‘Crazy’ Photo of Jessica Simpson’s Husband, Mom Sparks Debate
While down in Mexico to celebrate her birthday, Jessica Simpson’s mom, Tina, posted a couple of photos on Monday via Instagram that show just how close she is to her daughters’ husbands. One shot is of Tina in a lounge chair, legs splayed in the air, with Jessica’s husband, Eric Johnson, resting his head on her crotch. Another shows her other son-in-law, Evan Ross, Ashlee Simpson’s husband, sitting in Tina’s arms while she smooches his cheek. The caption: “Blessed by the 2 best son in laws!!!”
It’s clear that the group was in party mode, and the public reaction to these shots is mixed. Someone on Instagram posted, “This is not how a mother-in-law and son-in-law should take pictures with one another. You should have respect for yourself and for your daughter. And the husband is wrong for this just like you.” Another simply wrote, “Crossed that boundary!” Still, others wrote supportive notes such as, “There’s nothing inappropriate about this picture. They were partying and having a fun time.” And “Happy birthday! Classic crazy moment.”
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When parents and adult children get together to celebrate, should there be boundaries? “There is a massive line you shouldn’t cross in terms of flirting or cozying up to spouses of your children,” Jill Weber, PhD, author of Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy: Why Women Settle for One-Sided Relationships, tells Yahoo Parenting. “It may seem fun and funny, but over time becomes confusing to all involved. Parents should not get their needs for validation or partying met through their kids.”
Tina with daughter Ashlee’s husband, Evan Ross. (Photo: Instagram/tinersimpson)
Family physician and parenting expert Deborah Gilboa, MD, takes a lighter stance on the issue. “Once we’re not supporting our children, but rather hanging out with them as adults, things are different,” she tells Yahoo Parenting. “There’s still some modeling going on, but if Tina’s OK with her children behaving the way she’s behaving, then it’s OK.” Gilboa does draw the line at sharing a photo, however. “It’s a little weird that Tina posted these,” she says.
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The key question to ask, though, according to Gilboa, is: Was anyone in the family put off by the behavior or the photos? If not, then there’s no problem. “We make an assumption that these pictures indicate disloyalty, but that’s only true if someone in the situation feels that way,” she says. “We can’t tell that from the outside looking in — there’s no way to know if people are bothered by it.”
For Gilboa, the reward of having done your job in raising kids to be independent adults is that “you get to form new kinds of relationships with them.” And those relationships can generally take whatever shape everyone agrees upon.
Weber argues that even when kids grow up, parents should continue to model healthy boundaries. “Successful adults typically keep good limits with alcohol and within their relationships,” says the clinical psychologist. “Your job, throughout your kids’ lifespan, is to model this and show them how it’s done.”
(Top photo: Instagram/tinersimpson)
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