7 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Eat Velveeta

Photo credit: Velveeta/Alexandra Folino
Photo credit: Velveeta/Alexandra Folino

From Delish

Full disclaimer: I didn't grow up on Velveeta or queso. So I apologize in advance to anyone I may offend. BUT I also really like American cheese (on a burger or in my mac and cheese)! And loads of other processed stuff-like Cheez-Its, Rainbow Chips Deluxe, and marshmallow fluff! It's just that Velveeta deeply upsets me. Here's why:

1. Paula Deen has multiple Velveeta fudge recipes.

To me this is the most disturbing. Not only does she have a chocolate cheese fudge, she has a peanut butter cheese fudge, too. Both have a ton of good reviews on FoodNetwork.com. If you are someone who left a 5-star review, please tell me WHY. 😧

2. It’s not real cheese.

Just like American cheese, Velveeta can’t legally call itself cheese. Instead it’s a “pasteurized prepared cheese product.” Yum?

3. It has a scary long ingredient list.

Here’s what’s in it: milk, water, whey, milk protein concentrate, milkfat, whey protein concentrate, sodium phosphate, and 2% or less of salt, calcium phosphate, lactic acid, sorbic acid, sodium citrate, sodium alginate, enzymes, apocarotenal, annatto, cheese culture.

Here’s what’s typically in cheddar: pasteurized milk, salt, enzymes. *Mic drop*

4. It’s shelf-stable.

Even American cheese needs to be refrigerated! “Cheese” that can be stored at room temperature for months on end must have a concerning amount of additives.

5. It’s bad news for anyone who’s lactose intolerant.

Normally, fresher cheeses contain more lactose, but Velveeta defies all logic. Averaging at 9.3%, it has even more lactose than real cheese. Cheddar usually maxes out around 2.1%.

6. It’s inedible unless melted.

You never, ever see someone serving Velveeta and crackers because that would be downright disgusting. It’s rubbery, bland, and tastes insanely artificial. There’s a reason Kraft markets it as “liquid gold.”

7. Queso with Velveeta isn’t that good.

I know that by saying this, I'm basically asking for hate mail...but I truly don't understand why people are soooo obsessed with Velveeta + Rotel.

There’s zero sharpness, tang, or depth of flavor in Velveeta. In fact, I find the flavor almost impossible to describe. It’s kinda sweet, eerily creamy, and overall really bland. (Yet somehow it leaves an unpleasant aftertaste.) Queso made with real cheese (and topped with fresh tomatoes) is 1,000x better.

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