is a member of the ‘clean plate club’ when I cook,” he jokes. Jamie admits that he enjoys cooking for his family and it doesn’t feel like a task. “I love making dishes I ate as a kid and sharing stories with my girls over the meal.” But it’s not just about homemade spaghetti Bolognese in Jamie’s home. “It’s important I show my daughters they don’t just belong in the kitchen because they are girls.” O’Donnell tells Yahoo Parenting that people should gravitate towards the roles they are best suited for, good at and enjoy, regardless of gender.
Still, according to the United States Bureau of Labor Statistics women spend more than twice as much time preparing meals than men on an average day. “Men are definitely doing more than ever before at home and that’s a good thing, but women still do the majority of invisible tasks like booking the doctor’s appointments, planning the birthday parties, signing the kids up for camp and sports,” says O’Donnell.
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She says in order to really close the gender gap we need to stop referring to dad as “Mr. Mom” when he cooks or does laundry. “It’s a terrible phrase because it implies home and children are the domain of women and that men are just helping out—that’s not true.”
