Whether they know it or not, kids are quite funny. Between their vibrant imaginations and their curious observations, they can really keep you on your toes. Since teachers spend so much time with students of all ages (and personalities), they are exposed to all sorts of kid comedy.
Teachers of the BuzzFeed Community keep sharing their funniest moments from the classroom, and we keep laughing. Here are some more hilarious stories:
1."A small group of boys were playing in the tower connected to the slide on the playground and I heard one of my little instigators yell, 'Whoever farts the loudest goes first!'"
2."I teach pre-K, and we were talking to the class about Thanksgiving and the pilgrims. I asked if anyone knew the name of the ship that the pilgrims sailed on, and one little girl said, 'Yes, it was the cauliflower!'"
3."I taught middle school Mandarin Chinese. On this particular day, the students' bonus point assignment was due. They were to take any popular meme and make it relevant to class and in Chinese. One kid turned in a QR code that I stupidly decided to scan during class, and where did it take me? I got Rick-Rolled in Mandarin."
4."My friend is a biology teacher, and during the sex ed unit, she let students submit anonymous questions. She received this: 'If vaginas are only four inches long, why do girls expect guys to have such big dicks, bruh?'"
5."I once had almost an entire class of seventh graders stop doing their work to sing the 'apple bottoms jeans' verse of 'Low.' I just let it happen."
6."I teach preschool, and one time I was reading a book about animals in the zoo and the noises they make. It said that flamingos make a 'toot, toot' sound, and one little girl blurted out, completely seriously, 'Hey, sometimes I toot too!'"
7."A few years ago, I helped out in a two-year-old preschool classroom. One of the little boys had a difficult time with certain speech sounds, especially saying the 'tr' sound. One day, the children were playing on the floor with cars and trucks. He starts yelling, 'Where’s the dumb fuck? I want the dumb fuck!' I had no idea where he heard that from or why he would be cussing us out until I noticed where he was pointing and realized that he wanted the DUMP truck! 😂"
8."I was filling out some test paperwork for my fourth-grade students from the data their parents had sent me. One student's mother forgot to write his birthdate on the paper, so I asked him when his birthday was. He told me July 3. I asked what year. He looked at me confused and said, 'Every year!'"
9."My mom used to teach high school special ed. Some days, she would wear boots that came up to her mid-calf. Every time she wore them, one student always commented, 'Ms. Ross, you’re wearing stripper boots!'"
10."While teaching middle school years ago, we were reviewing vocabulary before a test on human anatomy and my class was stumped by the term 'rectum.' One boy, who was regularly pretty off-task and disruptive, suddenly blurted out, 'Hey, isn't that where your eyeball is?' Before I could even start to respond, another student deadpanned, 'No, but that's where yours is, Kevin.' We all lost it and poor Kevin just looked confused."
11."While I was teaching preschool, I asked a kid what he was drawing. He answered that he was drawing Jesus (his family's very Catholic). The little girl next to him, who is Jewish, asked who Jesus was. The boy answered that Jesus was a teacher. She thought for a second and asked, 'Does he teach mice?' The boy said, 'What?' They went back and forth like this for a minute, then finally the boy said, 'He teaches people.' The girl asked, 'Then why is his name Cheesus?' I could not stop laughing. I think about it every Christmas."
12."I had a kid ask me during passing period if he could go to the bathroom. After I said yes, he stopped and said never mind. I looked at him, a bit concerned, and he leaned close and whispered, 'I just farted.'"
13."I teach middle school ESL. Since they're not fluent in English, they tend to get their words mixed up. One day, my kids were partnered up making digital flashcards for their new vocabulary words. The flashcards all included a drawing of the word by one partner, and an example sentence using the word by the other partner. As we were reviewing their anonymous flashcards on the big screen towards the end of class, one of them had a picture of a person eating (I don't remember what the vocabulary word was) and an example sentence. Well, instead of saying, 'I'm so hungry!' their card said, 'I'm so horny!' One of the students proceeded to shout the sentence out loud. Thank god for my mask; they had no idea I was tearing up from laughing so hard. I never told them what the word means, just to not use it again, lol."
