Metselaar, who originally gained notoriety for being a viral food Instagram influencer, has now carved out a new space for herself by conducting hilarious interviews while simultaneously offering up insightful love advice to her listeners.
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“We Met at Acme’s” Instagram page is chock-full of helpful dating lists — such as five ways to improve communication in a relationship and basic rules for meeting the parents — and Metselaar told In The Know that one thing she really trusts within the realm of dating psychology is love languages.
“There’s … a language when it comes to love,” Metselaar said to In The Know. “And you have a love language that you might not know about.”
The concept of love languages was developed by Dr. Gary Champan in 1992 when he claimed there are five distinct ways people express love.
“We essentially have all five love languages, but some are more prominent than others,” Metselaar said.
Love languages describe how you feel love or appreciation and how you convey to someone else that you love them. Most of them stem from how your parents expressed love when you were growing up.
“It’s really important that we find out our love language and our partner’s love language early on, because it’s another tool to understand this person and it’s so important to be able to know what you’re dealing with and how to make your partner happy,” Metselaar explained.
You and your partner don’t need to have the same love language to work, but it’s helpful to know each other’s for better communication.
Metselaar helped break down the five different languages:
Words of Affirmation
“Words of affirmation is a love language based on hearing words,” Metselaar said. “So the words could be something like, ‘I love you, I’m proud of you’ and it basically just means that you need kind of external validation — which is totally fine and fair and a lot of people need it.”
Acts of Service
“Acts of service is when somebody does something for you to ease whatever you’re dealing with, to make your life a little bit easier — whether it’s going to pick up your birth control or tampons, or checking a grocery item off the list because they happen to be there and they could get it for you,” Metselaar said.
“Quality time is when you are spending undivided time with your partner, just the two of you, no distractions,” Metselaar said. “You shouldn’t be on your phone during those times. It’s like, you know, going to dinner together and going on trips together.”
“Physical touch is, you guessed it, sex and also just the idea of touching your partner when you’re with them,” Metselaar said. “Whether it’s holding hands in the street or, you know, giving them a hug on your way to the bathroom.”
“Receiving gifts is exactly what it sounds like. It’s when your partner gives you a gift and it’s not necessarily 100 percent materialistic. It’s more about the thought behind the gift,” Metselaar said.
Curious about what you and your partner’s love languages are? Metselaar explained that while the premise is based on a book, there’s an online quiz you can take that will take you through different scenarios to see what language you favor.
“It appeals to tons of millennials and Gen Zs, because we love to take quizzes about ourselves and it’s a perfect way of getting to know yourself a little bit better,” Metselaar explained.
For more discussions on dating and love, start listening to “We Met at Acme” here.
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