14."In 2020, when I was teaching Zoom preschool with a group of 4-year-olds, we were having 'show and tell' time (I asked them to find something in their house that began with the letter 'S'). Suddenly, I see one little girl start walking (because she is using her mom's cell phone for class) and she had the phone facing the floor, so all I could see was her feet. Then, I noticed that she was sitting down with feet dangling and I heard the sound of pee going into the toilet. Then, she quickly stood up, flushed, and returned to her spot on the couch (didn’t even wash hands, haha)! It happened so fast, and thank goodness her phone was turned down towards the floor! The other students were not even phased. They were too busy and engaged to even notice! But, I did! 😆"
15."I volunteered in a kindergarten classroom once a week up until the pandemic started. I was leading a small group in an arts and crafts project for President's Day. The kids began asking me (I'm in my 20s) if I was married or had a boyfriend. I said no, and one of them responded, 'So, what ARE you?!' 😂"
16."I teach pre-K, and every morning we sit on the carpet to start our circle time and sing the calendar song about the days of the week. One Tuesday, a little girl who is hyper and gets excited easily jumped up at the end and yelled happily, 'I’m wearing my Tuesday panties today!'"
17."I teach preschool — 4 and 5 year olds — so I have a ton of funny moments. One of my favorites was when one of the little boys ran up to me and said, 'Miss, how old are you?' I told him, then he said, 'Oh, so that's older than 15. My mommy said I can't say some words until I'm 15, but you can say them because you are older than 15.' I asked him what word he was referring to. He declared proudly, 'Mommy said not to say FUCK. I can only say it when I'm 15.' I laughed and once I had composed myself, I told him to tell my co-teacher. About 2 minutes later, I heard her burst out laughing. She then proceeded to take him upstairs to the lobby to tell our bosses. All you could hear a few minutes later was the three women laughing. At pick up, we asked him to tell his mom what he told us, and she also laughed."
18."I was teaching my honors kids Romeo and Juliet. At first, a bunch of the kids thought 'bosom' meant butt, so they thought that Tybalt was going around stabbing people in the ass!"
19."My third graders and I were reading a Jewish folktale together. We came to the word ‘rabbi,' and I asked if any of them knew what that was. They all sat silently, trying to figure out what it meant, when one student raised his hand and shouted out, 'I know what it is! A rabbi is a steak!' It took me a moment to figure out what he was talking about, but then it clicked and I had to explain that he was thinking of a ‘ribeye,' and that he shouldn’t pour steak sauce on a rabbi. I couldn’t stop giggling at that one."
20."I was singing 'Old MacDonald' with one of my preschool kids that had just learned how to swear and his version went like this: 'Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. And on that farm he had a FUCK!' I hadn’t been teaching long, so it was the first time I heard one of them swear. It took so much for me to not lose it."
21."I teach English for high school juniors. We were going over a reading comprehension passage about department store Santas as prep for the standardized test they were about to take. One of the questions was, 'Does Santa say ho, ho, ho?' A girl deadpanned, 'Not in my neighborhood.'"
22."I once told my students I switched to half-caff coffee because full strength was making me too jittery. That day, I was visibly tired and out of it. After a jaw-cracking yawn, one kid frowned at me and said, 'I think you need to try 3/4 coffee, miss.' Still makes me giggle thinking about it!"
23.Finally: "When I taught preschool at a Christian church/school, I told my class that I was a mother to my baby daughter. One of my kids asked me, 'Did you get her from Walmart?'"
—Nadine M., Facebook
😂 Do you work with kids or have kids of your own? Have they ever said or done something that made you instantly crack up? Tell us about it in the comments!
Note: Submissions are edited for length and/or clarity.